Ep. 42 – Time is Running Out: Turn Your Idea Into Reality

ready set impact

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

  1. I am growing older and so are you
  2. Time is running out, so the time is now
  3. Everyone must answer the question: what would you love to be remembered for when you leave this earth?
  4. If you are not taking steps towards that now you must
  5. Join my Online course to help you with turning your idea into reality today before registration closes.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

Register to be a part of my first Online Course, Ready Set Impact!


Ep. 42 Transcripts: Time is Running Out: Ready, Set… Impact!

Like Jesus Podcast, Episode 42. Drum rolls!!!

[Intro Beat]

Hello and Welcome to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo. I’m glad to be talking to you again today. I hope you are having a great day.

Now, 2017 is coming to a close and personally, I’m very excited at this time of the year because my birthday is right around the corner. And I’m so so glad. Each time my birthday is approaching, I’m so excited. I’m especially excited this year and I’m going to tell you why. But before I go ahead and tell you why, I traveled recently to see my parents-in-law and my parents. And it was such a beautiful trip. It was really packed and it was just a weekend – Friday to Monday – and it was tiring. However, I still came back really really full because you know, when you hang out with older people, you learn a lot. I was really excited to go back to where I grew up. You know, it brings this feelings back and sharpens my dreams a lot more – brings back to memory some of the dreams that I used to have. And so it was really really good. However, my parents were in church when I got to the city so I had to go meet them in church and of course, when I got to church, I met so many people that have not seen me in many years. I was even shocked because somebody was saying to me – one big brother – one of my family friends, was saying to me, “You know I’ve not seen you in 12 years” and I was like, “12 years come on!!!” But of course, with Facebook, it doesn’t feel like that. So yeah! But it was good to see him; it was good to see many other people.

Now, In my culture, just a normal way of greeting, especially those you haven’t seen in a long time is that you kneel down to greet them. That is not something that I do on a daily basis. I hardly find people to kneel down to on a daily basis. And so… I don’t do frog jump when I’m doing my exercises. I do running around, I do walks, I even do jumping jacks and jogging sometimes but I never do frog jumps. And so when I was there, I had to greet a lot of elderly people and so I was just kneeling down and rising up; kneeling down and rising up for many people. They were all very excited to meet… I was excited to see them. And it was fun. However, I realized that at some point, I couldn’t even continue walking. I got to a point where my legs were beginning to freeze, like I couldn’t continue.

[Laughs]

I never experienced something like that before because I mean, how can I have… my legs are there but I can’t move. And I’ve never done frog jump to that point before. By the time I got home to my parents house that day, I was just knocked out. I just slept and I was so tired. I was expecting that after having a warm bath and after rubbing ointment and all that on it, that my legs would come back to normal the next morning but nope! It did not. For days after I had returned; 4 – 5 days after I’d returned, my legs were still hooked. Then I started doing some frog jump, kneeling and stuffs like that to get me back into shape. And right now, you know, this is like almost a week after I came back and it’s much better… I mean, I don’t even feel the pain anymore. So that’s good.

But why am I sharing that with you? The truth of the matter is that my knees and my thighs are not the way they were when I first started living. Not even when I was 18! They are not the same. As I approach my birthday, I remember, especially even with this kind of situation that I’m not getting any younger. I’m getting older! That’s what that means and I don’t know what you’re thinking right now. I wonder if you are laughing at me and thinking, “Yeah, Old Woman…” Yeah! well, laugh at me but I’m not the only one growing up here. You are at the same time. I remember a few days ago, I was just in church and I was trying to read from a paper Bible. The letters were medium to small and I tried to read this thing. The light wasn’t so bright in the section of the church where I was and I tried… I tried to strain my eyes. I couldn’t figure anything out of what was written on the pages and so I had to use my phone to light the place… And I realized that even my sight is not 100% and once again, it’s not the same way it used to be and I’m growing older.

The main reason why I’m sharing this with you is time is running out for us. Now you may be looking at yourself; I’m getting to an age where I’m feeling this is the prime of my life and this is the time to do a lot more. But as much as I’m entering into the prime ages or I’m in the prime ages, I still have to remember that time is running out at the same time. And time is running out for you as well. You see the purpose for this is, I know many of you out there that you are listening to me, you have ideas that somehow you feel God has put in your heart. You’ve tried to shove them off, you’ve tried to discard them but somehow they keep coming back. You have this passion within you that you feel “I need to do this… I need to do that…” And you’ve not been able to do it maybe because you’re very busy; maybe because you’ve not really had time to focus and understand what exactly it is and so because of that, you just let it go. Maybe you’re so busy with your career that you’re not able to spend extra time to build and develop this idea. And I’m talking to you. This podcast today is about you.

The idea that God gave you, there’s a reason why He gave you. There’s a skill that He gave you and there’s a reason for that as well. When He gave you all that, there’s a reason – He wants to achieve something. And that’s why the past couple of weeks I’ve been reaching out to you my listeners and I’ve been asking, what’s the frustrations that you have in the area of achieving, you know, turning your goals, ideas into reality? And many have talked about many different things. Some have said even just having the guts to start is a big thing because you know, there’s so much going on. Where do I find the boldness to step out and just start? Somebody else told me, I don’t even know what steps to take. How do I start? Somebody said money is a big frustration. How do I get funding – money to execute these goals that I have? Somebody else said I’ve started many things and the obstacles that I encounter after starting something, is too much that I don’t even… I fear starting something because I’ve really sort of failed in many other things that I’ve started and so I’m not interested in starting again. Somebody else said How do I combine all these things – transforming an idea into reality. How.do I combine that with so huge schedule that I have already? I have all these, you know… As a man in the house, I have so much to do. The bills have to be paid… As a woman in the house, I have so much to do. The children don’t run to the nextdoor neighbor’s mum to solve their problems. They still come to me… How do I find time to execute another plan when I have not even balanced what I am doing well? And so many. So many… Somebody said how do I even… how am I sure that somebody would listen? How do I find somebody that’ll listen? And many many frustrations that people have. How do I carry my family along on this task that I have? How do I prioritize and organize my life? How do I find time? Many many reasons why people find it hard to turn their ideas to reality.

And that’s why I have made up my mind to execute this online course that people can take and it can be there for you – that you can always come back to and you can use it, especially as we are finishing 2017 and entering into 2018 or whenever you are listening to this. Ready Set Impact is ready for you to be able to turn your ideas into reality. As a child of God, you need to learn how to execute the plan that He has put in you. The Bible says the world awaits the manifestations of the sons and daughters of God. And that which God has put inside of you, He wants to be able to execute it. But if you don’t know what to do – if you have all these challenges that they are like roadblocks and you are not able to progress then that’s why a lot of people focus so much on their work that they don’t focus on the thing that God wants to use them here to do.

We just concluded a conference and my husband asked a question. He said, You need to define your identity. You need to ask yourself, when you are no longer here, how would you love to be remembered? When you’re done with your activities here on earth, how would you want to be remembered? It’s a question that we all have to ask. I want to be remembered as somebody that is encouraging everyone to pursue that plan that God has for them despite the difficulties – despite the limitations. I want to be that person that encourages you to get all from God and be all that you can be in God. And that’s what I want. When all’s said and done, I want people to be able to remember me for that. And I don’t know about you. What exactly is it that you’d love to be remembered for? And if this thing that you’d love to be remembered for is not the job you do right now, if it’s the idea that is still on your head, then you might as well, start settling your mind and getting ready to plug into this. It may be a ministry idea; it may be a business idea; it may even be different other things, platforms like writing a book, writing songs, creating a website… Different things like that that you’d need to do. But you need to be on this course and you need to plug in so that you can do this and do it well.

Somebody said, you know, when I went to Lagos for the conference, somebody said – this is a quote but he wasn’t sure exactly who said it and I’m quoting again too, I dunno who said it but he said, “The salary that you are getting is what you are being given to shut down the plan of God or to shut down your passion… The salary that you have, is what you are being given to ignore and shut down the passion and dream that you have…” Think about it. Now if you’re working in a position where you love what you are doing and you feel this is what God has called you into, you may not have a 100% of why you really really like to do but you are on the path, that’s fine. Sometimes, you find yourself that what you really love is going in the direction C but then where you are right now is in the direction Z. You say, “there’s no way this two are going to meet…” so you might as well begin to look at your job as something that is paying you now, in order to be able to find what your dream really is and then you begin to pursue that.

Now on this course, we are going to do that. We are going to take time to figure out what’s going on with some people and I’m looking out for people that want to be case studies. You want us to use your idea as a case study, I’d really really love you to go to my website, olusobanjo.com, and leave a comment or send me a voice recorded message. Now you can do that on my website. You’d see green button somewhere on top or on the side, I’m not sure what platform you are using to – whether on the desktop or on your phone, you’d just see green button that says, “leave a voice message” and so you click on that. And if you want to be used – you want your case to be used the case study on the course, it’s good because then we can help you literally turn this idea into a reality. And so leave me a voice message. If you have a question also, you can leave me a voice message on the website and I’ll address the question. Of course, you can leave comments as well but voice message, you can do that now on my website. And I’ll be glad to see… maybe we’ll even do a hangout, Facebook live or something where we come together and analyze your idea and break it down until we get to the core of it and then we start fleshing it out.

One of the things I’m going to teaching you on the course is How do you even verify that that idea is valid – is a viable one?” Because you see, many ideas that we have, they are not viable. They are not going to last. The reason why many of these ideas didn’t work in the first place is because they are not viable. They are not concrete enough and so I’d give you the strategy, the formula to know, to use and to validate an idea even before you start. For example, the person that is saying, I’m looking to… I want to know who will listen, we need to do that even before you start. We need to find the listeners and begin to address their needs even before you start. So, there’s a lot that we are going to be covering on the course and we’re going to deal with even some limiting beliefs that affects you and affects the idea.

So, I want to encourage you – go over to olusobanjo.com if you’re not registered – you don’t get an email from me on a weekly basis, you go onto my website and you enter your name and email address to enter into the course Ready Set Impact and then we’d… on my birthday – 7th November by God’s grace, I’m believing that the first course – the first set of module will be out that you can start working on. Then we can look at case study using somebody’s case to get it better because then we can… for you that will be doing the case study, you have higher chance of starting 2018 with a very nice roadmap of what’s going on. And obviously other people that are going to be on the course but if yours is the case study, you know that you are hiring a coach that’d guide you through it for free. So I want you to get on this and let do this together. 2018 is a great year that God wants to do a lot of great things in our lives and He wants you to be light to the world. He says you don’t light a candle and put it under bushel, you put it on top of a table because a lot of people need to see it. There’s something inside you that the person out there is looking for and if you are not going to plugin and find that thing and get started doing it, then the person that needs it won’t get it. Then we are going to use other people that have achieved their ideas also, we’ll bring them and get them on this course as well so that they can inspire you as well.

Alright! So, that’s what I want to share with you today. And I want also pray with you so let’s pray together.

Father, I thank you so much because you have a plan for us. I thank you because you have a plan for your son or your daughter that is listening to this. I thank you because you’re the one that is putting this desire – you’ve been putting that desire since they were little or since a long time ago or maybe it just came. And this desire is not for fun. I know that you want to use this desire and you want to turn it into something that’d help many others. And many times Lord, I see all the things that we benefit from today. Even the recording set that I have here, it was an idea in the mind of somebody before but now I use it, I use this pen, I’m sitting in a couch… you know, I have many things that were ideas in the mind of somebody but I thank you because you helped those people to turn them into reality. All my listeners that are listening to this, I pray oh God that you’d help them that they will recognize the ideas that are in them that’d need to be turned to reality. And this week as we enter into the Ready Set Impact Course, daddy that you’d help them and they’d begin to see new things and the way you want them to go. In the mighty name of Jesus. Lord, we look forward to all the things that you are going to do with this course and we ask oh God that you help everyone that’ll be a part of it, help everyone that needs to know about it to know about it. In the mighty name of Jesus. Blessed be your name oh Lord and let your name alone be glorified. I pray for all my listeners, I pray that this week will be great for each person in the mighty name of Jesus. For those on my team as well, this week will be great for each person in the name of Jesus. We love you Lord, we thank you for everything. Blessed be your name. In Jesus name, Amen!

Alright. So don’t forget. If you’re reading or listening to this and you’re not getting emails from me – you’ve not at any point gone to enter your email address to my website and your name, go over to olusobanjo.com, register for the Ready Set Impact Course. This course is going tone for a limited time so you want to be in before I close the gate to it. So the number of people that registers by the time we close the course is what we are going to work with. So if 2018 is important to you and you want to be in this course and you need guidance to enter and to achieve more in 2018 with God’s help, then you want to register as soon as the gates are open – as soon as the class opens and after a while, we’ll shut the gate and it’d just be just us that are inside. So you wanna be on that.

God bless you and talk to you again next week. See you all on the inside of the course. God bless you. Bye!

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Ep. 41 – How To Critically Evaluate Your Ideas Before Your Start

how to critically evaluate your ideas

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

  1. There are ideas, dreams, and visions. This is in response to visions
  2. First, you need to be satisfied with your life in Christ. Be at peace with who you are.
  3. Try to catch the experience or feel the feeling of where the vision is going.
  4. Imagine its a Yes, what steps will you take?
  5. Be emotionally detached from the idea. Ask yourself: who has done it before? What could go wrong?

Listen on iTunes or Google Play

Register to be a part of my first Online Course, Ready Set Impact!


Ep. 41 Transcripts: How To Critically Evaluate Your Ideas

[Intro ]

Olu: You’re listening to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo. I have my husband here with me as well, Ade Sobanjo.

Ade: Hello Everybody!

Olu: You’re welcome again today.

This week, we want to look at, How do I critically evaluate my ideas and vision? We’ve been talking about spending the time to hear God and God’s guidance.  After you begin to hear God speak to you, the next step is to clarify the idea that comes. The point is not to start running with what you get because you still need to fine-tune it until it becomes perfect or gets to the point where it is 80%, like what Pastor Ade was sharing the other day; where it begins to be clear enough to know that, “Okay, I need to begin to go – proceed with this now.” But before it gets to that point, you need to clarify it in your own head; you need to critically analyze it and evaluate it so you are able to see what exactly it is that may be a challenge in the future. Or maybe you need to prepare in some way for that. So, you really need to evaluate what you are doing. But, I discovered that over the years, one of the problems that I have had personally is that I didn’t want to share my ideas with people because I feel that they are going to dismantle my ideas and then, nothing will be left over in that idea.

There was a post that I did a couple of weeks ago about surrendering what you’ve always had as an idea of who you want to become to God. I’m going to link that post in the description for this episode where you can go back and listen to and read it. What I was saying in that is, you see, as we grow up, depending on the experiences that you had; depending on your childhood; depending on some of the things you’ve gone through, what happens is that you create a picture of who you want to be in your head. And, everywhere you’re going, every person you are meeting, you want them to help you achieve that thing that you want to become. When you meet people that are helping you, you like them. When you meet people that make you feel like you’re not as good as what the picture is in your head, you would not want to hang out with them. You’d be fighting them, getting angry or getting mad at what they do and all that.

I remember I used to look at things in this way where I’d hold on tightly to who I want to be. When it gets to the point of sharing the idea with somebody, most especially when it comes to sharing with my husband, I’m thinking “Why is it that you always poke a hole in my ideas? Whatever I want to do, you have something wrong with it…” That’s the I look at it because I thought in my head, “This is what I want to be and I don’t want anybody to take that away from me.” But the problem with that is that you are not able to critically analyze and evaluate your ideas. And when you do it, you start and you stop because the challenge that you were supposed to figure out before you start, you didn’t figure it out; you didn’t analyze it to the point of discovering that this challenge is going to come. But you jumped in and then you have to jump out or you cover your face out of it.

And I began to discover that this is one of the reasons why a lot of us that are maybe like me [people that are like me], don’t achieve many of the things that God puts in our hearts because we don’t critically analyze it. Because, you are scared that if you analyze it, you won’t have anything left. I discovered this on a particular day when I had been planning to have a project and somebody asked me a question and I was cut off guard. I didn’t have an answer to that question. In my head, I’d been thinking about this project and it’s so beautiful but the question was bringing another side to what I was thinking and then I realized that my husband had not just been poking a hole in my ideas. I really need to learn how to look at it critically to be able to project into the future and see how it is done. After that was when I began to… That was when I wrote that post I was talking about and realized that I always want to do this and this is because of the fact that there is a void inside – there’s this scarcity that is inside. At a point, I wasn’t completely satisfied with whatever God was calling me to and I wanted to paint it a little bit better. I wanted to appear a little bit better in my own eyes or maybe in the eyes of other people. So, I hoard that idea but the problem is that I still don’t do it or I still don’t get to successfully achieving that thing. I began to realize that I actually need to… and if you’re out there, you have this idea; you’re scared to share with people; you’re thinking if you share it with people you’re going to mess it up or they are going to mess it up for you and you’re not going to have anything, it’s partly because you are still maybe holding on tightly to an idea of who you want to be and you are not completely satisfied with what God wants you to be.

So, that’s why I want to ask you, sweetie, the questions today on… I know that it’s easier for somebody else to help you critically look at what you are looking for but I want us to look at the idea of “How do we even learn?” Even on your own before you even start sharing with other people, how do you learn to critically evaluate your own ideas in order to be able to achieve it, I mean, in order to increase the chances of actually achieving what you want to achieve?

Ade: Yes. Thank you so much for the opportunity again. I really thank God that people are really engaging with this podcast and they are learning and we are learning as well. So, it’s great!

As you were speaking, I realized that there are different levels of this that we are talking about. There are ideas, dreams, and visions. I’m talking about ideas – ways to improve what you are already doing. I want to call those ideas. So you’re already doing stuff and you have ideas to improve it. So those are ideas. Dreams are things that you really would love to achieve and I want to define vision as those things that you feel God is saying to you to do. It’s a little bit stronger than just dreams. That’s how I want to put it but sometimes, you can look at it as the same – big things that have to do with your whole life.

Now, let me answer that question with reference to things that are big like that – vision. You know you have this idea of something big that you are going to do with your life and you are thinking, How do I critically evaluate this idea? Is it a God idea or just a good idea? Is it a fantastic idea that is good? Is it for me to do or for another person to do? Is it the right time to do it?

So, how do you do that?

I think the first thing from what you were saying is you need to be satisfied with God. I think that’s a very fundamental step – you need to be satisfied… I think that people who achieve more, are people who are at rest where they are already. They feel that they are themselves. They are where they ought to be but there’s more than God can do with them so they are not trying to achieve. However, they are trying to be impactful – to impact more.

And, you may not think like that – like that’s a problem. Like you were saying, it may not even occur to you that the reason why you are afraid to really look deep or that you don’t know how to look deep, is because you have not yet settled the fact that “You know what? Where I’m at now is where God wants me to be. I’m just wanting to know if he wants to do more and if he leaves me here, I’m okay!” Once you settle that then, you are able to now look at whatever ideas more critically because you are not afraid that even if it doesn’t happen, then it doesn’t happen. That means that I’ve checked very well to be sure that it’s God or it is not God.

So, that’s how I looked at my ideas or my vision. When I was going into this – when I was going to decide whether I was going to continue to operate as an engineer or I was going to operate as a pastor, I needed to do that. I did that way before I became an engineer actually. I knew in my heart that I’m going to be more of a pastor than an engineer. I knew it while I was at the university doing my master’s program. And so, I think that helps us a lot.

Once you settle that like I mentioned earlier, the next thing is to ask yourself, “Okay, Where is this going to?” You have an idea, how far is this idea going? Is this going to go far enough? Am I ready to go all the way with this?

As a person, somehow [I don’t know how], I have a lot of ideas come to my mind. I share with you, sweetie that if this idea comes to my mind, it’s a great idea but I can’t run with it if it is a new career. You know I’ve said that a few times. I can’t run with it if it’s a new career. For example, I come to Nigeria and see it’s always hot, I could think that “Wow! A good ice cream company will do very well here.” But then, that’s a new career. I don’t have the time to sit down and run with that. So I say, “it’s a good idea but it’s not my idea.” I think about it for a while and then discard it because it’s not my idea. Why do I do that? I think of it, “What does it involve? How long? What stakes in the long run? How is it going to help? How am I going to be involved? What is it going to take?

So those are the questions that I ask… That’s the first one… I don’t know if you want to chip in on that or you have questions…

Olu: No, I think you are head-on, on this point because if one is not satisfied with who you are, you are not even going to be able to enjoy all the other things that God wants to do.

In my own life, I see the difference between the time when I was struggling to achieve – and I tell you, I was struggling to… You know me! I was struggling to achieve a lot. But I’m now doing it from the place of, “I don’t care if I’m not anything. I think I’m good. What I have in Christ, I’m fine. Anything else is an icing on the cake.”

And, I really like also, the way you brought the idea, dream, and vision, just to separate because sometimes, we waste time on ideas – things that are just supposed to fly in our head and go away. And people like me will do that a lot because you take those ideas, you sit around and you’re… the scarcity mentality. You want to make sure that it becomes something. And you waste time a lot on that – things that could have just been passed on to somebody else.

I remember the time that God helped me to see that these ideas – all these ideas that are coming to your head, it’s not for you. They are not for you. You can throw them to other people and move on but the call – the main thing is what I want you to focus on.

So, I really like that. I’d like you to please continue.

Ade: Okay, Great!

The next thing is to try to feel the feeling of where you’re going. I think that’s important – you need to feel it. Try to feel it. How will I feel when I get this done? What are the feelings I’m trying to capture?

So, for example, when I was still studying to be an engineer now, I knew that God was calling me to pastor and build a church and to really be involved in the work of ministry. I could feel it. I knew when I went into a meeting or when I’d share, what I’d love to experience; the experience of being submissive to God; the experience of being used by God-given words from God and seeing lives changed… I loved that feeling and I wanted that with all my heart. That’s what kept me going. So, you should try to feel the feeling.

So example, I read the story of a lawyer who became a restaurant owner. So I’m sure… what does that woman need to do? She needs to think about it, “If I have people coming to eat in my restaurant, how do I feel?” If you feel so good about it, then I think that’s what made her quit the thing and went to become a restaurant owner. So, the same… If God is leading you in a way, try to feel the feeling.

Then, the next step I have here is “How do you begin to do that?” I ask people the question, “Very good now. You say you want to do this. What are the steps that are involved? Imagine you are going to do it now and you have all the money to do it now, what will you do?” So, the person begins to tell me and I do that to myself too. Imagine you have a go ahead and God is saying, “Yes!” You hear from heaven, “yes this is what you should do…”, what are the steps involved? You now begin to imagine it; you play it out in your mind without any risk. You’re not spending any money. You’re just playing out in your head, and you play it out step by step. So, how are the people going to know about it? What are they going to say? What if they don’t want it? Why would they want? Ask those questions. So, you keep asking more and more questions.

And in order for this to be able to happen, you have to be emotionally detached from it. In other words, you’ve told yourself, “If it doesn’t fly, it’s good. I know it’s not God. If it doesn’t work out, it means it’s not God. So I’ll just leave it. But usually, it doesn’t go away. If it’s God, it will keep coming.

So, what do you need to do?

You just keep asking those questions. Ask those tough questions from yourself. Imagine if it’s not you – someone came with the idea to you, what would you say to them? So I say those things to myself and when I’m done with myself, and it’s still going – the idea is still strong, then I pass it on to other people. I begin to share with them, I have this idea, what do you think? And most times, by the time I’ve done that – maybe 70 out of 100 times, people would begin to give me good ideas. The lot would say, “That’s a good idea. That’s fantastic!” Now, it became a good idea because I have worked on it and I’ve changed a lot of things as I’ve asked myself some tough questions.

And I also ask another question. So, that’s 3 things that I’m adding.

The third thing I ask myself is “Who has done this before?” And then I study to see what they are experiencing – what they are doing? do I like it the way it is? is there a modification that I want to put in it? I ask all those questions to give me an idea of what it’d look like in the future; what are the hindrances in my life right now that may not let that happen. Am I ready to learn the skills and all that stuff?

Olu: Wow… This is very good.

It’s good that you are talking about dissociating yourself from it because you won’t feel bad when somebody is asking you tough questions. You know that… You are happy. Almost like you hire yourself to help somebody achieve their goals. You don’t see it as your “do or die” thing. And it comes back to that scarcity thing. I like what you said in the beginning. You said something about being at rest. When you are at rest, you are not struggling with that one idea. You know that you are already satisfied.

One of the reasons why I began to do this podcast is I discovered that many of us as Christians, I used to be like that… We have levels, okay. I used to be where I wasn’t satisfied with what I have. I mean, when you compare me with a lot of people, I’m way better back in the day. I even wrote a book called living from the inside out. And that was my level at the time where I was not ready to do it on the outside anymore. But, I discovered that many of us as Christians, we’re going around and we are still looking for more. We still want some more satisfaction outside Christ. If we can remind ourselves that we are already satisfied with Christ – if I’m not satisfied in Christ, each one of us will and our listeners too as they are going through the process of clarifying their vision, if this is still a challenge, there will be some hesitation; there will be some stress. And even the devil would come and begin to poke holes in some of the great ideas – things that God wants to do because he knows that you are still trying to be something. You’re still not satisfied with God.

So, this key to being satisfied with God – enjoying Him fully, it helps you achieve what God wants you to achieve and I really like that. I think that it’s something that we must address very well that if you’re going to be able to see the future… I discovered that even making mistakes in life has a big part to play in it, if not the foundation. If you’re not satisfied with God, what it is, is you’d be looking at today and you’d not want to worry about tomorrow. You’d say, “let me just enjoy this one now. If I enjoy this one now, tomorrow will deal with itself. Let’s just do this one now. It’s good to enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow but if you’re making a mistake or if you’re going in a direction where it’s not supposed to be or you are shortchanging yourself, it will affect tomorrow. It will affect tomorrow.

So, I really like this. I don’t know if you have other things that you want to add to this.

Ade: Yes, I just wanted to mention that when we talk about being at rest in God, I really want to emphasize the fact that it means just being happy that we are saved; we are the children of God, we hear from God and He’s got our backs. Just knowing that, I think is enough. We don’t need more than that. But because we are now in Him, He has the big plans and we can find out those plans.

And so, this “critically evaluating what we are doing”, is just making sure that it’s God’s plan, not just a good idea. It’s a God’s plan. God wants you to do that. And so, you already have this lingering desire. Something is coming up – It’s popping up and is not going away. So, you subject it to these barrage of questions and you bring it to others – your mentors. It’s important to have a mentor. It’s important to have someone in your life in different areas. You don’t have to have one mentor for everything but you can have a mentor for this particular area. Let them ask you all these difficult questions.

At the end, you come back and fine tune it if it keeps coming. Or sometimes, after they’ve asked you those questions, you go to sleep; you go to your prayer place and you hear nothing – it’s gone. That means it wasn’t really God speaking to you because it’s now gone… That’s how I do it. When I go back to the place of prayer… So after asking these questions, that’s not the end. I go back to the place of prayer and then check again in my spirit – how is it going? Many times if it’s God’s idea – if it’s something that God wants me to do, it comes up stronger. I feel still excited about it even though I’ve seen more difficulties. Sometimes, I didn’t notice some areas that’d be difficult but as I’m asking questions and I’m releasing to people, they show me areas. But then, when I’m in the place of prayer, I begin to get solutions to those problems. Then I know God is still working with me.

Olu: Amen. Amen. Amen.

And I also think that your spouse is the first person, I mean if you are married. And, I know that a lot of people struggle in the marriage with this because depending on your background and your spouse’s background, you may be thinking, “Oh… this person is just a pain…” But really, they are not a pain. God is going to use them. Then your siblings – maybe sometimes;  your parents – sometimes; your pastors, your…. In overcomers, we have life group leaders – your life group leaders. You are not scared that they are going to destroy the idea. You’re satisfied with God, remember! And even if this idea never flies, you’re okay. But the thing is if this is God, God will make sure that it happens because it’s important to Him that that thing comes to life. It’s just sometimes the fine tuning; sometimes it’s to cut it off completely; sometimes, it’s to fine tune it so that it will last a long time.

So, as we wrap it up, sweetie, why don’t you say a word of prayer?

Ade: Before I pray, I wanted to just say that what you said is very important. The people who this idea will impact the most, need to hear about this early enough.

Olu: That’s true! That’s true.

Ade: So that’s why your spouse, very important and your children or your brother or your roommate… whoever… The significant people in your life at that time must hear about it. After you’ve done your first level of fine tuning, then you talk to them and then you move on – just in stages and you’ll still go back to God.

Olu: And we’ll still talk about this in the future.

Ade: So yes, Let’s pray.

Father, we thank you for this time. Thank you for all the people that are listening and really want to fulfill your purpose for their lives. I pray oh God that your Grace will continue to abound upon each one of us as we pursue you and enjoy our relationship with you. We ask oh God for clarity for each one of us. We ask oh God, for grace to really look at whatever it is that you are asking us to do and bring up those tough questions and not be afraid to ask them. And not also be afraid to try to solve the problems that may pop up in our minds as you speak to us and prepare us for the future.

Lord, thank you to everyone that may be going through a difficult time this day, we ask together for victory for them. We ask oh God for breakthroughs, healings and for help in every area. Thank you, Father. In Jesus name, we pray, Amen.

Both: Amen!

Olu: Alright, thank you, everybody. It’s always good to share with you. There’s something new that I want to add to this and that’s – You can send us your questions. You can send it by recording, send it by writing it; send it by email. The email to use is olu@olusobanjo.com. And you can also send it through WhatsApp if you have my WhatsApp number and you can also email it or just leave it as a comment on the website. Anyway, the way we are going to do it is questions that you have, we’d look through them. You can even do them by audio – you can record the audio and we’d add it to the podcast. We’d decide which ones we are going to use. But, send them to us and we’d be glad to use your questions.

Alright! So, thank you very much. We are glad to be with you today. Have a great week! Bye Bye.

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Ep. 40 – How To Deal With Self-Doubt

how to deal with self-doubt

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

  1. Limiting thoughts like self doubts will always come, you only need to learn how to deal with it
  2. To deal with self-doubt you need to bring every thoughts back to God
  3. God made you unique and someone out there is waiting to be blessed by what you have to offer.
  4. When self-doubts come it may be an opportunity to re-evaluate or an opportunity to improve your ideas.

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Ep. 40 Transcripts: How to deal with self-doubt

[Intro ]

Olu: Hello and Welcome to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo. I’m very glad to have you with me on the show today. I’m going to be doing this alone today but it’s going to be a wonderful time.

For the last couple weeks, we’ve been discussing the ideas on fear and a lot of people have sent in all sorts of questions in regards to different fears that are coming up. And many of my listeners from all over the world in Europe, America, Canada, Nigeria, are finding it hard to deal with some of the fears that have been limiting them. I have answered a few of questions one on one to the people but then, I want to bring it together and answer them on air. Maybe there’s somebody out there that is battling with the same thing that some of the people that sent in their questions are dealing with. That’s why I decided to do this.

And I must say this here that if you want us to feature your questions – should in case you have a question you want us to answer on the show, you should send them over to me by either typing them or recording them as an audio. If it’s clear and understandable enough, we can even feature it on the podcast so you can hear your own voice! Leave a message via WhatsApp, or e-mail. If you are going to record, I’d suggest that you use your headset. If you have an iPhone or any other phone, you have a headset that comes with your phone, you can use that. It helps the recording to be clearer. Also, try to be in a place where it’s not noisy – possibly in a closed room [not too small a room so you don’t have too much echo]. Just try to limit the background noise so we can hear you clearly.

Today, I want to answer questions around, How to deal with self-doubt.

Many of the people that have been sending messages, sent different questions in the same way – those questions revolve around self-doubt. And I must say that this is very particular to everybody including myself. Because you see, the last 10 months that I’ve been working on producing episodes after episodes for Like Jesus Podcast have been fun! It’s been great! But it’s been hectic as well. You know, I’ve had lots of dry moments and times of self-doubt myself. I’m telling you, there have been plenty times where I’ve doubted what I’m doing and asked myself, “how is it helping anyway?” I must tell you that. That’s why I’ve decided to share with you on this episode because this is a crucial topic. When God begins to tell you things to do, your doubts will come in. It’s not necessarily because you like to doubt yourself but because if it’s God’s plan, the enemy doesn’t want it to work so he’ll bring all sorts of doubts to discourage you.

So, many of my listeners have been asking lots of questions centered around self-doubt based on what we’ve been discussing. One listener asked: How do I go forward with an idea when I know I’m not yet a pro at it?So I have this idea, I know I’m not I’m not a professional or the best at it. I’m worse off than many people on this same topic, how do I go ahead with it knowing all these? Another person said, What if what I’m feeling now is just me talking to myself? What if I’m just over spiritualizing everything, saying it as if it’s God that’s actually talking to me? What if it’s me, myself and I that are just talking? Another person said, What if I make mistakes and ruin the plans? All sorts of self-doubt are there and these questions – second guessing, all fall under self-doubt.

I must say that I was really glad to hear all these limiting thoughts that my listeners are having. Why? Because these thoughts may just be a sign that you are on track. So, you don’t need to panic and if you are off track, that’s okay too. The fact that you have self-doubt doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world. It may just be an opportunity to reevaluate. So on this episode today, I want to help you know how to deal with self-doubt and get over it at least for this moment. Because, trust me, they are going to come back. That’s pretty much how it works. Self-doubt will always come back. So listen, if you are out there and you think you have an idea of what you want to do but you are being limited by different speed limiters, know it for sure that you are not alone. You’re not the first person… You now know that many other people feel that way.

In short, a recent example for me is when I launched an e-book. Many of you will know my personal quiet time guide that I just launched. It took me a weekend to come up with that book, create it and finish it. By Monday morning when I was hitting the send button so it can go out to all my subscribers on my website. As soon as I sent it, I began to have all sorts of self-doubt thoughts like, “Nobody likes it or needs it. In short, you just wasted your whole weekend doing this. Nobody needs it! It’s the same thing out there for everyone. So it doesn’t really matter because what you’re saying is not different from what everybody is saying. And I just began to have all these thoughts. For the first 15 minutes, after I sent the e-book to people on my list and I put it on autopilot on my website so that people can download it, I just started getting all these self-doubt thoughts. My husband wasn’t around at that time so I sent a message and I said, “Guess what? I’ve sent out the e-mail [he’s on the list too so he’s going to also get it.] But, You know what? I’m feeling really discouraged. I don’t feel like it’s going to help anybody. I feel like it’s useless, it’s not going to be useful to anyone and I just wasted my time producing it.” And then he said, “I don’t think so. Hold on a sec, let me go read it.” So, he went because he wasn’t around for me to go back and forth for him to look at it. When he read it, he replied and said, “You’re just allowing the enemy to discourage you. This material is actually very good and it’s going to help people that read it. It’s going to really help them.” For the first time after I sent that, I realized that I had actually allowed the enemy to be speaking in my ears, discouraging me.

So you see! It’s not just you that goes through this problem but when this happens, the question that you are going to ask yourself is, “What do I do when self-doubt comes?” By the end of the day, I had so many people that had sent me messages, thanking me for the book. They said, “Wow. Thank you for the book. Now, I would understand how to pray better; Now, I know what to do with my quiet time and how to get the most out of it…” Including pastors all over the world, telling me “This is really good. Thank you!” And I said to myself, “Why did I allow myself to be discouraged for that moment?” And that’s the way it works. The enemy wants to discourage you.

So, in order to deal with self-doubt, the first thing is that you have to bring that idea back to God in prayers. Everything that I say comes back to the presence of God, right? But that’s the truth for everything that we do. If we’re going to be the ones that are going to impact the world – to be the salt and the light of the world that Jesus said we are, we have to go back to Him every single moment to get his opinion. You’ve already started getting the idea of what you want to do then the self-doubt starts to come. You bring it back to God and say, “Lord, I surrender this plan to you. I don’t care if I don’t even achieve it. I’m already in you so I surrender myself to you. I want you to take over my life and take over this idea.” When you do that, what you are doing is you want to take on the wisdom of God and the boldness that comes from hearing God talk to you. And when you take that, you back to fight, to pursue and work! When you are going back to work, you’re not going back with your own wisdom or strength. You’re going with the strength of God. That’s why it’s very important that you get the boldness from God.

An example that came to mind this week is the story of David and Goliath. You’d look at David and you’ll think “you are going to fight a giant. If you look at yourself compared to that giant, you actually look like a grasshopper.” And the giant, Goliath didn’t keep quiet. Rather, he kept saying all sorts of things, “They sent you to come and fight me? These people are stupid. I’m going to serve your head to…” He kept saying all sorts of things. If David had gone with his own strength or with his own wisdom; if he had gone with the wisdom and armor of King Saul, he’d have been served as fish, as a meal to the birds of the air. Because he’d have been going in the wrong strength. But because he went back to God in prayer and he knows the relationship that they had, he said, “I was with my Father’s flock and a lion came, a bear came and I destroyed them.” He remembered the strength that helped him – who helped him to fight a lion and then he went with that strength to attack Goliath. So as you are getting self-doubt, if you try to polish it and you say, Oh… No No No. I’ll be fine. I’ll do well…” It’s going to stress you and you’re still going to not achieve that thing. You may achieve it a little bit but eventually, you will not get there. But, when you go with the strength of God and the grace that God can give you, you’re no longer going in your strength, rather, you are going in His strength.

The next thing you need to do is that you need to share this idea. Don’t just keep it in your head. Share it with other people and critically analyze what your idea is. This point would be discussed in the next episode, Episode 41. We, myself and Pastor Ade, are going to be dealing with this. He’s going to tell you to step by step what you need to do so you can learn how to critically analyze your ideas personally and when you’re bringing it to other people to help you analyze it. That’s what we are going to be dealing with in the next episode. Because it’s very good to get feedback. You need to get feedback. Like I was saying about my e-book there, by the way, I’m still giving out that book on my website. If you get feedback from people, it helps you know if what you are doing is the right way to go or not. Like for me, when I got feedback from my listeners, it was good for me to know that the devil is just discouraging you. Don’t worry! What you’re doing is helping other people. Even if it’s just one person. Even as a mum at home, sometimes, you are doing all these things and the enemy might come to discourage you saying, “Why are you doing all these?” But then you let God remind you that you are doing it for the children and your husband. You can be in a church where you are doing this project and it looks like nobody see what you are doing… Self-doubt can come in many ways. Believe in the feedback that you get from other people as they are telling you. Don’t feel as though they are just saying it to make you feel good. It’s just the enemy again, making you doubt yourself.

The next important thing to do about self-doubt is to remember that you are unique. You are very unique. God made each one of us unique and He made us in such a way that even though you may have a twin, you’d not think the same way as your twin neither do you do the same thing as your twin. If you don’t have a twin, it’s even easier for you to know that you are unique! Even if there’s someone that looks like you, there is a completely different mindset. So you don’t need to worry about whether or not you are original because you definitely are original.

I was thinking about it this other way. We all read the same Bible but when we read it, we all get different things from it. When we are doing family devotion at home and each person is sharing, it’s beautiful because even though it’s the same scripture that we have, everyone has a different perspective on it. Let’s look at it this way again. In Nigeria, there’s this thing that we do which is called the “Zobo Drink”. The Zobo drink is a juice that you make from hibiscus flower. They take that flower and dry it. They dry it so much that it becomes purple dry leaves. Then, they take the hibiscus flower and boil it in plain water. From the hibiscus flower, the juice comes out – coloring the colorless water purple. It becomes the drink. Then you can add whatever you want to add – sugar, honey, jolly juice, ginger or pineapple [to make it have a natural flavor]. Even though all you are doing is just adding the same common raw materials that everyone else uses for different things, the juice of the flowers comes out and it tastes different. If you add ginger to the same water, it doesn’t taste like Zobo. One thing that you have to realize is just as unique as Zobo is, the same way you are unique. You take the Word of God, it comes to you, washes off and it becomes a part of you. When it comes out, it becomes something else. We take the same scripture, I explain it differently and you explain it differently. It addresses my situation differently and then I share it that way. It addresses another person’s situation differently and we share it that way. Each one is unique on their own.

So, don’t ever feel like what God is doing in your life is too insignificant. You’d be saying, “God is not smart enough.” When God created you, He created you uniquely and looked at what He had made and said, it was good. Including you. Don’t forget that. I want you to not forget that. You need to remember that God is the one that has made you. Your flavor is something and there’s someone out there that is waiting to be blessed by what you have to offer. I’d say that again. Someone out there is waiting to be blessed by what you have to offer. Take the boldness that you are receiving from God’s presence and start stepping out today, as soon as possible.

That’s why I’ll be opening the veil over my very first online course shortly. I already put the link on my website. Just go to olusobanjo.com,  you’d be able to sign up. The online course is called Ready, Set, Impact. I believe there are many of us out there that God is already putting some things in your heart. You’re getting ready, getting set and it’s time to start impacting. If you’re looking to start 2018 with clarity, you want to be on that course. Go over there to olusobanjo.com and sign up for the course. If you have a ministry idea, an idea of a service you can start to render, a book on your mind that you want to write, songs, a blog, or other things that you want to do, you must run over there and go sign up for Ready Set Impact Course. It’s free. You’d get emails, different tools, videos, transcripts and other tools/tips that’d help you get ready and start. That’s why I think everyone on the planet should sign up for it. If you know anybody that has been dragging their feet – they are scared. Just tell them to go over to olusobanjo.com and sign up for the online course. And let’s get started. I know that the tips and free stuff you are going to get from that course will help you to confidently start to pursue God’s purpose for you in no time. Once again, go over and sign up on olusobanjo.com.

In conclusion, if you are ever faced with self-doubt, remember that it’s a normal part of life. It may be an indication to reevaluate or an opportunity to improve your ideas.

Alright! So, let’s pray.

Father in the name of Jesus, we thank you because you take time to reveal yourself and your plans to us. Lord, I’m trusting you that everyone that is listening to this, especially those that are having limiting thoughts or struggling with self-doubt, I ask, oh God that you help them to move past this. That in your presence, they’d find the boldness to pursue what your plan is for their lives. In the name of Jesus. Whether it’s in the little things of today – what do I do or not do or whether it’s in the major steps of finding and pursuing purpose, Lord, I pray that you help them to embrace your boldness and the grace to take this and allow you to work on them and the plan, to become what you have in mind. In the name of Jesus.

I pray Oh God that anyone that the enemy is taking time to limit, we silence the enemy and we declare that my brothers and sisters are secured in you and your plans for their lives are secured, in the name of Jesus. You said in your word that you have a plan for us, one of good and not of evil, to make us have an expected end. So, Lord Jesus, I pray that each of one of my listeners will have an expected end, in the name of Jesus. Anyone that is working on a project right now and is trying to understand how and where to go, Lord clarify things for them, in the name of Jesus. And let this be a wonderful week for everyone, in the name of Jesus mighty name we’ve prayed. Amen!

Alright, People! It’s always good to talk with you. Don’t forget, if you have questions you want us to feature, go over to olusobanjo.com and leave a comment on this post. Or you can send them by WhatsApp or email attachment to olu@olusobanjo.com. So, send them in and we’ll take time to answer your questions.

Alright. God bless you. Thank you. Until next week, have a wonderful time listening to God. Bye for now.

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Ep. 39 – How To Overcomer The Fear Of Failure Part 2

fear of failure

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

  1. In order to overcome fear, you must take time to write down what you think you are hearing from God
  2. It’s important to be sure that its God talking not you so take time to clarify the vision, think more about it
  3. God’s plan is usually very huge, but we must ask Him how to start small, stay steady and finish strong
  4. Your personal time with God is key.

“I’m gonna make the rest of my life be the best of my life”   – Anonymous

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Ep. 39 Transcripts: How to overcome the fear of failure Part 2

[Intro Music]

Olu: You’re welcome to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo and I have my husband, Ade Sobanjo with me today. Thankfully, he’s back!

Ade: Hello!

Olu: It’s good to have you. 

Last week we started on the topic of fear and how to overcome fear in starting out what God is putting in your heart to do. We mentioned different fears that we had. But while we were talking, sweetie, you mentioned that maybe it’d be nice for us to look at “What were  the fears I had following you?” Cos you’re the visioner and I actually took some time to think about it. I can’t remember any major fear I had before we started. I remember that it wasn’t new to me especially because I had known you for a while before then and you had been saying this or something similar to it at the time. Maybe it wasn’t as in-depth as it was at the beginning but it became clearer and clearer so the fears were not real. I was more optimistic about the whole thing and knowing you – knowing that this must be God… You know, I see the way you walk with God and I know that it’s not just coming from nowhere. So, it was a lot easier and I’m not the number one person so what could go wrong for me at least? I didn’t see it like that. But it was not until we started the work that I started to develop different questions and fears. And I’m definitely going to be talking about that in another episode.

Today, I’ll like us to focus more on this aspect of overcoming the fear that may be limiting you to start. Last week, we identified some of the fears you had and some that I had. One of them was the fear of not hearing right – Am I sure this is God? The next one is the fear of doing it wrong – I know I have heard but then, am I going to do it right, the way it’s supposed to be? I talked about the fear of failing in public, fear of people discouraging you, and I know that there are so many other fears out there that people may be feeling. One of them may even be the fear of losing control, losing your comfort, or losing those things that you are attached to if, for example, God is calling you to begin to do things that will pull you away from your comfort zone.

And so, I’d like to ask you a little further. I want us to delve into this and help this fellow that is very busy with activities or busy in their mind and wondering, how do I overcome this fear of starting out when I’m not even sure?

Ade: Yes. Thank you so much for taking the time to remind us of those things. There’s one other fear that I had then which I mentioned – the fear of knowing the right time. I think that’s what really stops a lot of people from starting even when they know and have clarified that it is God that is speaking to them about something He wants them to do.

Let me just start by saying that the most important part of this is being sure that this is God. I know that once I know it’s God, I’ve overcome a lot of things. Which is, I know that it will be well; it will end well when I have the idea that this is God speaking to me. I think that’s the same thing that you are saying about how it was for you when we were going to start the church. You had this confidence that it’d be okay because you knew it was God speaking to us. Let’s talk about this fact: if I know that God is saying something to me, how do I go forward with it? How do I overcome that fear of moving ahead? We’ve talked about clarifying that it is indeed God and this is done in the place of prayer. Now, I’d like us to talk about taking the first steps. When we started, we didn’t start by closing our business, you quitting your job and then we going in full-time. No! We started small and I always say that – start small, stay steady and finish strong. That’s how God has helped me and I think if anyone wants to do anything, you should think of starting small. Before we even think of starting, let’s talk about clarifying.

For clarifying, I’d say the first step is to write down what you think you are hearing. Don’t think about how it is going to be done, who is going to help you or whether people are going to like it or not. Just write down what you think you are hearing. For instance, if I’m a doctor and I’m beginning to hear God say to me, I want you to be a musician, I want you to spend more time doing gospel music… And, I know that I have the gift of music, then I’m going to write down – What am I thinking of doing now? What’s going to happen? I’m going to record an album, start a record label… I’m just going to write down what I’m thinking I’m hearing. It’s from there that I can now move forward.

Olu: So, from what you’re saying, I’m hearing, Take time to write down but what if I don’t have the time? You don’t know how tight things are. How do I even get there? Because, a lot of times, what people may be going through may be in the aspect of being so clouded in their minds that they are not able to find that time. Is there a way that you can recommend to help somebody find that time?

Ade: Well, that’s a good thing you are saying. I don’t believe that people don’t have time. I believe that we usually make time for what we need to do. If a person tells me that I don’t have any time to sit down and write down what I feel God is really saying to me, then I’d have to ask them really, what are you spending all that time to do? Because, if the owner of you is trying to get your attention, and you don’t have time, it’s similar to your boss trying to call you for a meeting to talk about the reason why you are employed and you tell the boss, “you know what? I don’t have any time to meet with you.” You’re going to be out of a job so quickly. That’s how I see it. If I say I don’t have time to sit down and hear God, then it means that I want to crash that life.

So, what will you do? Take one day or weekend off, talk to your husband, beg and say, “You know what? I’m going to do the next week or 3 weeks if I have to, but can you just take the children for 5 hours? I need to get something straight…” Just do that. What I’m saying right now is that it really doesn’t take much time. You can even write it on your lunch break. What are the thoughts that are coming to your mind? Just write them down and then they’ll begin to flow. I think once you start writing, there is a flow – you’ll see yourself writing some more thoughts that never came to your mind before when you were still busy – not engaging that thought.

Olu: Very good! Very good! So, this person has the time now and they’ve scheduled. Perhaps, they found a few minutes to squeeze this in and they’ve actually engaged the thought… I like the way you said the owner of your life – the one that sent you here is asking and demanding to explain some things to you and you are busy. It just reminds me of one time that God spoke to me using the colt that Jesus rode in Jerusalem. He said just the same way that colt was tied down, I want you to be reserved, I want you to reserve space in your life for me, just in case I need to use a colt – just in case I need one hour of your time, reserve that time. So, I think it’s just very important that we are able to find time for God.

There’s this other fear which is, “I know what I have right now. I’m familiar with what I have going on – this is comfortable for me. Then God begins to call you to go into some else that is unknown – completely unknown. And you are writing it down but it’s still unknown. What do you say to such a person that is comfortable with where they are right now – it may or may not be great but it’s a known. So, what about the unknown? How do you scale through to begin to believe the unknown more than shoving it under the bed?

Ade: God usually calls us and directs us to something that we are not used to. What we are not used to is not usually unknown 100% because if God is calling you to it, there is something that you have, already deposited in you by Him, that’d make that happen. Somehow, your life is designed for whatever God is calling you to. Unknown is usually in the sense that you don’t know what will happen once you start doing that; you don’t know how your life will be impacted once you go out and begin; you don’t know what it’s going to lead to. And so we are afraid to leave the comfort to begin something that we don’t know where it is going to end.

For that, what I’ll encourage someone to do is just start thinking about it for now. The first step is never doing. It’s thinking, imagining it and letting it go through your mind. Ruminate over it and pray on it. That’s what I do. I take time to pray over it. I think of it and imagine myself in it and think of how far it will go. You know, just dream about it. It is while you are doing that, you’d develop the strength to either go forward or go back.

Sometimes, I’ve had to think about things and while it grows bigger in my mind, trying to see where it’d lead, I discover that the whole thing dies down because it was just a desire, not a leading – not a direction. But there are some things that when you let it stay long in your mind, you discover that it is actually a leading. For example, you say you are feeling called to enter into ministry. You’d have to think about who you are ministering to. Say it’s ministry to children, think of designing a program for children. Then you think about what you want to do and how you are going to design it… All of that is in the brain. You’re not committed to anything neither have you spent anything. The only thing you’ve done is thinking and that’s very important. It is after that is settled in your mind that you can then move forward. Once you get that, the next thing is something I said earlier – think of how you can start small.

Olu: Thank you very much. As you were talking, I really like the statement where you said, when you begin to think about it and you are clarifying, the boldness to start will come. The thing that looks like it’s an unknown right now will become so real to you and you begin to do it. That brings us back to the point of clarifying the vision and making sure you hear what God is saying and as you are writing it down, you’re bringing it back to God.

Do you want to talk to us a little bit more about that? It’s taking more time to think about it now and it’s writing some things down, how do I clarify with God? Do you want to talk a little more about that? How do I perfect what I’m thinking about? Because some of the ideas that I have are mine – just me dreaming big and some are what God wants me to do right now. How do I clarify with God which one to do and which one not to do?

Ade: Usually when God begins to speak to us, it’s way bigger than we can imagine. I find that when God begins to speak to me about something that He wants to do, they are humongous – scary in the sense that when you think of the size of what they are, you may panic. That’s why I said write down first. When you write down, you think about it.

The clarity comes with time. I can’t overemphasize that. I don’t think it is wise for you to have an idea today and then you are implementing next week. I think it’s best to give it one month or a couple of weeks. Once you’ve done that, the next step is sharing with your significant other – your spouse, your children if you have them, your mentors, your leaders… There’s a process if it’s something that God is asking you to do because usually, it’s big.

Now, there are some things that God will ask you to do which are just like simple instructions like “Talk to that person. Visit that person. Develop a new hobby. Become  more healthy in your living…” That’s not what I’m talking about. Those are things you just do. You just take actions. These are things you can’t lose. You gain from them as these are things you ought to be doing anyway. I’m talking about God asking you to change a career, add a new career… Sometimes it’s an addition. You don’t have to end what you are doing. There’s a way that God has planned to join them together. That’s why I’m saying once you have clarified, it won’t be much of an issue.

You were asking how to clarify which is God’s plan for you exactly. I think writing down and praying through is the way to go. The things will change as you go ahead. A lot of things will change when you are in it. But you want to get yourself motivated to start it. I begin to think about the difficulties that are ahead, what are the challenges that I’m going to face… I think about these things and don’t shy away from them because if you shy away from them, you will meet them and then you won’t know how to handle them. If I keep thinking up all the problems, and the challenges and I keep having ideas on how to solve them, then I keep going. But sometimes, you think of all the challenges that are there and you discover that I didn’t think this through… this isn’t the way to do that. Now that doesn’t mean you should shut down on the project. No! It means you should figure out how to solve this problem and keep going. That is how you’re not going to stop after 2 weeks when you are ready to take off.

Olu: Very true!

As you are saying this, I’m just remembering some things that I’ve been venturing into recently. This is the sewing world. Recently, I got a sewing machine and I just enjoy it. It’s like a hobby – just making dresses, making things that members of my family would wear and it gives me so much joy looking at that. I want to do more of it but I can’t. I was beginning to think, “What next do I do? Do I hire someone?” I had that fear at the beginning and even up till now, I’m not exactly sure where this is going.

When I started making the first few things that we were wearing, people started asking me, Oh! I want one too. And it’s like people began to demand more of that thing but I’m not even sure I want to do it… I’m just seeing it as my hobby but now I’m beginning to see it as it can actually be a clothing line or something like that. And I’m doing a lot of study and prayer but still, I’m taking it one step at a time.

It’s good to know that you just do as much as you can but make sure you clarify. That’s one thing that is keeping me right now – clarifying and getting an idea of how is this going to fit into all that I have going on? How is this not going to take away from the most important things in my life? What exactly am I getting at? Where am I going with this? So, I’m still trying to understand all of that with the very little time that I have left to think about something else. Even though right now, I have somebody that comes into the house and works with me on this, but it’s taking so much time but I see it as an investment because I’m trying to see what it takes to even consider going in this direction. It’s costing me some money so it might cost some money as well.

I think that this has been a very good discussion today and I really like the way things are going. I don’t know if you have some other extra things that you want to add to our listeners that are saying, I think I want to trust God and go for it. By go for it, I don’t mean taking steps yet but maybe there are some people that are taking steps and they are ready to push on or some are still at the place that they are saying – I just want to clarify some more. I don’t know if you have some other final things that you want to add.

Ade: Yes. I want to also say that we don’t need to put all that hocus-pocus around God speaking to us. Sometimes, some people are so scared to say God spoke to me and I heard a loud voice. It’s not about that. It’s just that desire – He just begins to give you an idea. He drops a thought. You need to know how God speaks to you. When God speaks to you, and you have this idea, you just begin to develop it. Just like you said, Olu, that you got a machine and started sewing. That’s not going to be a disaster if someone spends some money to buy a machine to try out a hobby. That’s why I said, once God begins to put something in your heart, don’t make too big a deal of it. However, if it’s a very big deal – for something very big after you’ve thought about that, come back again and say, how do I start small so that I can step out, taking one step at a time and build from there.

Just like you were sharing, I also had this desire in April 2016. It was that “You know what? I’ve heard people say they’ve made money online through Amazon so I said I’m going to do a small website and see how it’s going to go. Now, that website is making some little change, little money but it’s money. And it’s just a hobby so we can do those things and they have a way of impacting our lives.

So, if you are there and you have this idea to do something for God or do something that you’ve sensed it’s been there, why don’t you think of starting small? But that’s after you’ve talked with people around you. It’s always good to talk with the people around you. They can show you a few things that you may not see and then trust God to lead you and to guide you. There’s nothing wrong with you going a few weeks or months down the line and realize, “Oh, it’s just going to be a hobby… it’s never going to be big. It’d just be a one-time investment.” That’s alright but you don’t want to do a lot of that for your life and not really do one thing big that God may have been impressing in your heart to do. That’s what I just want to add.

Olu: Thank you very much. And people, it’s been nice just sharing with you again this week. I just want to wrap it up with the idea that your personal time with God is key.

Your personal quiet time which we talked about some weeks ago – spending time with God and actually hearing Him. Back to the point where Pastor Ade was saying, the more you spend time with God, the stronger that thing is in your mind. The stronger it becomes and the bolder you become then you begin to take steps. No matter what people think or what’s happening, you just keep going.

I was looking at the book of Joshua the other day, that common Joshua 1:8. I realized that this guy Joshua had been with Moses for so long. He was ready but God still had to go get Him and say, “Don’t fear. Don’t worry. Just stay with me and let this book of the Law not depart from your mouth. Rather, meditate on it day and night.” Spend time with God and that’s where you’d get that boldness from. Don’t worry. Just keep going.

I’m still giving away to anyone that subscribes to the e-mail, ‘My Personal Quiet Time Guide’. It’s still available. If you have not signed up, it’s a mini book that tells you some of the things that I do when I pray and this isn’t some things I just came up with all by myself. I got them from books and other people. So it’s going to definitely help you. There are some questions that I ask myself every day as I journal. Questions like: What did I learn yesterday that I won’t want to forget? How did I follow or lead people? You want to, you know, ask yourself questions. These are tools that will help you engage the thought of what God is saying to you. When I look back at many of the things that I write, I see that I can even use them for other projects later. It can become a devotional, a book, a training guide… you know, just me journaling what God is saying to me on a daily basis. I know you do that too, sweetie so I know a lot of people do that.

So, if you want that book, just go to the website, olusobanjo.com and enter your e-mail address and you will get an email to confirm. You check your junk email most likely, it will be there if it’s not in the inbox and then you confirm that. Then you get the book.

To close it today, I’m going to ask you to please pray for us.

Ade: Father, we thank you so much for this time that we’ve had discussing obeying you and yielding to your leading – your promptings in our lives.

Lord, I pray for everyone who is listening to this that you’d grant them the grace to take the time to stop and listen to you. And as they are listening, they’ll have the grace also to write down and flesh out why you are speaking to them; to dream, to imagine and to allow you to show them the picture of what you want to do. And furthermore, give them the grace to take that first step to begin that new thing you are laying in their hearts to do; to bless somebody. Father, we desire that your name alone will be glorified in all that we do.

I pray for strength for everyone that is going through a difficult time right now. I pray for breakthroughs and victories for those who are going through really challenging situations. Thank you, Father! In Jesus name.

Olu: Amen. Alright! Until next week, continue to enjoy God’s presence.

Bye for now.

Ade: Bye!

More

Ep. 38 – How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure

how to overcome the fear of failure

Listen on iTunes or Google Play

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

  • After you start to hear God leading you to start, fear of failure can limit you.
  • Learning how to overcomer the fear of failure is an important aspect of living purposefuly
  • Stay in God’s presence to get more clarity and confidence against fear
  • Share your vision with those who can keep you accountable
  • Read and study about others that have done what you want to do

“For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:26‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Question: “What about you? What’s the big challenge out there that you are trusting God to overcome for you?”

 

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Ep. 38 Transcripts: How to overcome the fear of failure

Preamble: False start…[both laugh]

Olu: You’re very welcome again to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo. Today, I have with me my husband, Ade Sobanjo. Even though he’s far away from me, we are doing this recording via the Internet. I’m so excited today because he’s usually the tech-guy and I’m the follower but he’s not around and I’m making this happen. So, I’m so excited to have you, Ade on the phone. Why don’t you say your usual hello to the people?

Ade: [laughs] Hello everyone.

Olu: [laughs] Thank you very much. So today, what we want to discuss is something I believe is dear to many people; something that a lot of people are maybe dealing with.

Last week and over the past few episodes, we’ve been talking about the fact that you need to be in the presence of God in order to be who God wants you to be. You need to take time to actually listen to Him. Also last week, I gave out the quiet time resource that I use personally, as promised. I’m getting a lot of feedback from people about that. Thank you for your feedback and always remember to let us know what you need and how we can answer some of the questions that you may have.

Alright! After talking about the fact that we need to hear from God, I know that some of us are already listening, hearing from God and spending the time to hear what God is saying to us. But, there is one thing that may be standing in the way and it’s the fear of failure. So today we are going to be addressing, ‘How to overcome the fear of failure.’ ‘How to overcome the fear of failure’

I have my husband here because he’s one person that I’ve seen grow. I have seen him start out many things. I’ve seen him start out God’s work and doing different things. I know that there may be some things that I didn’t even know and so I want to ask him a few questions. I’m going to share as well, some of the fears that I had starting out anything.

So, Ade, I’m going to be asking you.

When you were going into ministry – when you started overcomers, what were your greatest fears? What were some of the things – the fear that was holding you back before you actually stepped out to start overcomers?

Ade: Thank you for the opportunity to share with everyone, with your listeners and even from this good distance.

Thinking about the fears, I think the greatest fear then was just knowing that it was time to go out and do what God had put in my heart to do. I always had this desire to serve God with everything that I’ve got and I was always dreaming that I’d be a minister who’d also be a business person. So, when I began to sense that God wanted me to plant a church with you, one of the things that really scared me was just being sure that it was God that was speaking to me and also being sure that this thing God is telling me to do would actually come out the way he wanted me to do it. That was the biggest fear – just being very sure that this is God.

There were other ones. Maybe I should mention one of them.

Olu: Yeah. You can go ahead.

Ade: Another thing was that I didn’t know what to expect; who would be our congregation – the people we’d be ministering to?

Before then, I was already pastoring as an assistant pastor – a youth pastor in another church. So I was wondering, what would the church God was calling me to plant look like? Who are the people that’d be there? Who would believe that the Lord actually had spoken to me and what would the future or rather, the process look like? I knew what the future would look like but I wondered what the process would look like.

Olu: Thank you for sharing with us. From what you’re saying, I can imagine you are… I mean I know you so I know that you are that kind of a person who understands what God wants you to do and the bulk of the fear was more [if I know you very well] failing God than failing people.

Ade: Yes

Olu: But for somebody like me, one of the biggest fear that I’ve had is actually failing people. It’s interesting that some people have been like that – people actually matter to you much more than God.

I remember I used to read the story of Joseph and how he’d say, “How could I do such a thing before God.” I’d look at it and say, “Well, we’re always doing different things against God. It’s people that I won’t want to do things in front of them.” It’s just interesting that some of us may be like that – people’s opinions matter to you much more than God’s opinion. So, God may actually be telling you, do this and you feel like, “You know what? I don’t know what people are going to say.” I believe all of us have this subtle fear in there, that we don’t want to fail in front of people but this was my own major idea.

I remember when I was going to write my first book. One of the first things that would happen is that I’d sit down and plan it, beautify it, write and do all I could because I didn’t want it to come out and people would say, I’m a failure or I’m stupid. My major concern was, what would people think? And the performance keeps going in that direction. When I was going to start this podcast, that was another process again for me – I had to go through the same cycle again. You need to just realize that when God is actually telling you to do something, even though it may not look like anything serious, it doesn’t matter.

So, that was my own big fear which was how do I continue to prove to people that I’m not a stupid fellow? That was one fear that I had and it’s mainly around the fear of failure.

Did you want to add something to what I said?

Ade: I think in some things I had that fear too. For example the writing. That’s why you’d see that I’ve not written as many books as I could have. This is because I don’t have the same kind of assurance or clarity that I have when I want to do some other things. So for writing, I know that this book would be good to write or it’d be good to capture the message that God has given me so that people can access it. However, I know that it’s not my area of strength – I don’t have the kind of skill that I think I’m supposed to have. Then, what happens is that I don’t have the motivation to just jump in.

Olu: That’s true. That’s true!

Ade: So, things that I’m not so sure about, I don’t jump into it fast and I don’t do it. But when I have clarity about something, then I just go ahead.

So one thing I’m discovering from what you are saying is that maybe when someone is getting an instruction in an area where they are not too sure about, then there will be a lot of doubting…

Olu: That’s true.

Ade: …but once you are clear and you know that there is that strength there in that area, then it’s not as difficult.

Olu: Yeah! You’re right.

In another episode, we are going to talk about how to identify your strengths. I believe that it’s easier when you start with the giftings that God has actually given to you. Identifying some of the key things that God has given you. Also in another episode soon, we’re going to address that and see, how did I identify and recognize that 1,2,3 are the things that I have – that I can start with. God is definitely the one that’s going to guide each of us into it. It’s just making sure that fear doesn’t hold us back because there’s a way fear can make you sit down.

Now, a lot of times, all we do is we rationalize the fear, “Oh! It’s because this person has not given me this… Oh! Because I’m waiting for that…” but really if you dig deeper, you’d realize that it’s some version of a fear of failure. And we must get together the point where we overcome that.

Back to where we started from which is, “God is speaking to me, I hear what God is saying to me and then I have this fear.” We’ve been able to identify some of these fears that each of us had while we were going to start.

The question that I’d like to ask you next Ade is,

How did you overcome this fear – the fear of not wanting to fail God and being accurately sure that it’s God that’s speaking to you? How did you overcome them?

Ade: Well, the way that I did that was to spend more time in prayer and just continue to take my time listening. I didn’t jump into it for the first 1 or 2 months that the thoughts started coming in. I took my time, shared with you also and we waited for a while until I was kind of sure. So, I think that’s a major part of what we need to do – just fine-tuning our direction from God. Because this is going to change the way we do our lives and people’s lives are going to depend on some of the things we are going to be doing.

Another thing is that I went back to school to study and get a degree first in pastoral ministry, then a bachelor’s degree in theology and I kept on studying. I had already started the process and I still went on to get a masters’ degree. But, one of the things that I’d like to say is that in order to overcome some of those fears of failure, we need to get to understand that we have some strengths in that area. Even if you don’t have it, you can study. You can take a course to strengthen that area and you can also get mentors.

So what I did was this: I had mentors around me who were doing exactly the same thing and I talked to some other pastors who were doing something similar. Most importantly, I bought myself some biographies and I went on the internet and read a lot of biographies. I was always scouting for testimonies of pastors who started churches. I listened to a lot of video testimonies to strengthen my heart to know that I’m not the first person to do that.

Olu: Thank you very much.

As you were talking, I just remembered one of the fears that I used to have. The way it limited me a lot was that many times, I’d get something in my spirit that I’m supposed to be doing and I keep it to myself because the moment I share it with you… You know, you are the runner. The moment you know God has said it, you want to run and start doing while I’m still trying to figure it out. In my own way of still trying to not fail, I’m still trying to be careful.

I remember one day I told you, I said,

“I’m not going to share my ideas with you again because the moment I share them with you, you start running and I’m not ready yet. Take it easy with me…”

I think that one of the ways that I’ve overcome this fear is actually by sharing it with you. One of the ways we can all overcome fears is to share. You may need to find somebody trustworthy, somebody, that you can share your ideas with and they are not going to make you feel like you are stupid. It brings some kind of accountability. This should come after you’ve gone back over and over again to clarify with God and you’re saying, “Lord, is it really true that you want to do this?” When you’ve sensed that it’s going to be, you then begin to ask yourself or rather tell yourself that, I want to tell another person that I’m going to be accountable to. I find that this has helped me a lot.

When I was going to do this, it was actually an understanding and the fact that I was able to share with you [my husband], discuss with you then we began to go back and forth. When I was able to do my book, conference and other different things that I do, it was the same thing. I know it was what God is putting in my heart to do then I share it with you and some other people. It encourages me to know that my feet are out there now and I can’t go back anymore. And if there is some clarification that needs to still come, then I still go back and clarify with God but I share with another person.

Ade: Yeah. There are some things that I did then that helped me.

What I did was that I’d always imagine the future. I have that grace that God has given to me that allows me to see where the thing is going to. So, it pumps me up so to say. Every day till today, I can see how far the ministry will go, things that will happen and I dream about them. I visualize them – I can see them. They are clear to me even though they are not clear to the people around me but to me, I can see. While I’m in today, I’m eager to see tomorrow; I’m eager to see those things manifest. So, putting that in my mind every day got me to be so pumped up about the future that I now didn’t realize how dangerous what I was doing was. How big it was.

When I look back now, I’m amazed at the kind of risks we took. But I think how I wasn’t aware of how big the risks were, was that I was so conscious of how much God wanted to do it.

Olu: Amen!

Recently, I got this understanding, people (listeners),  that there are some people that have mastered the art of seeing the future. One of the reasons why I used to have the fear of sharing my ideas with my husband – not that I won’t share with you,  and you know this… it’s not that I won’t share with him but the questions that he’s going to be asking me are so strong and intellectual – all these things that I don’t want to think that way; I don’t want to go far in my thinking just yet. I want to just realize that it’s perfect for this moment and I move on. I realized that recently that it’s a great tool to have – a great skill – thing that each person needs to understand if you are going to actually follow purpose and go far. It’s not just about starting. It’s about starting with the end in mind – knowing where it’s going.

Now, you may not have the clear end in mind but you know where it’s going to and that’s why also we have one another. You have people around you that are not so careful about today. What they want to know is where is that going to lead to. I see that happen in marriages a lot. One spouse will come and bring this beautiful picture of what we should do and the other spouse is like, “Okay, where is that going to lead us?” And I find that many times, this even can cause a spouse to be limited because you feel as though the other person is always killing your ideas, limiting you or never agreeing with what you are saying… It’s very important that you know that God brought that person into your life to help you in some ways. Now, it might not be a spouse, it might be a brother, sister, a friend, a business partner or someone else. It’s very important that you pass the message across to them and just hear what they want to say. Then you go back to God and clarify some more. I just feel like I should add that to it.

Our time is far spent and I think I may still ask one last question,

“When you were going to start, where you extremely sure before you started? Where you certain and extremely sure that this is what God wants me to do or were there any doubts?”

Ade: I was more like 80% sure. I think with God, it’s always between 50-80% sure. If it’s less than 50%, I won’t even try it. But once it’s beyond 50% and I’m trying to push it away and it’s not going away. Rather it keeps coming back, I discuss with you and you don’t think it’s totally bizarre, wrong and ungodly. And, I share a bit of it with some other people in my spiritual circle. If they don’t think it’s strange, I keep on praying about it and it becomes stronger. Once I get to that 80%, I begin to move.

I don’t think it can be 100% because for it to be 100%, you’re trying to say that you can’t make any mistake. We are humans. I always like to leave that room that maybe I desire certain things and that’s why I’m thinking this way. And that’s why I always like to share a bit of anything I’m doing. I don’t share the whole picture with one person because sometimes, you don’t want to outrun – just leave it out there because you are not sure yet. I kind of give a hint to mentors, people that I respect their judgment, and people who have no clue about who I am so that they are not pushed or influenced in any way. I get those things filtered just to confirm that I’m not hearing strange things before I take that action.

Now, there are some important things I’d have loved us to discuss probably not in this episode because I didn’t do these things alone. You were there. Maybe it’s good for you to explore your own fears to some other time.

What were your fears following someone who seemed to be sure of what they were doing?

There’s one thing that I did and I think of it and it helps people. While I was thinking humongous things – thinking of the big future, I was also sure that we were going to start small. So, starting small helps you a lot not to be afraid of failure because if you fail small, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

I remember when we were going to rent the first place to have our first service, the fact was that both our own money that we were giving to God as tithe was enough to pay the rent and so, there’s little failure there. Seeing the face of people saying, “Oh! you started and you didn’t go ahead…”, that doesn’t bother me. The failure I was thinking of or rather that would have bothered me was; if we never took off.

Olu: Thank you very much. Thank you very much. You’re right and I think we’d definitely do an episode of what was it like for me following you – going along with you when you knew where God was leading you to. Definitely, we’d do that at another time.

Our time is far spent now but I’m going to ask you to please pray for our listeners. Maybe there’s someone there that God is already speaking to them and they are still scared of starting. Just speak into that, however, God is going to lead you.

Ade: Father, we thank you so much for this time and for everyone that has been listening to this episode of the podcast. I pray for those who at this time are beginning to hear you speak to them to do one thing or the other; for those who you are fine-tuning their lives and beginning to tell them to let go of certain things so they can focus on some other things and at this point, they are scared. They don’t know if it’s you speaking or if it’s going to work out the way they are thinking in their minds now. Lord, I pray for more clarity and boldness. I pray that you send people their way who will be able to speak into these areas of their lives and train in a way that would make them become more excellent at what they are doing.

I pray O God for great wisdom and great strength in the place of prayer. Great wisdom to know what to do, where to start and how to start. Lord, I ask for everyone who’s listening, no matter what their challenges are, I pray for victory and great grace. In Jesus name.

Both: Amen

Olu: Alright listeners, thank you very much. The question that I’m going to ask today is

“What about you? What’s the big challenge out there that you are trusting God to overcome for you?”

You can send your response in an email, via WhatsApp or as a comment here on the website, anyhow so we can know how we can be praying along with you. On olusobanjo.com, the e-book on Effective quiet time guide is still available for giveaway. If you know anyone that needs it, tell them to register on the website, put their name and email address and confirm. They’d get a confirmation email from me to confirm their subscription. Then they get the book. If you’ve not subscribed yet, go over to the website and subscribe.

Bye for now.

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Ep. 37 – Effective Quiet Time Guide: A Peek Into My Personal Practice

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Question: Do you have a quiet time routine? Yes or No? If yes, what specific difference has it made in your life? Leave me a comment below.

 

Ep. 37 Transcripts: Effective Quiet Time Guide: A Peek Into My Personal Practice

[Intro Beat]

Welcome again to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo and I’m very glad to be speaking with you again today. I’m doing this alone today because my husband is away so we are not able to do this together. But I’m sure it’s going to be a wonderful time so let’s get into it.

In this episode, I’m going to be showing you how to have an effective quiet time every day; how to get the most out of your time with God. I discovered that many people get frustrated the moment you start talking about having a quiet time; not because they don’t like to hear from God but due to the past experiences, struggles and failures in this area of their life. They feel stressed because they have no idea how to get the most out of their time with God. I can tell you that personally, I’ve also gone for a night vigil. I prayed all night asking God for strength to avoid taking this wrong step and the following day, I took the same step that I prayed all night against. Another reason why you need to do this well i.e. to have good quality, effective quiet time is that many times our agenda tends to pile up quickly. Before you know it, you’ve added so much again to your schedule and you’re running from pillar to post again. As much as you’re trying to declutter all the time, you still find yourself piling so much on top of yourself. But when you spend time to be with the Lord, He has a way of helping you remove things that are not supposed to be there. Then, you find the strength to say No again and you are able to get back on track. So it’s very important for us to spend time with God and it’s also very important that we make sure that it’s actually an effective quiet time that we are having and not just another chore.

How can I have an effective quiet time? How can I get the most out of my time with God?

In order to answer these questions, I have tried to categorize them under the Why, the When, the Where and the How.

So, let’s get into it.

The first point here which is the most important part of this idea is the Why. Why am I doing this? You see, God is your Father and He is the sovereign God – Creator of the heavens and the earth. He’s the one that knows why He brought you here. We’ve discussed this over and over again on this podcast but I believe we can’t overemphasize the fact that we need to hear from God. He can see. Someone said that “God is the one that has the bird eye view.” He’s looking down from heaven, He can see everyone and He knows why He brought everyone here. He also knows the full picture He’s trying to create on earth and He knows your own specific reason and what part you’re going to play in the whole agenda. So, we must spend the time to know all these.

If you know your Why and your Why is so important to you, you’ll gradually begin to see that distractions and other reasons why it’s hard to actually get this done, will start moving out of the way. That’s why the Why is very important and you must accept your Why. The reason why I’m saying you should do this is to know God’s purpose for your life. When you know His purpose for your life, you’ll live a fulfilled life every day and not just run the rat race.

Now, the next point that I have there is the When. If you’re asking when it’s likely that you have a lot of responsibilities already and you’re wondering what time of the day you have to add this to. Many times you wonder, “I’m so busy, where am I going to find another time to do all these that you’re asking me to do?” Well, you see, I’ve tried to study many great people over the years, including Christians and Non-Christians and I’ve noticed that successful people mostly have something in common. They reserve the first part of their day to focus, meditate or pray. The Lord Jesus Himself woke up early in the morning. The Bible talks about how He woke up early in the morning and went into the mountains and He prayed. When He was here, He was God but He knew He still needed to connect with God in order to achieve His purpose so He went out early in the morning and He did it. When you know your Why, you’re going to realize that you really need to put effort into making it work because it’s a higher priority in your life. That may mean having some bedtime routine. Some people have a shower, put their phones away 30 mins before, whatever it’s going to be. Some turn off the lights, wear something nice and fluffy… I even heard somebody say, he wears something not so comfortable to go to bed because, for him, he wants to wake up when it’s time to wake up and he doesn’t want to feel like, “Oh, it’s so cozy. I don’t want to wake up…” Whatever it’s going to mean for you, you may need to add that into your bedtime routine so that it’s a little easier for you when it’s time to wake up. You may need to have a serious discussion with members of your family especially somebody that may have the tendency of keeping you awake. You may be able to discuss with them and say, “At this point, I’d like to be doing this. Can you work with me? Can you help me to achieve this…” When you make it not just your priority and you are able to communicate it to the members of your family, it’d help you a great deal to be able to achieve what you’re trying to do. You may also need to find a way to learn how to say No to some time wasters that still keep you up late at night, whatever that is and gracefully start trying to sleep early.

However, when you have a little child, say you have a nursing child or you have a toddler around and they don’t have a routine yet, it may be a bit harder at this stage of your life. That’s okay. That’s why you may choose another convenient time of the day when you can have full attention; when you can focus fully on God. There was a time in my life that I used to do my quiet time in my car. I’d drop off the children at school and drive to my office. I won’t park right in front of the office rater, I’d park away from the office so that nobody would see me, greet me and wonder what I’m doing. I’d park far away and I’d spend some time to pray, worship and have my quiet time. When I’m done, I’d drive back closer to the office and walk in. I used to do this on the bus, in the conference room, at any time of the day. Whenever I’m able to have a little bit of privacy, I put it in. At least for you in this stage of your life, it’s a temporary thing. Gradually, you may be able to trust God for the next stage to be better. As this quiet time becomes effective, you will soon start having it great and the zeal to prioritize it will also increase. You may actually find some other time that you can rearrange in order to make it possible. So if you want to change, the best would be to set your alarm 30 mins to an hour each day, earlier than the time you usually woke up before. You go to bed early and wake up earlier. For me, it’s at 5 am and it works well. You should find the time that works for you.

The next one is the Where. I already talked a little bit about that in the When. The easiest place for you to be alone is what you are looking for at this point. A place with minimal interruption. If it means it’s in your room, closet, washroom, home office, car… wherever it’s going to be. Some people even mix it. There were times I’d actually mix it with my exercise in the morning. So, you’d actually get out of the house. My husband does this a lot. He goes out of the house to do his walk or run on the exercise machine and he mixes it but of course, not on a daily basis does he do that. Sometimes, you want to multitask. You can do that. You can even do it in the washroom. It’s also called multitasking people! Multitasking! Wherever it’s perfect for you is great.

The next and the main portion of this episode today is the How. The question is how do I get an effective quiet time? In order to get the most of your time with God, you need to focus on your heart. To get the most out of this session, out of this time alone with God, your heart needs to be right. The aim of this point is to dethrone yourself and to enthrone God. I’d say that again. The aim is to dethrone yourself and to enthrone God. The way to do this is that you’re going to clear your mind of any form of negativity – any wrong, anything that people have done wrong to you and that you do to somebody, any pain, frustrations, disappointment; whatever it is that is not good, pleasant, honorable, you remove it. Songs help here because what you are trying to do is you’re trying to dethrone yourself; you’re trying to make yourself come below God so worship songs will help you to remember that “I’m not the one in charge. I’ve to put God first. I forgive that person. I let go of that hurt because I want God to be the final say…” As you’re doing this, you’re coming boldly to the throne of Grace. You’re not coming in your own name. You’re coming in the name of Jesus. Now, remember the aim here is to enthrone the Father and this helps God to know that you really want to depend on Him and hear from Him. For me, this takes about 10-15 mins depending on where I’m at and of course, it can be more at other times depending on the stage that I’m at and issues that I’m dealing with. So, take your time and enjoy this stage of dethroning yourself and enthroning God.

The next stage of the How is the study stage. At this stage, it’s the point where I read and the main resource that I have here is the Bible. However, I use devotionals also. They are very useful but ultimately, what I want is to hear from God. I want to hear God speak to me. I want to look through the resources that God has made available to me. So, you may take the time to meditate on what He says after you’ve read a portion of the scriptures or a portion the devotional then a portion of the scriptures. This is not the time that I spend the time to read the whole chapter of the Bible but if that’s what you’re doing, that’s fine as well. You just want to focus on the fact that you want God to speak to you. Okay?

This is a very crucial time and God may just use any of these things to speak to you. If you’re just starting this out, don’t worry if you feel you’re not hearing God at the beginning. You’ll soon start noticing that the greatest part of the day is this part of your day. You’ll soon start to hear God talk to you, not just during your quiet; the aim is to have God talk to you all day. So, you start with the attitude of waiting on God to speak and then it doesn’t end there. It continues all day. Depending on the time that I have, sometimes I will even add a portion of whichever book I’m reading at the time. Also, depending on the time where I just need more – I need someone else’s opinion or idea, I bring the wisdom that God has given other people into my quiet time and then, I hear God and get it clearer. They come in very handy. It helps you to understand what God is saying to you. If there is no time, reading other books would be scheduled for later in the day.

The next portion of my time with God is the journal part. That’s the time that I write. This is very crucial because if I don’t write, my mind is not completely in it. When you are writing, you get more of your senses involved in what you’re doing. Personally, I have some questions that I’ve compiled for myself at this stage of my life that I actually use and I answer these question every single day. It helps to not just have to write aimlessly. These questions help me to focus and they help me to get the most out of my time with God. I’ll be sending these questions to everyone on my mailing list this week. It’s a very good tool and it may just be very useful to you. You may be able to take one or two things from it. So, if you’re not registered or rather signed up on my website, go to olusobanjo.com and fill the form providing your name and email address in the spaces provided. Between the next 2-3 weeks, everybody that signs up would get that in their mailbox. I didn’t create it. I got the information from different people and I’ve compiled it to work for me so you may need to add questions to it or subtract from it. But, I find that this really helps me at this stage in my life and questions like, What am I grateful for? What did I learn yesterday that I won’t want to forget? and several other different questions like that. So, you ask them. Usually, for me, it takes like 5-10 minutes, more on the 5 minutes area. Sometimes, I have a lot to do so I write a lot down. Generally, this will really help you to journal and you may even use some of the information that you write down for other projects in the future because it’s good to go back to what you’ve written. It’s a way to see your growth path.

The last portion of my time alone with God is the time when I pray. I spend more time to pray. I try to make sure that I have at least 15-20 minutes of the total time to pray. It may be more or a little less. That’s the time when I wait on God, I listen some more and I pray. This is another very crucial time. This is when I take the time to pray in the Holy Spirit. This is when I ask for specific prayer points. I’m able to pray for others at this point. I also wait to hear what God is saying to me. I allow the Holy Spirit to direct me. Like I said, I want this portion to be much so if it’s a day that I’m not pressed on time, I can even expand this portion a lot more. So that’s it. This is what I do.

Again, the first stage for the How is that you dethrone yourself and enthrone God. Then you study, journal and then you pray. And when you start trying this, I can assure you that no one would beg you to have your quiet time. Your days will be great even in the middle of a big challenge, you will know that you are not alone. Even when you are very scared, you will know that you are not alone. God will begin to give you the confidence and the strength you need for each day and for your purpose for life. So whether it’s knowing God’s plan and purpose in the area of knowing who to marry, what career path to take, which area of town to settle, or the extreme cases of whether or not you should quit your job and go to the mission field, you will begin to get clarity on what to do as you begin to have an effective quiet time with the Lord.

Alright! This is the point where I throw it back to you.

Do you have a quiet time routine? Yes or No? If yes, what specific difference has it made in your life?

Let’s pray.

Father, we just trust you that you’ll continue to guide us and help us. For everyone that is working hard to improve their time with you and get the most out of the time that is spent with you, Lord I ask that you will help them. I ask Holy Spirit that you will empower each person to get the most out of what they have with you in the name of Jesus. And if there are any other challenges that people have that I wasn’t able to address, Holy Spirit I trust that you will help them and you will address this in their heart, in the name of Jesus. I give you all the Glory and I pray that this week will be a fantastic week for everyone, in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Alright! Go back to the website olusobanjo.com and answer the question:

Do you have a quiet time routine? Yes or No? If yes, what specific difference has it made in your life?

Till next week, continue to enjoy God. I’ll talk to you again soon. Bye.

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Ep. 36 – Get Your Priorities Right – Daily Time With God

Get your priorities right

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

  • In order to clarify your purpose and know which steps to take, you must prioritize your daily time with God
  • Best way to get it done is to set your alarm 20-60minutes earlier than you normally wake up and pray
  • Just in case your schedule is tight, you may still schedule it for another time in the day, just do it.
  • Taking time out (2-3 days) to wait on God to speak is also very important. Fasting can help here as well.

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Episode 36 Transcripts: Get Your Priorities Right – Daily Time With God

Olu: Welcome again to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo and I have with me, Ade Sobanjo.

Ade: Hello!

Olu: Today we are very glad to be talking to you. Last week, we were talking about saying No and learning to say No in a good way in order to fulfill purpose or understand what God’s purpose is for your life. One of the points that we focused on last week was the idea of getting your priorities right.

This week, what we want to do is to lay emphasis on “How do you get your priorities right?”

It’s in the place of prayer. It is in the place of your quiet time, not just the prayer meeting at your church or one you attend at the church. Those, they add up too. However, for you to consistently hear God’s voice, you need to get real with God. You need to make your time alone with Him every day as a priority so that whenever you’re saying Yes to things, you’d know that this time is my time with God and I’m not going to give it out to somebody else.

We’ll go back and forth talking about our own experiences with quiet time, why it’s important and why you need to have one if you don’t have it right now or you have it sporadically, so you can start focusing on getting it done on a daily basis.

So, I’m going to hand it over to you.

Ade: Yes. You know, as you were talking, I was wondering: What are the experiences of people with quiet time and when we say quiet time, what comes to the mind of people?

Some don’t understand it. They don’t know what quiet time is. They’ll call it just a time that you will spend alone with God. Usually, people do that early in the morning. They study a portion of scripture, sing a few songs, wait on God to speak to them and say a prayer. And I think it’s very difficult to do. I personally have found it quite challenging way back when I started learning how to spend time with God. Now, it’s not as though I don’t like spending time with God but when you’re doing something exciting or when it’s exam periods in school or probably, you have a deadline, you begin to forget to do your quiet time or spend time with God. I want to say that this is very important because I’ve found that the major decisions I’ve made in my life were times when I spent quality time waiting on God.

So, it’s not just quiet time, even time for fasting and praying may be something that we should talk about today.

Olu: Yes! I think that over the years for me, it’s been a challenge depending on my schedule and all that I have on my plate.

I remember the time that I was in the university, it was easier. I’d just wake up and since I don’t have any responsibilities, I’d just take my Bible, play a CD and just worship and pray for one hour before I get up from my bed. Nobody is going to come knock on my door to do anything. But as I grew, it became a lot more challenging and then when I got married, it even became more challenging because we want to pray together; your schedule is different from mine; you’re a morning person and I like working in the night; my work schedule… Then the children started coming.

I remember the time that I was on maternity leave for a year. It was beautiful. It was easy for me to wake up at 6 in the morning and just spend one hour of prayer. I’m not rushing to work; I just take my time and that year was phenomenal. I just really loved the connection that I had with God. The real understanding that I got from God came from that time because I was focusing on God, understanding Him and I was able to even do extra time of fasting and prayers like you said. Then the school grind came into the picture… So, it’s a lot of changes that affect this and I remember there was a time in my life that I couldn’t do it in the morning because I sleep very late at night so I don’t want to wake up in the morning. We’ll still squeeze in time to pray together as a family but my own personal time would rather be sometime during the day or at night and in bed.

But I find that all these other times, there’s a lot of other things that are taking that time away from you. And I find that for this season of my life, waking up earlier has been a big help because then I’m able to understand what God is saying; I’m able to schedule time to be alone with God even before we have the family devotion, which all are important. It’s from that time of fellowship with God that other stronger things; stronger connection with God comes in.

But you brought in the aspect of even extra which is you get extra i.e. you do your one hour. In that one hour, what do you do?

In that one hour, I find myself sometimes worshipping at the beginning for like 5-10 minutes depending on where I’m at in my mind and in my walk. Sometimes, I’d actually get up and dance. Sometimes, I’d kneel down depending on whether I’m awake or alert or trying to get myself into it. Then I start reading maybe a devotional or a portion of the scriptures and then I think about it and as I’m thinking and meditating on it, I’m praying. So easily, one hour can go with practice.

For those that are starting out fresh; you’re seeing this as important from this episode and you’re saying, “You know what? I want to make up my mind”, one hour may be a stretch for you to even get to the point of fasting and praying for 3 days. I know that’s where you are going but at the beginning, you may want to just make up your mind to wake up 20 minutes earlier than you’d have or you normally will and just spend that 20 minutes to focus on hearing God. Take the scriptures, read it, meditate on it, pray it out. Ask questions like: How is this going to affect my life? How can I ask the Holy Spirit to help me to understand this? What else is God saying to me? What did God bring me here to do?

The more you start doing this, the more you get acquainted with it. Then, you write out. That engages your mind and shows that you’re serious about it. For those that are starting it out, it’s good to take time  20 minutes is not bad to start with but then you’d want to graduate it because you are enjoying it [if you’re enjoying it]. If you’re not enjoying it, reach out so we can talk about this. Leave a comment on the website or send me a message. Let’s see; maybe there’s something you need to be doing that you are not doing or a mindset change that needs to happen. We’d work through that but then gradually, you’ll start progressing until you get to an hour. From there, we can now come to the idea of spending extra time.

You want to say something?

Ade: Yes. As you were talking, I was thinking about somebody that is busy; the schedule is really tight but they have some time during the day. So maybe, they don’t have to do it first thing in the morning because that may be difficult…

Olu: [breaks in] That’s true.

Ade: [continues] So lunch break is a good place to do it if you can if you have the time and space.

Olu: Yes!

Ade: So we should just be focused first to make sure it happens. Put it in your schedule for the day. I think that’s where you start from. Just put it in your schedule for the day. Morning is better because it will direct your day. It will focus your day and that’s what you were saying. But, if you can’t even put it in the morning, put it somewhere and from there ask God to help you to put it in the morning and maybe it will take you to the next stage.

There are some people who know they can spend hours and they are only spending 10 minutes and they are wondering, “How come? Why is it that I’m not performing at the level at which I’m supposed to perform?” Those are the people that I’m saying to you; take time out. Take three days off. Have a retreat.

You may sleep throughout the first day of the retreat…

Olu: …because you needed the rest.

Ade: Yes! But at the retreat, you may come up with something. If you really want to know what your life is all about, you may need to take that whole three days off or one whole day off – one Saturday off to really focus. Ask those really deep questions like, “What will happen if I stop doing these things and just focus on this one?

Olu: You know, you’re very right.

I can’t remember but I saw a post or a quote earlier today or yesterday but I didn’t write it down. But it said something like,

“Our connection with God depends on Us.”

God is always ready. He is always waiting for us but we are the one that needs to make up and actually connect and say, “I mean this for real.” There are so many things that will fight for that time that you want to give to the Lord; that you want to use to understand what God is saying to you. But, If you don’t make up your mind and say “I really want to hear from God”, you’re not going to do it.

If you don’t say that… and I think that’s where I used to have the issue where I’ll say, “I’ll do it later. I’ll put it during the day…” It’s great, don’t get me wrong. It’s great that you will still get it done and at the stage, it’s good. But for those of us that you’ve done it before and you’ve seen the way it has affected your life, the point is you shouldn’t risk it.

I have a little thing that I wrote down and every morning, I actually read it. And part of it is, I’m committed to waking up at 5 am in the morning every day. The end of it is,  I am committed to going to bed at 9 pm every day but I’m not committed to that one. The one I’m committed to and I remind myself over and over again is the waking up at 5 am. When you commit yourself to this thing, God actually comes and helps you. When you say, “I want to do it”, then God begins to help you. That’s when God begins to give you the grace to understand Him more; to understand why He called you; to understand what to do that day… You’ll begin to see some extra grace that you have and you didn’t know was available for you.

So I want to encourage us, for those of us that are like me; We are all the same. There are other things that are keeping us awake at night. There are so many things that would try to fight for that time that you are giving to God but really you’re giving it to God so you can be blessed. It’s not like when you are giving a gift to me because when you’re giving a gift to me, you give it and it goes to me. That’s it. But this one hour, if you give it to God, you’re getting more; you’re getting the 23 hours that is left and you’re getting a lot more from it. So, start seeing it as very important. Start prioritizing it and God will give you the grace.

You can also talk to people around you so they can keep you accountable as well; so they can wake you up… I know sometimes when we wake up in the morning, my husband deliberately leaves his own phone in the room with the alarm still set so that I can wake up. But of course, I’m up already! So stop doing that. Take your phone with you. Don’t distract my quiet time.

[Both laugh]

Ade: It is a beautiful thing to be able to get your day started by prayer and meditating on what God wants for you in the day. So work at it. Aim at it and keep working at it until it works.

I want to also encourage the listeners that if you really want to go far in your purpose and fulfill destiny, you have to deliberately make time to find out more about what God has planned. I cannot tell you how important it is to do so. Now, so many things that we have done in our lives has been after a time of waiting on the Lord. I don’t think the fasting is 100% necessary but taking the time out is extremely important. Fasting makes it better. I’ve done times of 2-3 fasting.

How do you do that?

You take the time. You plan it. Go to a place – if you can do it at home, great! If you can’t, go to a place that is convenient and private [without distractions] and just do it. Plan the day. Plan your time to read scriptures, pray, rest, meditate on the Word and think about your life. Write down things. Ask yourself tough questions and answers them. While you are doing that, God will speak to you. That’s what we do every morning; How was yesterday? What did I do wrong? What will I do today? What are the 5 things that I must accomplish today? Write them down before you come out of that quiet time.

The more we do that, the more effective we become in our day and in our lives.

Olu: Alright! On that note, we are going to wrap it up today. I’d like you to pray. You want to pray?

Ade: Yeah sure. Why not?

Father, we thank you for everyone that has been listening to us again this week. We’ve been focusing on spending time with you before we start our day and before we start our week and even sometimes before we start some important seasons in our lives. So, Lord, we pray for grace. For everyone who knows they need to really spend time with you but they’ve not been doing it, we pray that they will have the grace to do so. And for those who have been doing it haphazardly, we’d become more consistent. For those who have been consistent, I pray that the time will be really effective because I know we can take time out, spend it and really get nothing out of it. So, Lord, we pray for effective time with you this week and for the rest of our lives. In Jesus name.

Olu: Amen!!!

Alright, people, we’ll see you again. We’ll talk again next week. Continue to shine for Jesus and take time to listen to Him.

God bless you! Bye for now.

 

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Learn To Say No In Order To Say Yes To God’s Purpose For You

Learn To Say No In Order To Say Yes To God's Purpose For YouWe say way too many Yes’ each day, way too many yes’ that are meant to be Nos. In today’s episode of Like Jesus podcast, Ade and I share different personal experiences and tips to help you learn to say No in order to say yes to God’s purpose for you.

If you are not careful, you will never be able to fully become the real person you were created to be.  That’s why this episode today; on how to learn to say no; is extremely important and urgent.

Do you find it hard when you get requests like:

  • Will you pls go with me to my cousin-in-law’s birthday party?
  • Can you help me house sit my pets
  • Are you the area, can you give me a ride to the doctor’s office?
  • Will you sign up for Olu’s weekly purposeful living newsletter?

Of course, you should say YES to the last one there;-)

Really though, we need the help of the Holy Spirit to know when to say yes and when to say no.

How can you can you use your No’s well and appropriately? How do you avoid the guilt that comes from saying NO?

Nothing comes for free. When you say Yes to anything, you have actually said no to a few other things. In order to start living a fulfilled life, it’s important to learn to say no, that way you can easily say Yes to God’s purpose for you each day.

Here are some practical steps that will help you

  1. Understand your priorities
  2. Plan your week and your day so you have a rough idea of what else you can add to your schedule.
  3. Make up your mind to be present and committed to any yes ( not half online/offline)
  4. Be Firm. Don’t say maybe later, not right now, I am not sure, when you mean to say no
  5. Buy yourself some time
  6. Be polite about it. Use the Yes, No, Yes Concept.

Listen to the podcast today.

Question: What other ideas have helped you say No in order to say Yes to God? Leave a comment below

Subscribe on: iTunes, Google Play Music, RSS

Listen now:

Episode 35 Transcript Below : Learn To Say No In Order To Say Yes To God’s Purpose For You 

Olu: Thanks for joining us again for Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo and Ade Sobanjo is here too.

Ade: Hello!

Olu: Alright. Today we want to appreciate every one of you that have been listening and thank you all for the feedbacks. It’s always great to get feedbacks from everyone. On this podcast, one of the main things we are trying to do is to get you to focus on the plan that God has for your life. Last week, the comments that I got made me to see that God is at work with this and God is at work with you so thank you! Thank you for all the comments. Keep them coming. It helps to know the challenges that you are having and we pray about this. We pray for you because we want to see you move to the next level in your walk with God.

So today, what we are going to be discussing is very vital and it is saying “Learning to say No!!!” I know that this is a major thing in the mind of many people and up till today for me, it’s still a major topic because, for any Yes that you say, you’ve said No to something else. So, if I say Yes to doing Sunday School at church, baking for my kid’s school, or going to mow the lawn in my neighbor’s house, I’ve said No to a few things. It could be hanging out with the children or another meeting I’m supposed to be at. For every Yes that you say, there is a No that is accompanying it. So, today we want to focus on the fact that if you are going to really pursue purpose; if you’re going to take time to actually listen to what God is saying in your life, you’re going to have to actually learn to say No!

For me personally, this has been a big challenge and my husband right here has been the one that has been my coach in the area of learning to say No because it hurts on my inside when I say No. I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing; I feel guilty especially for those supposedly great and amazing ideas that you say No to. Like when somebody says “Help me do this”, “Carry my children. Drop them off”, I feel bad saying No but then I have other responsibilities. So I’ve brought him. He’s here – He’s a pro who’s been doing this for many years and we have a few points that we are going to just look through. Before we go through the point, I’m sure he has something as an intro to share as well.

Ade: Yes, I think this is a very wonderful topic you have chosen. For anyone that wants to do something, you have to learn to say No to the other things. I find that as one focuses more – as you become better at the things that you are doing, you have to really say more No and just a fewer Yes so that you can really become an expert in the one you are doing well at.

Olu: That’s true! That’s very true!

And that brings us to the first point that we have on the list here which is Understand your priorities. Your priorities is a very major thing and this is where I got it wrong for many years. I was at the point where “everything is great”. That was the place that I was. You know, I just look at it and just see the reward, benefits or the way it is going to sound to people that are around me. That was what determines whether I say Yes or No to something. I didn’t understand this concept of priority because everything sounds really good. It depends on who sells their message well to me and so I may run errands, carry all my children and do all these things. I’m always running from pillar to post as they say because of the fact that the priorities wasn’t clearly understood for me.

I think you’d like to or maybe you should say something.

Ade: Yes. I remember when we started the church and we had so many things to do. I’d be thinking of giving some of these things out to others and you wanted to do everything because it all looked good. You could do them and I think that’s the challenge for many of our listeners. We are multi-talented and can do so many things but we have just the same number of hours in a day and so, we are surely not going to do everything.

Olu: That’s true!

Ade: And so, really knowing what your priority is, is very important. Knowing what the endgame is; What am I trying to get at? What do I really need to do? What is it that when I accomplish at the end of the day, I will feel really fulfilled? It is a good thing to ask one’s self at the beginning of the day, every day. Just to know, What is that big thing for me?

Olu: And I actually think that ties in well with the theme of this podcast series because the more you understand God’s purpose for you, the more you know what your priorities are. So it’s very important, that is why we are doing this podcast. We want you to actually take time to be able to listen to God and know exactly what it is so that you don’t jump that every flamboyant or extravagant idea that flies around you. You know exactly what God is calling you to do, and you start doing that. That aligns or adjusts your mind in such a way that you’re able to pick, “Does this fit into what is calling me to do?” Now, there are times that you are going to do something else that doesn’t fit in but it will still be God leading you.

So we’d move on to the next point.

The next point is, Plan your day or your week in advance so you have an idea of the extra time that you have for helping other people. Usually what happens is, a lot of demands come from people that need your help; that want you to do one thing or the other, which is great. You have the gifting, they need it and you help them. It may even be in line with your priorities. But then, if you don’t plan the main things in advance so you know you have a deadline at work this week, soccer practice for the children, fixing your hair, or going for an event, you already block out important things. This could be physically done; it’s better when you actually do it on paper, your computer or phone and then you can see the extra time that is left. Some other people do it in their minds, mentally. It’s great to do that also if you don’t have so much going on but the more you start using your brain cells to calculate how much time you have then it becomes overwhelming again. So it’s better when you write it down and it’s very important to plan in advance so you’d know exactly what extra time to have.

Ade: As you were speaking, I was thinking about the fact that people can even plan their week ahead but load it up with a lot of irrelevance.

Olu: It’s true. That’s true.

Ade: It’s not that those things are not useful but they are not going to get you to where you want to go to at the end of the day. So even in planning your week, you need to keep asking yourself that question, “What is the big game? What is it that I’m really looking to achieve at the end of the day?”

I’m thinking that maybe an example would help. For us, we are pastors and for me in a day, my goal is to impact lives and to build the platform that God has given to us to reach out to people which is to build the church – build the leaders. As we build the leaders, then we can reach more people. So when I’m planning my day, I like to put in things that will help the church move forward. Once I’ve planned those things and other things come up that I didn’t plan for, if I check them and they actually help me move the church forward, I cancel some things that are on the list and do those. But, if they won’t, I will find a way to schedule those things for another time. So that’s it.

Olu: Yeah, I remember we used to fight a lot about this because then I’d be thinking, “This is a good idea! We should do this”, but because I didn’t have an idea of what was the “behind the scene” decision-making process for him, I’ll be planning all these great ideas saying, “This will be great to do too.” But I remember a couple of years ago, maybe 2 or 3 years, that God used the story of the colt that Jesus rode on into Jerusalem to speak that lesson – message to me and it was a big eye-opening experience for me. God said to me,

“You see that colt? The owner tied it there just in case the Master may need it.”

It just occurred to me that I don’t need to plan my day and cram it with all sorts of things. I plan every single thing. I don’t know, maybe some of you listening are like me; every resource must be accounted for, everything must be planned including every minute. And I kept trying to quickly achieve things under few minutes until God began to say to me, “You are gonna have to relax. Just relax. Don’t plan anything. Plan the free time of not doing anything so that I can speak to you, so I can help you.” And so, I think that what you shared is very important.

And the next point that I have here is Make up your mind to be present in whatever you are doing. Now this is a very interesting one in our present world because we can do a lot of things at the same time. I can be cooking, doing laundry, and doing some ride up, all at the same time. There’s a lot that we can be doing at once in one specific hour. It helps us because we get a lot of things done especially for mums. I know a lot of women, not just mums actually but women, would connect with this a lot more because there is so much on your plate that you need to handle. You still work, do chores, and all these things.

There’s a scripture that says, “Whatever you do, do it with the whole of your heart.” So when an offer comes and says, “Can you please do this for me?” Because of the fact that I don’t want to feel bad or want the person to feel bad, I say Yes to that. But in my head, what I’m thinking is, “Well, while I’m doing the laundry, I could also be doing that at the same time.” But what now happens is that my mind is not there because I’m splitting my mind [attention] between two activities at the same time. So I don’t do it exactly the way God would have loved it to be done. And maybe even God wants to speak if you had put your full attention. So, you won’t be able to get what God is saying and it’d just be your idea. If you are going to be committing to something, your Yes is valuable and they are not “Oh sure! I’d manage it with someone else.” Let it be for real “I will do it.” If you think about it that way, it will help you to decide what to say yes to and what not to say yes to.

Ade: Yes. That’s very important to really bring everything you’ve got into whatever you are doing. Now,  that’d happen if you make up your mind where you are going before the time; if you have a life goal, something you really want to achieve and you are doing it. For example, we are doing this podcast right and not doing anything else. Our minds are focused because it’s something important to us and I think that’s always the way it goes back to – knowing what you really want to accomplish so that when you’re doing those things, you put your whole heart to it. Now, if you’re doing something that’s not really related but it’s important then focusing on it will make you finish it quickly so you can get back to the things you really want to spend your time on. So yes! being present is very good

Olu: Thank you.

The next one there is being firm when you say yes or when you say No. I also had issues with this and I’m getting better at it also as I am learning to say yes in a good way and say no in a good way as well. The idea is that many times, because I don’t want to hurt the feelings of another person, I’d say “Well, maybe later. You know what? Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure.” All that is just delaying the No and postponing the hurt, if there’s going to be a hurt. Many times people actually understand if you know where you’re going. People actually understand. They are just looking for help and maybe if you are not able to help now, you may be able to help later but it’s good to have that at the back of your mind.

Ade: Yeah. As you were saying that I was wondering maybe some people are wondering how will they say No? For example, if your mother in law calls you and says “I’m at the airport, come pick me” How do you say No to that?

Olu: Well, you don’t say No to that. There are some things you actually can’t help. Actually, there was an incident that happened recently. I just bought a sewing machine and I’ll be talking about that on another podcast. For many years, I’ve thought I could sew but I never got to it. Recently, I got the sewing machine and I’m amazed. We are all amazed to see the dresses and things I’m able to do without formal training. This past weekend, we were going to have the women empowerment program – teaching them business skills. And somebody said to me, “We need aprons and Pastor Olu, you are going to do the aprons.” The first thing that came to my mind was “No! No!! No!!! That’s another job. I’d rather pay somebody else to do it or tell me how much it is, I’ll buy it.” But of course, she wants me to do it.  So I said “No. I can’t do it.” Later on, I realized I could have done it better. The better way to say No is to, first of all, appreciate the gesture and not push down the idea. More like you say Yes, No and Yes. The way I would have done it and I learned this from my Michael Hyatt, one great guy that I listen to. He was saying that if you are going to say No which is going to hurt somebody else, it is better to say

“Yes, wow. That’s a fantastic idea. However, based on the schedule that I have, I won’t be able to add that up. Maybe this other person will be able to do it or maybe we can find out where they sell it and we can buy it.”

That way, you’ve said Yes in a very neat way but you’ve not hurt the other person. Since that incident with the lady, I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve practiced a lot more now. I see that it’s actually easier when you appreciate the idea “Oh, I really appreciate the honor for offering for me to take your kids to school. However, I have this other engagement.” For the Mother-in-law, I don’t know if I’ll be able to find any excuse. She’s already at the Airport and I can’t do anything about it. Except if what I’m doing is very serious then I can say “Okay. Let me see if I can call somebody else to pick you because I have this that I’m doing and then I’ll meet you up at …” So, I think it’s challenging.

How would you do that?

Ade: You got it right. If it’s important, there’s no way. No mother-in-law will expect you to leave your job to come pick them at the airport unless they know that you’re self-employed. If you are self-employed and in a business meeting or doing something, you just say, “You know what? I’m in the middle of something very important…” She knows that she’s not gonna give you a job, so you can then say “You know what? I’m going to call a cab to come pick you up.”

Olu: But, it’s very interesting that you can actually feel like “Oh My God if I don’t do it now, it’s like everything is gonna… I will feel bad. She’s going to talk. Oh, you don’t know this woman. She’s gonna kill me…” All these mixed feelings but just relax. The more you understand what you are actually doing which is why it is important that you understand the purpose of your life and why God sent you here. The more you do that, the more people will start respecting you as well and they won’t be giving you babysitting jobs to do if they don’t have a choice. They’d start realizing that there are certain tasks they can’t just give you impromptu or not. They will just have to find someone else to fill in for them.

Now, the next one is: buy yourself time. You are very good at this. You’re the one that is my pro, leader in that so do you wanna tell us more on that?

Ade: Well, I think you’ve already said some things about that which is being polite. When someone asks you for something, you say, “Well, that’s good. I’ll get back to you later.” Or if it’s a text, what I do is that I leave it. Let it just rest for a while and let me rest. Let’s both think about it for a while. And sometimes, by the time I get back, they’d say, “Oh, don’t worry. We’ve fixed it.” Then that’s alright. I figure that I could not be seeing that text and I’m busy doing something right now so maybe I’m not seeing the text.

Olu: But you saw the text.

Ade: Yes.

[Both laugh]

Olu: The reason why we are laughing about this is because I used to really stress about this. When somebody texts me and says, I need this or do this or something like that, I will look at it and I’m like, “Oh My God, they know…” WhatsApp tells them you’ve read the message. So at first, I turned off the “read receipts” option on WhatsApp to prevent them from knowing I’ve read the message. Then somebody said to me the other day, “I sent you a message and I saw you come online but then you didn’t answer.” And I was like “Are they watching me or something?” But really, I think the point is that you become stronger because you actually… I am not a phone receiver. That’s not the job that I’m called here to do. Now, it’s not my official job and at the same time, it’s not my purpose on earth to receive calls or reply messages. Now if I respond to it immediately, fine. If I have something else keeping me from responding, fine.

The more you understand your purpose and that was my problem, the more you realize that you don’t have to jump at everything. You can give yourself and buy yourself time and the world is not gonna collapse.

You wanted to say something?

Ade: Yeah. Just before we wrap it up, I wanted to ask a question. What of the person that it’s not people giving them the job? They are the ones piling up. So, they watch a TV program and discover this is good and fantastic business idea and they start running with it. They dig a few calls then they stop. And because somebody came knocking on the door and is introducing a product to them. They are not buying that product but it gives them an idea of another person who has a great idea and they stop the hole they were digging and jump on the next program and they start running with that. And then another person comes or sends them an email and they start another race.

How do you deal with that?

Olu: How do you deal with that? No, you answer that.

[Both laugh]

Olu: You’re the Pro.

Ade: Well, it’s the same thing we’ve been talking about. As long as you don’t know what the big goal is; the end game; the call – what God has called you to do, you’re gonna find yourself do a lot of that. So when you find a person doing a lot of that, it’s because they don’t understand their purpose yet. The beauty of it is that you can actually do all of those tasks but you do them one at a time. Dig the first hole until it produces then stop. Then you can let it run before going to the next one. Meanwhile, focus on the one that you are doing, and when others come, you just write it down and keep doing the one that you were doing. That’s what I do. I just write down the ideas. Sometimes, people come and suggest things to me, thinking I’ve never thought of them. I just thank them and I move on to keep the focus.

Olu: Thank you very much for adding that to it. I think that it’s a very good place to wrap it up today. It’s very important that we remember that God sent us here for a purpose. We are not just waking up and going to bed every night for making extra money. We are here for a real purpose and it’s important that we have that at the back of our minds and it’s important that we attack life – engage life with that in mind.

So I’m gonna ask you to pray and close for the day

Ade: Father, we thank you so much for this time that we’ve had to discuss your Word and the life that you have given to us. We pray that everyone that’s listening to this that the grace and the strength to say to No to all distracting ideas and distracting demands in our lives, we receive!

Lord, most importantly, grant us clarity about what you really want us to do and what is most important now. For those who are still trying to find out what that is, I pray that even the one that they have right now on their hands, they can focus on until they get another instruction; a clearer instruction Father. Thank you.

We pray for all those who have needs in their lives – different kinds of needs, we pray for breakthroughs and answers to those prayers and good testimonies in Jesus name.

Both: Amen.

Olu: Alright. Thank you, everyone, for listening and see you again next week.

Don’t forget to go over to olusobanjo.com and leave a message. If you’ve not subscribed, put your name and email address in the form provided there and you will get a notification every Monday.

Go and listen to God. God bless you. Bye.

 

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Stop And Listen To God

Do you need to stop and listen to God? In this episode, Ade and I discuss 8 signs why it may be urgent and important for you to STOP and focus on what God is saying about you.Stop and listen to God

I believe that our frustration and stress, even the wars and relationship issues we have are rooted in our lack of vision, the lack of a clear path for our lives.

When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful. Proverbs 29:18

It’s sad though that we are not told to shut down everything until we hear God. You would think that education is the most important thing on earth, even in church. At least I didn’t get that notion myself as a Christian that it’s more important to hear what God is saying compared to going to school. For the first 18-20 years of life, everyone thought you to read, write, study, be adventurous, be confident, persevere and on. However, as important as these are, I believe that learning to hear God is more important.

Who are you? What were you sent here to do? Where are you now? Where is He taking you? Shot down, take the time to engage and listen!

Here are 9 signs that you REALLY need to Stop and Listen to God:

  1. You feel tired every day even in the morning.
  2. Your phone notifications determine what fills your day
  3. You always turn to social media for excitements
  4. You are constantly wishing for a better life
  5. You feel uninspired and disconnected
  6. You are not as lively as you used to be
  7. You are always rushing somewhere
  8. You can’t even remember your childhood dreams
  9. You feel there is more to life than what you have now.

Like Jesus podcast is my open letter to you, dear listener. As I share what God has done in me and is doing, I hope to inspire you to also engage this life of Christ and be all that you were designed to be. You may even be doing well, and still, need to stop and listen to God.

Olu

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Don’t Be Distracted From Your Purpose – What To Do When You Are

Warning: Don’t Get distracted from your purpose!

distracted photo
Photo by moppet65535

In this post, I want to focus on the fact that on your path to purpose there are so many distractions on your way.  You must watch out for them in order to keep moving forward in the right direction.

So I felt a tap on my back like I was being beckoned upon to wake up for an important discussion. And immediately I was wide awake. It was the Lord, calling me for a chat with Him. 

You see, I had been extremely busy, coupled with a bit of jet lag since we got back home. I enrolled in a school where I am doing some studies on how to improve some of my skills and how to organize the flow on my website. It has been an exciting added-help, to understand the way blogging works and how to flow it well with my life.

I’m sure you get it when I say life doesn’t stop for you. No, it doesn’t. And with my primary goals like being a slave of Christ, a great wife to my husband, a wonderful mom to my boys, a caring pastor and some other roles like a daughter,  sister, friend and a few more caps; things can get pretty busy. That’s why I have had to burn some midnight candles to make things work.

So on this particular day, as soon as I said goodbye to the boys and had breakfast with my hubby, it was obvious that I needed some extra hours of sleep and that’s what I did.

It was a refreshing sleep, for almost 3 hours I snoozed off. Sorry if you tried to reach me on phone at that time, my phone was far away from me.

Anyway, my darling Father was waiting right there, and at the right time, I felt like I was woken up to pray. As I did, I began to see that I was already getting attracted by some other exciting stuff that I had been discovering at school. I was already feeling like I should add more to the vision. I was already pushing my studies higher on my priority list. As I fellowshipped with God that day, I repented and was able to see how far I had gone.

As you work toward fulfilling God’s purpose, you must watch out for distractions because they will definitely come. Very good ideas will come as distractions while other obviously wrong ideas will hang around you as well.

How to discern you are distracted.

  • Is anything eroding your time with Jesus?
  • Do you sense that you are beginning to please people more than pleasing God?
  • What about your relationships (spouse, children). Do you feel the relationship with them is going to the back burner?
  • Did you suddenly notice a 2-hour block of time was just spent on social media (Facebook, YouTube….)
  • Have you ignored your plan to carry out a project by doing many other things that were not on the list because you don’t like the item on your list?
  • Is the buzz from your phone getting your mind distracted?

It’s a blessing to recognize that you are being distracted.

Steps To Take When You Are Distracted…

  1. Go back to Jesus. Schedule a time for Him daily and guard that time jealously.
  2. Read the vision He gave you over and over again
  3. Mend your relationships-give your family members your sincere love and attention and get them to be your accountability helpers as well.
  4. Put your phone on airplane mode or silence and put it far away from you.
  5. Shutdown social media or put it aside for blocks of time in your day.
  6. Trust the Holy Spirit to keep you in focus.

We were meant to live in close communion with our Lord. Learn to focus as you follow his examples by living a purposeful life daily.

I pray for you for the grace to focus.

Question: What are some other ways you deal with distractions? Leave a comment below:

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