Category: Breaking Limits

Everywhere I go, I see so many of God’s generals that are walking around as ordinary people, no Impact, no influence just struggling to match up with their neighbors, forgetting that they have the Greatest God on their inside.

This is the last in the breaking limits series. We have covered a few grounds in the past 3 episodes, the first week we talked about the Approval craving syndrome, then the Lazy Thinker Syndrome, then the Multiple Interest Syndrome and there is an accompanying tool that I made to help walk you through the steps of breaking limiting beliefs in your life. You can get that at olusobanjo.com/breakinglimits.

Today’s topic is about people who see a vision of what God’s planned is, but they are unable to start or move forward in what God is leading them to do. My desire is that at the end of this episode you will make up your mind to go all the way with God to follow him as you also follow whatever vision He has placed in your heart to do.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

So What Are The Symptoms To Look Out For?

1. You think the vision is too big and so you want to give your best…but then you never start.
2. Or you think the vision is too small (at least compared to that of others), And so you never start. Or you even start and you lose steam along the way.
3. The last symptom is that what you see as the end goal is so big that you cant imagine you will have to start small.

So what’s the solution to this syndrome?

Consistent dependence on God!

Not following Jesus consistently is the biggest problem I have had. A study by Barna Research shows that only 19% of Christians have a biblical worldview. You see as a people pleaser, it’s easy for me to start off ok, but then gradually derail from following God. These shifts are so little that even I don’t notice, let alone people around me. However, all I notice is that I end up somewhere else and then I wonder how did I get here. I don’t know if you have been in a position before.

The big dream that God showed you is huge, yes, but it is many small steps that will lead you there. Don’t despise the little steps you need to take by focusing on the big dream.

Sometimes there are such complications that come with running ahead of God. There is a difference between Ishmael and Isaac. One was a result of human efforts on trying to fulfill God’s promise while the other was God’s  own fulfillment of His promise. It’s better to wait for God than to use your own efforts to make it happen.

I believe everyone was created with the intention to solve a problem and if done with the daily aim of glorifying God we gain influence and make Impact still.

“Seldom does God call and manifest the vision at the same time. There is preparation. There is testing. There is relationship building that must take place between you and God. Only once this is complete will you see the vision materialize. If God has called you to some endeavor and you are frustrated that it has not manifested yet, know that times of preparation and simmering are required before the vision can be achieved.” -Os Hillman

So I have a question for you; is there something that you sense God is leading you to do?

Are you willing to walk with him daily for the next season of your life to bring it to life? Are you willing to go through the preparation, the testing and the relationship building stage with him?

Are you set to daily crucify your natural desires and cravings for approval?

Please leave me a comment below;

What other solutions do you suggest for Impatient dreamers?

Do you have multiple interests? You are sure you can do well at many of the things you are interested in, but you are not sure which of your interests you should start with. You may even be confused as to which one to invest time in developing. If this is you then today’s episode is for you.

I decided to add this to my breaking limits series in order to help those of you that have multiple interests. My desire is to show you a way to break free from limitations surrounding indecision and to show you how to live a fulfilled live: how to move from confusion to clarity and how to begin to step into the influence that God made you for.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

So What do I mean by Multiple Interest Syndrome? 

Let me tell you a story about a few years ago, I used to watch the shopping network, that’s the TV channel that has all sorts of really nice items that can solve all your problems as a woman. Like mops you don’t need to ring with your hands, and computer tables you can collapse and put out of the way to give you a beautiful home always.

Back then used to dream of making all sorts of great stuff,  While I am still thinking of one idea, I get distracted by another really nice one. Around that same time was when I wanted to create an online library of books.

If you are like me, you get fantastic ideas like water from a flowing tap. Anywhere you look you see opportunities and somehow your brain can develop a solution to the problems you see. Your mind works like a machine. And you don’t like to believe that anything you think is impossible, in short, you see possibilities everywhere. You even love to challenge assumptions and you come up with various solutions even in mundane situations.

You may even be in a meeting with someone and as they are talking, your mind is creating the solutions they need. You can see it clearly, you may even tell them about the idea and they find it really useful while other times they just can’t see it.

Your mind is truly a machine, depending on what book, movies, course or simply any material you are consuming or what place you go or who you talk to, Its very natural for you to see various opportunities and also believe that you can do it and succeed at it.

So Why did I add this as a limiting belief?

I know you may be asking why? Especially for those of you who find it hard to come up with ideas, you may not understand why I think this can limit people. I have seen a lot of people limited even with this kind of a great mind. It’s easy to come up with ideas, but whether you can succeed at it is another story altogether.

It’s easy to start but you either get bored of the idea or as soon as you face a challenge on the way, you stop. Also, there is a subtle fear of whether people will approve of your ideas. After giving up a few times on their ideas, you tend to hide your ideas or get scared of starting and stopping again.

One big problem people like this have is the inability to focus. You see, for any one idea to become fulfilled and matured it requires time and consistent work. However for my multi-talented folks, before their first great idea comes to life, they already have another better idea, remember their minds works like a machine.

They get excited about creating the ideas not so much for the execution of it. Many of this folks also have the lazy thinkers syndrome that I was talking about in episode 49, I will add a link below.

They become exhausted, confused and overwhelmed they can not decide what to do next. The same gifts seem to be their greatest limitation. You may even drive family members crazy. Many of this folks also have the perfectionistic tendencies.

I have seen way too many people that are not able to make much impact though they have a smart mind and though they can learn any skill really fast.

How can You be free?

If you are like this or you know someone with this multiple interest syndrome,  I am glad that you are listening to this. You see this is one of the symptoms that God has been working on in my life. Again this is a work in progress, but I am so grateful for where I am today.

1. Live fully devoted to Jesus.  Your idea must not be the one pushing you, Jesus must be the one. Make up your mind that Jesus is your lord, not your ideas.

2. Focus– “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways”. As the ideas come, you must write them down in order to focus. Don’t try to chase multiple ideas at once.  He who chases 2 rats gets none.

3. Recognize what each idea truly is:

• Sometimes they are distractions,
• Sometimes they are just passions,
• Sometimes they are for ambition.

4. Test your ideas out in private: to begin, you don’t have to announce all your ideas to the whole world until you know where it fits in your life. You may not be able to commit to it full time, just practice privately.

5. Test the strong ideas in public: As a child of God and tool in God’s hands, one of the things you get from the Body of Christ is to sharpen your skills, to practice your ideas. When an idea is coming to you, try it out in church with the support and guidance of your leaders and friends. Also, Mix and match the ideas into your life. For example, before you quit your job to start teaching people to go mountain climbing, go mountain climbing with some people, test it out, see the problems you can solve in it.

6. Live your life to the fullest. After decluttering, you will find some solid ideas that you can pursue.  Ask yourself: ’20 years from now, will I be mad at me if I didn’t do it? If Yes, then free up some time to pursue it.

And if you need help on how to turn your idea into reality, you should go to purposeuniversity.online to get the help you need to start. My husband and I created an online course there that will help you. Its called Ready Set Impact. Register for it, its free.

I know very many people that have so many talents and many great ideas but are not even bold enough to start one, don’t be that.

Conclusion

You were fearfully and wonderfully made, but you must live as a single-minded person. You must focus on one of your ideas and work it until its great.  It takes about 3-5 years to get a great idea to a mature stage, that’s if you know what to do. After that, you can then actually hire someone to continue that while you take the next major idea on the list and you also bring it to maturity and on like that.

All the best!

 

Ep. 37 – Effective Quiet Time Guide: A Peek Into My Personal Practice

Ep. 49 – Freedom From Lazy Thinkers Syndrome

In this episode, I want to show you a really dangerous habit I call the lazy thinkers syndrome. I will show you the symptoms and then we will see how to overcome it. So if you identify as a lazy thinker already or if you identify with any of the traits in our discussion today, my aim is that after this episode, you will learn to receive grace to think at every time you need to.

Remember this is part of a series I titled breaking limits series. In the first of the series, I talked about my experience with a Stomach ulcer and how God opened my eyes to see some personal speed limiters I had, in the second episode of the series I shared about the Approval craving syndrome, can limit you and how to be free. That’s episodes 47 &48 in case you haven’t listened. I will link them below.

Again my desire for sharing this is so that you can find freedom in Christ to become all he made you be. The truth is that many of the ideas I share are very personal to me First and I am still dealing with these issues and I am on my way as well however, I have made a choice to keep moving, keep trusting God, I was not designed to please people but to please my God and so that’s what I will do. And that’s what I want you to do as well.

What is Lazy Thinkers’ Syndrome?

What do I mean by Lazy Thinkers Syndrome?  Well, its when someone is unwilling to exert their brain energy to consider or ponder the options beyond their current state or circumstance.

I didn’t even think this was a major thing until I began to do a study on this. One day I was praying, my prayers are always lord help me to live like you. and God opened my eyes to see a pattern in my life with this syndrome.

According to the study by Daniel Kahneman,  The Nobel prize-winning economists,  people are cognitive misers, meaning that the brain tends to seek solutions to problems that take the least mental efforts.  In practice, that means people answer easy questions in place of hard ones.

I discovered from research that because 90-95% of our thinking is controlled by our subconscious mind, what does that mean? only 10% or less of our thoughts are generated from our conscious mind, what we are experiencing now. That’s why you may drive all the way to the office and now remember any details on the trip. This is the main foundation for our topic today.

Why is it important?

Unfortunately, lazy thinking leads to haphazard fact-finding, shallow processing, and hasty conclusions.

Lazy thinking can be very dangerous and even deadly. It definitely has a great influence on the decisions you make, actions you take and your results.

So What symptoms are you to look out for?

1. In church, you meet people that will not engage God’s words for themselves for real. they only want to know what the pastor said. Someone told me ones, Olu, just tells me what to do. Don’t tell me to study the bible to find the truth. This is a major lazy thinkers symptom. Mind you I used to have some of this traits too. I used to study to show what I know, not necessarily to think and meditate so as to affect my own life, my assumption was that I am good and all I needed to do with God’s word in preach it.  I just need God’s word to teach others… hmmm, how wrong was I.
2. Another kind is the one I share just now, you get an idea, and you want to hit the road running. You don’t want to do the research needed, you don’t want to use your brainpower to run the idea from point A to Z. You see people like me will say, I don’t know where this is headed. I don’t. I don’t want to appear to be thinking about what I want, how can I? I only want what God wants. And since I don’t know exactly what that is, I don’t want to worry now. God knows the end product, all I want to do is trust, but Its a lie. This is why you will see that you may start that idea but it leads to nowhere?
3. Another one is when you are ready to are taking decisions and actions that are not well thought out, all you want to think of right now is that fun of the moment when I thought is about to come as per the consequences of your actions, you quickly shut down the thought. you convince yourself that there must be a way out, somehow.
4. Lazy Thinker jumps to conclusions quickly before taking time to think about the situation or the person. You ask them, why don’t you like that person, I don’t know, I just don’t like them. They blame it mostly on their gut feelings.
5. Lazy thinkers allow their minds be in the redundant mode and so allow a lot of negative thoughts to just sit around in their mental faculty. Unfortunately, This causes problems, it can create serious health issues, I can relate this back to the stomach ulcer experience I shared in episode 47.
6. Lazy thinkers tend to not live to our potentials. By allowing your mind stay glued to your limiting beliefs, you stay small. You tend to believe that you don’t have any other options.
7. Examples-Esau
8. Example- Samson

What about you? Do you have any other examples?

Again lazy thinkers syndrome is a deadly syndrome,  many have ignored or even wasted the grace of God upon them….

How can You be free?

1. Track your thoughts and Face it head on
2. Challenge your beliefs
3. Find Scriptures that will set you free. Remember to do this one at a time, Don’t crucify yourself if you don’t get it right, keep trying. Break the limiting belief that you can’t come up with another option, you can.

I created a tool to help you through this process, If you have not downloaded it already go ahead, it’s at olusobanjo.com/breakinglimits

I know you want to be all that you were created to be, and so I want to ask you to find truths that will cancel out the limiting beliefs and hold on to that.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

Other Links mentioned:

Ep. 47 – Identifying Limiting Beliefs & Getting Freedom

https://www.olusobanjo.com/ep-48-freedom-ap…craving-syndrome/

 

In this episode, we will be looking at How always craving the approval of others can limit you, different ways it shows up in a person’s life and how to overcome it. In order words, after this episode, you will be able to easily catch yourself when you are desperate for approval and find the strength to move away from this people-pleasing traits in order to fully live you are loved. like Jesus.

Don’t forget this is part of a series on breaking limits.  limiting thought that may have been hindering you from becoming who God made you. I told a story of how the stomach ulcer I had pointed me to many limiting beliefs in the last episode and how I got freedom. If you haven’t listened to it, you should, it’s episode 47. I will add a link to it in the show notes.

In this episode, I am trusting that our darling father will open your eyes to see how this might have been limiting you and how to become free.

Now If this is the first time you are listening to me, I want to say welcome, it’s always a joy for me to be a part of your day. I am sure you may wonder what gives me the right to share this? I was there before and trust me, I am still a recovering people pleaser. Thank God for The abundant life I received from Jesus, and for the word. I am becoming more like Jesus inside out. So I want you to relax, it’s going to be fun.

What is ACS? Find other people definition authentic

This is a situation when someone craves the approval of other people or person, so much that it affects their behaviour and emotions. When a person mind is consumed by the approval they got or did not. Many times this is also reflected in attention seekers. They become uncomfortable or feel unappreciated when they are not the centre of attention

We all thrive better in good relationships, we were actually built to relate to each other and we actually thrive when we are praised. It’s great to get feedback from other people that are special to us, people we respect and value their opinion.

However, the problem comes in when your emotion or behaviour changes because you got the approval you want or did not. When your performance goes to the extreme or becomes zero because of approval.  Gary’s example.

Now, why is this important?

If one of your desires is to be all you were designed to be or you want to enjoy the life of God that is in you, then you must pay attention to this. You want to pay attention to your heart.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

http://bible.com/116/pro.4.23.nlt

This approval craving syndrome keeps people in mediocrity. They use most of their thoughts to think about approval from others instead of thinking thought it hat will grow their capacity. They get easily frustrated, stressed and unfulfilled. Because the approval they want is not coming. They usually have issues with self-esteem and confidence.

These people can sense that they have greatness inside them but they are also waiting for others to approve them before they can boldly live that life of purpose.

They send out a message and they don’t get a response in the next few minutes they start to think maybe I shouldn’t have sent it, oh maybe she is mad at me now. Some others won’t even sent out the message because they think no-one will like it. So they keep the grace that God has put inside them buried away. They see the awesome work that others are doing and they think there is no way I can bring mine out, mine is just simply rubbish.

What are some symptoms?

Here are a few behaviours that show you are an approval craver:

You pay insincere compliments to gain approval

You are sad and even mad when someone disagrees with them

You change your position because a stronger person appears to disapprove

You fail to complain when you are treated wrongly

You ask for permission when there is no need for it

You apologize in advance and say sorry even when no-one has complained about a wrong they did.

You say yes to things you don’t really want to do

You want to be all for everyone

You may even gossip about others to gain approval of another person

You even go the route of bad behaviour in order to conform to others around you

You want compliments so bad that if they don’t get it the may become upset

You pretend to know what you don’t really know to appear smart

Now I believe most people have a degree of this syndrome, some have little of it or have learnt to not depend on others for approval, but others have huge doses of this syndrome.

Let me also say at this point that seeking other people’s approval is a sin. I know someone you may be thinking now you are taking it too far, but wait let me explain.

Tell the story of a person:

So let’s say you have a friend, a very close friend if you are not yet married and if you are married your spouse. So your friend’s birthday is approaching and so you keep trying to see what you can get for him. It took you some time, but finally, you found it, the perfect gift. You wrapped it up and present him. On the day of, as he opens the gifts wrap, another friend saw the Gift and made a very bad comment about how the Gift was such a cheap gift, and that she knows where to get a better Gift, and thought the Gift was really bad. Then your friend or your spouse looks at you and says, why did you get me a cheap gift? Why didn’t you give me the best of the best?

How would you feel?

How will you feel if right in front of you, he trashes it?

How will you feel if every day after that he never stops to talk about how bad the Gift was?

I suppose you wouldn’t like it. Yeah, that’s similar to what we do when we live our lives daily hunting for other people’s approval. When what people say or don’t say or what people do or don’t do affects our behaviour or emotions.

I also remember how I used to hit the refresh button every minute to get feedback and responses. Now don’t get me wrong, I still love to get feedback from people, and I also love criticisms but I am no longer going to allow that to dominate my day, I will move forward whether I get approval or not. I will do what I think God wants me to do. I will not waste the grace of God in my life and you shouldn’t too.

Also, do not take seriously everything that is said, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you, for you also know that you too have cursed others many times.”

ECCLESIASTES 7:21-22 AMP

http://bible.com/1588/ecc.7.21-22.amp

“Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?”

Isaiah 2:22 NLT

http://bible.com/116/isa.2.22.nlt

How do you get freedom?

So how do you overcome this approval craving syndrome?
Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matth 11:28

First, you need to Be Aware of these and other tendencies, next you Face it and Gain Real Approval from God.

I created a tool to help you through the process. You can download your own copy at olusobanjo.com/breakinglimts Go and get your copy.

This is not just a read the scriptures exercise, oh no. Freedom comes when you know and truly know the truth. When instead of the lies you had believed you now begin to live your life based on the truth of God’s word.

So I want to encourage you to check your heart, track your thoughts, do you have the approval craving syndrome? Trust God to helps you. Don’t forget to get the tool I created for this purpose at olusobanjo.com/breakinglimits.

Let us pray, lord we know the thief comes to kill steal and destroy, but you cane to give us life. Lord you bring life to every deadness in us.

Coming up we will discuss another syndrome I call the Lazy thinker syndrome. Don’t miss it.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

Other Links mentioned:

https://www.olusobanjo.com/ep-47-identifying-limiting-beliefs-getting-freedom/

https://www.olusobanjo.com/learn-to-say-no-in-order-to-say-yes-to-gods-purpose-for-you/

https://www.olusobanjo.com/breakinglimits/

Having a vision for your life is very important but with an approval-craving mentality, you likely wouldn’t reach your fullest potentials. I know many who are aware of the great plans that God has for them but to a large extent have been limited. In this series we will be looking at different limiting beliefs, the symptoms to look out for and how to overcome them. This is the first in the series.

As you may already know I am a recovering people pleaser and that means I can relate to this topic very well.

I used to have a really bad stomach ulcer. In May of 2012, I was getting ready for our annual ladies conference VGC, the pain was so bad. I needed to drive 3 hours from Kingston to Montreal and was doubting how.

That morning when the pain started and I made a comment to my hubby, I said; “this pain is getting out of hands, I think I really need to fast and pray about this pain it really has to go”. His response brought me insights into the depth of my issues. He said, “you don’t need to fast and pray or you need to stand on the victory you have already in Christ”. Wow! that’s true, how come I never thought about it that way? Christ already paid bought me freedom from diseases, but then I still had it.

At my hotel room that night I tried to pray but the pain was just too much. Toms didn’t help, even the prescription meds didn’t work. As the host pastor for the conference, I wasn’t even sure I could lead the women the next morning based on the way I felt, but somehow I went for the conference by faith the next day and it was a great time with the ladies. We drove back that night because I was scheduled to travel to Nigeria the next day with the boys and so we did.

As soon as I landed in Nigeria the pain was gone, you won’t believe that I didn’t even look for the pills at all through my trip for almost 3 weeks. I got back to Kingston however and there it was again.

That was only when I began to connect the dots. The ulcer was stress related. I began to notice that when I had to minister or had so much on my schedule, the intensity of the pain increased. I also noticed that relating to some certain people intensified the pain. This was an epiphany for me. I also noticed that meeting with a certain set of individuals developed more tension and stress in me.

Who were these people, those that I thought didn’t like me for who I was. For some reason, when I meet people, depending on how the meeting went, I could somehow deduce that they didn’t like me. I am sure you are wondering…some either because I noticed they were trying to get me to behave in some ways, others because they volunteered an advice I didn’t ask for or they didn’t seem to care about me. In a nutshell, it was people that didn’t give me the approval I wanted. Sadly but true.

So I used to get stressed going to be in close proximity to them. Right before such meetings, I was stressed worrying about what to say and what not to say. I was consumed about appearing smart before these people that I was no longer free to be me. I tell you the energy and brain space that I engaged was huge. According to Benjamin Hardy, I believe that this unresolved mental issue was what created the tension in my stomach, causing the pain.

Also, the enemy doesn’t want you to be in tune, he will keep you busy fighting the wrong enemy. He will give you many worry assignments

So how did I overcome this? After I returned from Nigeria,  God asked me to do an exercise. Write down all your fears and find a corresponding truth that will set you free.  And I did.

One major thought I dealt with was:

That some people don’t like me and I also don’t like people that don’t like me and many more

Let me admit here that there will need to ask for forgiveness.  I wrote all the fears plaguing me at the time. It was scary facing the thoughts coming from my heart. I wished I hadn’t deleted that note from my phone, I wish I can go back and see where I was but unfortunately I deleted it.

I am so grateful that God opened my eyes to see that I was using the life He gave me to gain people’s approval. And guess what I was a pastor. The process of finding scriptures that will set me free was a major path on my victory journey.

After this process, I began to use my mind space differently, I began to see people differently, I still met with people that I felt didn’t like me, but instead of being super sensitive around them, I focused on God’s love for me. After a while, that part of me was set free completely or should I say to a large extent.

You see if you want to become whom God made you, if you want to follow God’s plan for you each day, you must identify what has been limiting or pushing you. What has your thought pattern been like? Yours may not be expressed in form of stress-driven stomach ulcer, in short, it may just be your perfectionist tendencies, it may be the over-achiever tendencies, it may even be expressed in the way you push the people around you. Whatever the case is,  this year must be a year of fulfilling God’s purpose. A year of trusting and obeying. You must get out of the rot of waiting and waiting hoping that things will magically change.

I have created a handy questionnaire that will help you through the victory process.  Go over to olusobanjo.com/breakinglimits. Go get a copy there now.

Always remember that someone out there needs what God has put inside you and that greatness needs to come out.

Coming up we will discuss how the people pleasing lifestyle shows up on your path to purposeful living. Don’t miss it. 

Don’t forget to join us for Ready Set Impact!

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