Cherish Your Visions And Your Dreams

Cherish Your Visions And Your Dreams

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. Napoleon Hill

Recently I was approaching the end of the 4-year warranty I purchased when I bought my Mac. In order to at least make a claim on the warranty, I started to check to see if there was something wrong that I could bring the computer in for. Well, sad but good,  the computer seems to be a strong one. No issues. Though I still brought it in and got a new adaptor for free. Free advert for Apple, MacBook Air is really good. No complaints. I hope I get a check in the mail for saying this.

Anyway, while I was getting ready to bring my computer in, I had to update my backups and that’s when I discovered some old recordings of my boys playing when they were much younger. It was good to watch and listen. Even my son could hardly figure out what he was saying in the video because he was just learning to talk. But one thing is that they were both extremely carefree and excited in the video. I recommend that every parent make childhood videos of their children. They will love you for that and you can remind them to dream again if ever they start to become rusty.

Children have this amazing ability to dream. They don’t care whether it’s practical or possible they just dream. They don’t worry about what’s allowed or not.

However, As we grow older, the vision for our lives tends to diminish. We start to allow people and the community to influence what we believe is possible. And so many of us tend to discard dreams that could actually become a big thing.

Featured On CNN

I remember a particular day when I was really small, I was grinding some pepper on the millstone for my mom. And all of a sudden I got a flash, I saw myself on tv and I went to my dad and told him I was going to be featured in CNN someday. if you are reading to this and you work at CNN, you know what to do 😉

Though many times our dreams may not happen exactly as we saw it, you may just have had a glimpse into something similar to what’s in your future.

This past week I carried out a bit of a survey with about 10 of my Christian ladies, my friends, and sisters. The question was simple: what were some of the dreams you had when you were younger? Most importantly what you had as dreams when you were in your teenage years and early to late 20s? All of the ladies I interviewed had great dreams. They still believe the dream somehow but their realities are far from their dreams.

What about you? What are some of the dreams you had growing up or as a teenager? It’s very important that you start to dig up those dreams again. The truth is that when you think about it with adult eyes, it will look impossible.

For example, if you used to dream of feeding thousands every day, and right now you can barely pay your bills, you see it feels impossible. But let me tell you what I have discovered in following God’s purpose. I have discovered that the clearer your vision is the stronger your faith becomes. And you need faith to Pursue God’s purpose which then brings provision. I have met many people that think money is the reason why they are not pursuing purpose but really it’s not true. It’s not resources at all.

The reason you are not pursuing purpose is that you haven’t taken time to allow the dreams and plans that God has for you to settle in your spirit. And that’s where faith to pursue comes.

In order words, if you can’t dream, you can’t see, if you can’t see you can’t take actions and if you don’t take actions, consistent actions you won’t see the results.

You can not be waiting for an unknown date in the future. Is there something you can be starting to do now? Are there some people you need to start hanging out with? Book you need to read, other steps you need to take. Maybe even hire a coach to help you? Is there a program that you need to attend? Talking about which.

I remember when I was working as a financial advisor, I did that for almost 5 years. Little did I know that I had put my purpose on the back burner, I had begun to readjust my purpose to fit my role as a financial advisor. And that’s usually what happens to many, you had a dream, then for one reason or the other, you found yourself somewhere else, like a new career and then you just throw away your dreams and start to make the new career work. You just can’t see how your dream could make sense.

Other times it’s your stage of life that is the cage you will fight against. Because you are married now or have children, you can’t seem to try out your dream. As a responsible adult, you must be careful or you will lose your family budget for food. Yes, it’s true, but what I am talking about today is not even about spending lots of money yet, it’s more about trusting God to awaken the dreams you had.

You may need to create time to be alone with God. You may need to go back in time to where you used to dream. For me, I traveled back to Nigeria, where I used to get my dreams. Went back to my parents home, and that’s when many of my dreams came back. I got back to Canada from my vacation that year and had to quit my job to pursue God’s call for me. You may not need to quit your job like I did but you need to dig up your dreams.

Again the question is this? What is the dream you used to have when you were younger? Did someone burst your bubble?

Are there any possibilities that you may be able to start something now? I think maybe. Remember it’s not necessarily about starting big. It’s about having faith that God has called you, and then taking steps towards his purpose for you.

What did you want when you were younger? Have you started achieving some of them now? Can you start dreaming again?

I want to help. Leave me a comment below:

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Permission Granted! Embracing God’s Purpose Like Jesus #LJ060


Permission Granted embracing God's purpose like JesusPermission granted embracing God's purpose like Jesus

 

I recorded this episode in the car in the freezing weather and in the middle of the night. Why? My family and I are in transition at the moment more on the podcast… Sometimes we use comfort and stability to determine whether something is what God wants us to do or not.  And most of the times we are wrong.

Over the years I have seen God take me (and my family) through some strenuous experiences. And I have come to learn that whether rain or shine, extreme heat or extreme cold, God is there to always guide us into his plans for our lives.

This past week, God helped me clarify my vision better by giving me a punch phrase that goes like this:

“Permission Granted! embracing God’s purpose like Jesus”.

I created the 2 graphic designs above to represent the phrase. I want your input on which one you think is best in your own opinion. The first one or the second? I will really appreciate your input. Tell me in your comments below.

Permission Granted! I have discovered that many believers are stock, many find it really hard to embrace God’s purpose because they are waiting for human approval in one way or another. Personally, I know very many believers who are sure of God’s purpose in some areas of their lives but can’t move on. They won’t take steps, not necessarily because they don’t know what next to do, but because unconsciously they don’t think they have the permission to step into their calling, at least not just yet.

Can you imagine that there are some people in some places today suffering, there are homes that are being broken, some children going into drugs, there are some actually committing suicide. Why? because you have refused to embrace God’s plans for you. And you are there waiting for someone to give you the permission. Common! In Christ, we have been granted the permission to be like him. The world is crying, earnestly waiting for your manifestation as Christ follower.

Over the years I have seen that there are so many reasons why believers find it hard to embrace God’s Permission to be what they were designed to.

  1. Wrong choices in the past
  2. Past failures
  3. Opinions of important individuals like family members
  4. People’s general opinion
  5. Discomfort and Circumstances, the list goes on…

As a result of all these issues we tend to think ‘oh for sure it’s not yet time’ I still need a clearer word. It has to be perfect. What if you are wrong?

Announcement:

I want to specially invite you to an annual ladies conference that I do, it’s called Vessels of Grace Conference. Our Theme this year is Complete in Him. Date- May 4&5th, first weekend in May. Our ladies in ministry session starts at 1 pm till 3:30 and if you love this topic today you are in ministry. We will be talking about how to deal with insecurities in ministry. The main conference starts at 5 pm. I have many amazing speakers lined up for this event this year and you really do not want to miss it. Kingston Ontario is only about 3 hours drive from Toronto and Montréal, just about 2 hours from Ottawa. So if you have ever struggled with the idea of feeling inadequate in life as a woman or if you are ready to embrace God’s purpose for you as a woman, I want you to invest in being there. Sisters are coming from all over to be a part of this event, from Europe, America, Canada. This may just be the boost you need to step out in faith in God’s purpose for you. So go over now to Vesselsofgrace.net and register now.

Podcast continued…What if you are wrong about the fact that you need some extra approval. In short, following God requires faith. You need to believe that a connection to Christ is all that you need. He is the only one that can give you the permission you need and he did on the cross.

For many years I used to wait for approval from people. I used to gauge my actions based on whether people applauded or not. I used to desire strongly to gain people’s recognition. But boy was I wrong.

It was only when I realized that I already got the permission of Christ, that was when I began to step out in faith. I was no longer waiting for a qualification, I already had it. The truth is that we are actually not qualified by our own works and experiences, no. Our best is garbage to God. He said without me you can do nothing. Our righteousness is like filthy rags before him. But when Jesus saved you on the cross, he also set you free to be what you were originally created to be.

So here is the question, do you feel you have God’s permission to be what you were created to be? I want you to answer that? If yes, then what are you waiting for? If no, I went to put it to you that you may be wrong.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalms 139:23-24 NLT

I will love to hear from you. Leave me a comment below.

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My Vision By God’s Grace #LJ059

My vision by God's graceSo my hubby and I were talking this past week, I was telling him about the vision of a network I have for the future. For some reason, I thought he knew this part of me so well. However, it wasn’t as clear to him as it is to me.  And this made me realize that its one thing to know your vision, it’s another thing to be able to communicate your vision clearly for those around you to know it and be able to help you.

Though your vision is very clear in your own mind, it may look vague to people watching you. That’s when I realized that you, my listeners, may also not know clearly what my vision is. That why I decided to do an episode to share some of the things I see with you.

In my short life here on earth, I have met so many amazing people. I used to think I was the greatest of them all but I was wrong. I used to want to do it all but God has delivered me from this and has helped me to see that what he has given me is a platform. And that platform is to help other people.

A few years ago God opened my eyes to see that all the things I used to desire to do are things that I need to empower others to do. For those who know me, you know that I could easily be called an idea machine, as much as I believe I would still have some other work spring up, I have come to a conclusion with God that most of the ideas are for others.

So What’s My Vision?

To have a network or platform, like a TV network, where many can launch their God-given ideas. I love to ask people questions, I have developed a desire for learning from others and I believe that everyone was created for a purpose. Though now I have also realized that we can’t all be a starter. That some of us thrive better in complementing roles. For sure I believe that there is a thing that you will do that will not only pay you in physical rewards for your labour but that will also give your life a meaning. You feel fulfilled doing such things.

So What Do I See?

By God’s Grace, I see that God has called me to encourage believers to plug into His purpose for them. Jesus said we are Salt and light. The world awaits our manifestations. I have written 4 books in that direction.

  1. Living from the inside out.
  2. Empower by grace
  3. Weep no more: God has not forgotten you
  4. And Perfect love

In one way or another, these titles are talking about embracing God’s full life in order to be all He made you.

Also for the past 11 years, I have been leading an annual ladies conference in my church called Vessels of Grace conference. This has become a platform where vessels are discovered and used for the King. 3 years ago, God reminded me of the vision which is to empower other ladies to become all they were designed to be. And I am grateful to God for different women that are becoming stronger in their gifting while ministering during the 2 days conference.

I also really enjoyed my last 2 books, weep no more and perfect love because I asked some amazing people I know to co-author the book with me and if you have read the books, you can find them here.

So What’s My Impact Structure?

I believe that people that I work with usually fall into these three categories: engage, impact, outlast.

Engage level is where I am encouraging individuals to step out by faith in God’s purpose

Impact are those that are already living the life of constant Impact.

Outlast are those who have been living this life of consistent impact for at least 10 years straight,  they have engaged fully and are now entering the stage of structuring their system of impact to actually outlast them on Earth.

Going forward, I want to know how I can strengthen you in the area of purpose. How can I help you? What level are you in? Engage, impact, outlast?

I have a huge diagram of what God has called me to do and I will need your help in order to be able to get it done.

  • I need your prayers.
  • I need your comments.
  • I need your stories…

I have had some amazing on the like Jesus podcast, and I want more amazing people. So if you have an amazing story about the purpose that you will love to share, I will love to share your story with my people all over the world. Whether it falls in the engage, impact or outlast level, it doesn’t matter. Pls reach me at olu@olusobanjo.com

Do you have a story to share or a comment?

Please leave me a comment below:

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The Story of My Mountain in Kuje #LJ058

For more than 3 years; my family and I have been in a place called Kuje, near the Federal Capital Territory (Abuja), Nigeria. We came on a mission to plant a church. These time have been the best in the area of my growth and for my family, it’s been an amazing period.

We have experienced the greatest trials but also the biggest understanding of God as a family. Assuming I was in a meeting with God prior to the instructions to go to Nigeria, I would have adviced Him against it. I would have shown Him things that could go wrong, and I actually did back then but wasn’t able to change his mind 😉 However, looking back I am so grateful that God sent us here.

Almost 4 years later and the church family is growing here in Kuje. And now as we get ready to travel to go fellowship with our Church family in Canada for another season, it’s been such a busy time as well as emotional. One thing remains, that God has been the head of His church.

Abuja, The City Of Rocks

Anyway, to the story. You See, Abuja is a city of rocks, almost everywhere you turn you will likely see one. For a few months now I have noticed a mountain near our church. Each time I come into the church, I always look out through the window and God has used that mountain as a perfect illustration to me, many times.

One day I saw it and it reminded me of how faithful God is. I suddenly realized that my God is so huge as I gazed at the size of the mountain. Assuming someone with a small sized god met me, as soon as they see the size of my God they will tremble and I wouldn’t fear. However, I also realized that day that the mountain is small beside my God.

On another day, God opened my eyes to see that salvation by grace is like when suddenly you find yourself on top of the mountain without having to climb it, you were given a parachute and off you go to the top. We have been saved by grace through faith. We become his righteousness in Christ Jesus. While others are climbing (or trying to obey the law, you just work on staying connected, you enjoy your parachute. That way you can’t boast, you just want others to get this free parachute as well. You call others to the same grace.

Earlier today, as I got to church this Easter Sunday. It was also our last Sunday in the Kuje church for a little while. So much to get done in the service, lots of praying and structuring, water baptism and of course the normal Easter Sunday service. Everyone was waiting to hear God’s message from the senior pastor (my hubby).

Where is My Moutain?

I came into the Church and guess what? My mountain had disappeared. It was no longer there.

I looked out through the window, the same window like before. I didn’t find my mountain, it wasn’t there. I looked again, and again and again, and no it wasn’t there. What happened? Was it blasted, it can’t be. Then where is it?

Note that I am talking about a mountain, not a tree, a mountain is not something you need to find for too long, it’s big enough to be sighted from far away. But it wasn’t there.

So I kept looking. At this point, I was more curious and wanted an answer…so I kept wondering. Then I suddenly realized that my mountain was actually there. Yes, it was there hidden behind the thick fog. Then I remembered how bumpy my last flight was to Ibadan a week ago. The weather has been really foggy and that why my mountain seems lost. It was only covered up by the fog. It was there.

Wow! That was when I quickly brought out my phone to take a picture of the now invisible mountain.

I will add the picture to the corresponding post for you to see. In short, there is nothing to see in the picture. Nothing looks like a mountain in the picture. I hope to also find a picture of the same spot but with the mountain in it so you can see for yourself.

Anyway, as usual, God has a message for me in it. I had become so familiar with the mountain that I was so sure it will be there. I wrote a mini ebook on how to have an effective quiet time and I give it out free on my website. And in my opinion, you must get familiar with God and hang out with him daily. When you do, life becomes meaningful and exciting.

A note of warning, one day you will come to God and it will feel like He is not there. He will feel like your rock is gone. You feel like you are alone. It may even be what you are going through currently that is shielding you from seeing Him. Don’t worry! You are not alone. God is with you.

Hold on tightly to the previous experiences of Him that you have or hold on tightly to him by faith. If you don’t give up you will suddenly realize that your rock didn’t leave in the first place. Don’t be discouraged, have faith in Him. What was the last thing he said to you? Hold on the that. If there is an instruction go ahead and obey. He is there with you. Have faith in Him. He will show himself to you. He promised never to leave nor forsake you. Rest on him.

And take this from my brother/ my sister. You are not alone in this. I have felt like my God was away and I have also felt that my time alone with God some days are true.

Have you ever felt that God was not with you? How did you handle it? 

Please leave a comment below:

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Vacancy! You Are Urgently Needed with Folorunso Aliu #LJ057

Vacancy! You Are Urgently Needed with Folorunso AliuVacancy! You Are Urgently Needed. Here is the chat that I had with a dear brother, Folorunso Aliu. He is the Managing Director of one of Nigeria’s foremost ICT firms and also doubles as the Group Project Director for the parent company. He has been involved in some of the earliest transformational and innovative solutions in the Nigerian ICT landscape. Folorunso is a graduate of the Computer Science & Engineering department of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. He is also an alumnus of the prestigious Lagos Business School of the Pan Atlantic University where he obtained a Masters of Business Administration (MBA) degree. He is passionate about human capital development and volunteers frequently for mentoring and development activities of the Nigerian Youth.

He is also the co-author of a book titled Vacancy! You are urgently needed.

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VACANCY You Are Urgently Needed: BECOME HIGH IN DEMAND, EARN MORE AND ENRICH YOUR LIFE

Ep. 57 Transcripts: Vacancy! You Are Urgently Needed with Folorunso Aliu 

Olu:  Welcome everybody to Like-Jesus podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo, am very glad to have you join me again today. On the show, today I have someone that is so inspirational that you will be very glad to be listening to this episode today. His name is Folorunsho Aliu, he is the Managing Director of one of Nigeria’s foremost ICT firms and also doubles as the Group Project Director for the parent company. He has been involved in some of the earliest transformational and innovative solutions in the Nigerian ICT landscape. Folorunso is a graduate of the Computer Science & Engineering department of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. He is also an alumnus of the prestigious Lagos Business School of the Pan Atlantic University where he obtained a Masters of Business Administration (MBA) degree. He is passionate about human capital development and volunteers frequently for mentoring and development activities of the Nigerian Youth.

He is also the co-author of a book titled Vacancy You are urgently needed.

Now, this person is very dear to me, he is a brother to me and we call him ‘FLS’ that’s just an acronym of his name Folorunsho. On this episode, you’re gonna be hearing me call him ‘FLS’ and eh just to let you know. And want to welcome you FLS to the show, thank you so much for joining me today.

Folorunsho: Thank you very much pastor Olu and em welcome everybody.

Olu: Thank you. Just before the recording as we were just chatting,  you mentioned something that I quickly wrote down and I want to start with that. So just before we start talking about who you are and all that you mentioned something, you said “followers of today are the leaders of tomorrow that we need to prepare today” do you want to start with that? Tell us more about what you mean.

Folorunsho: Okay, thank you. I  would like to say that we tend to, as a people, we tend to do what I call ‘the either or story’ or we tend to speak more towards an either or. And what do I mean?  Today I would speak within my environment a little bit. We are focused so much on the people we call the leaders of today but some 20 years ago, the people that are in the position of leadership today were followers,  and no one paid attention to them and after a while, they emerged as leaders. More than three-quarter of them were not prepared for this position. So we get what we get. I’m more passionate about grooming and being deliberate about grooming tomorrow’s leaders. The leaders we have today; we already have them. We are in one way or the other forced to live with them or get them out.

However, we have a golden opportunity of working with the followers we have today. Ensuring that the values they have and the values they can create are the right ones; so that we create the tomorrow that we are all looking forward to. So it doesn’t become a nightmare as we have in many areas or in many places today. So I’m very passionate about the followers. Because at some points or the other, the follower tends to become the leader.

Olu: That’s true, that’s very true. I really…I told you guys it’s going to be very inspirational. You know, what we are talking about is so tied to what I have been doing with this podcast. And I find out that a lot of us as believers find it hard to…we tend to say a lot of things that we don’t do. Because personally for myself, I have been at that point,  I have been in the position where I have been just doing, I mean talking more than doing. And with this podcast, many other people that are listening to this can relate well with the topic of just realizing that maybe I have been waiting for approval, I have been waiting for somebody to say yes you can do it. Before I actually step-on to actually doing it. Despite the fact that I have Christ living on the inside of me.

And I really really enjoy the aspect you are bringing to the point of we need to pay attention to many of these people,  and these are the same people that I am reaching out to actually. You know that I am not…maybe they’ve been neglected like your word…they’ve been neglected and maybe they felt that they needed somebody to come and push them up before they can go up,  but then we are now reaching out to them. So i like to understand from where or just tell a little bit about you. Tell us a little bit about your background. How did you get to this point where you felt you needed to reach out to people in this category…followers of today…why did you think they were important.

Folorunsho: Okay, thank you. I think, well, for everyone in life, the seed of greatness was sown into you before you arrived earth. And it is in that seed of greatness that your life grows. The problem here is half the time most of us do not look at the seed for it to grow, we look at the trees in other peoples yards. And we measure ourselves that way.

Now why did i say that? I was born and brought up in what you might call a slum in Lagos and half the time nobody expects you to be anything. Infact, the truth is you were expected not to amount to anything. If you amounted to anything in life, it will shock people. But if you went the way of others it was expected. But someone believed in me. A lady by the name ‘Miss Aby Bucknor’ bless her soul she’s gone to be with the Lord right now. She believed in me. My father died when i was quite young when I was just 12, I think. And the first boy of 5 children. The environment was just all stacked up against you. The odds were really stacked against you. I could have gone ahead to be one of many things. In my class where people who eventually died as armed rubbers, in my class girls of 13, 14, 15 were parents.

It was so bad but someone believed in me and said ‘you know what how do you do in school?’. And I said ‘oh’… she saw my results and said you know what ‘I will get you a scholarship’. And that changed everything for me because now, my intention was drawn from being bad to ensuring that I kept the scholarship. And my mum went through a lot. And that also gave me something else to look forward to, ensuring that I helped this lady who was going through so much alone taking care of kids, I mean, these children on her own. And it was out of that that the need to look at the young children or the young ones generated because someone paid attention to me, someone felt I didn’t need to go the way of others.

So today for me, my mantra, my thought is always perhaps it would change one man. Perhaps you will be able to change the life of one young man or one young lady who would go on to change the world. So for me, i believe that if I had been left within the environment on my own without someone believing in me, I could have failed. For all you know, I could be a thief or the worst. You know I probably would have had a child at 14, 15 or maybe 16. I probably would have gone into so many horrible things. So, I believe in the young people. And I don’t believe that anyone is bad. I believe there is a seed of greatness in every man. It takes the right atmosphere, takes the right person to put it out and plant it properly. That seed would grow.

Olu: Wow, this is really big. I’ve known you but I didn’t know this story. And it’s really good to learn this about you and to actually see that it’s actually possible for anyone. Thank you so much for sharing that. And uhm yeah, let’s… there are so many angles that I can take this to. Now you just…brought us to a place where…, we’ve been talking about habits on my podcast for this month am looking at habits and…you brought it now to a place where am going to you know just divert a little bit from habits and just go in the area of the environment. I was looking through your book and I noticed that there is something that you and your co-author coined out a word and called it ‘Blamisitis’. Like a disease that people have and in an environment where things are not working for them the way it should be or compared to other people. And you coin that word and that disease as something that afflicts a lot of people.

Now I would like to…and you know coming from a place where you actually have been in that situation. Maybe…, I don’t know…, how do you merge those two points together?  The environment that you are in… Somebody may be listening right now and saying ‘yea you know it’s because of the fact that you found somebody that helped you out that’s why you are able to talk like this’. How do you help somebody else that maybe might not have had the same opportunity of getting a scholarship and what not? How do you merge that together?

Folorunsho: Okay! For me, I would say the first thing is this: The greatest cheerleader we all have is our maker. The first thing is that sometimes, as people we get it twisted. We were not created here, then God gave us an assignment. God had first an assignment and he was looking for the solution. And he said, ‘if I make this or fashion out this being, he will be well soothed to solve this particular problem for the earth’. So God went into His workshop if you read Psalms 138 or so 139. God went into the workshop and started drawing us out, He started saying he will be this big, he will be this small. The eyes will be this bulgy or maybe something. He will be born in a place called Nigeria, no not just Nigeria. He will be born in the south-west. He would be born into a family where the father may not be home all the time. He would go through this set of pains. He would understand the pains that people go through when eventually the has become. We are specifically brought up to solve a particular problem in this world.

So just like God told the devil then, have you seen my servant Job? The same way God is cheering us on today, every single being He has created. And He keeps telling everyone who cares to listen, that; have you seen my son this, have you seen my daughter, this. Wait till he becomes. He was placed in the midst of the slum so that he will understand how it is to solve the problem of slums globally. So when he goes out he is not speaking from head knowledge, he is speaking from what he has gone through.

Remember, Christ came into the world to go through what all of us would eventually go through. So we can know that we have a high priest who went through the same set of infirmities we went. So we can tell him that God, How come you did not sin? And He will tell us how He went through it. Same way, God is saying I left you there so that you can become. The problem is; like I said, we do not look at the becoming, we look at those who have become and leave our own becoming. And the problem we are supposed to solve for the entire earth remains. And guess what? We complain like every other person.

So God is busy, rooting for us even in our refusing to become and He is saying you know what? Have you seen my son John, have you seen my daughter Eva? Have you seen my son, Tolu, Have you seen my daughter? wait for what she will be. So we don’t need any man as it were to urge us on, because the God of heaven and earth has put so many resources in us and He is saying just become and see what the world will be because you will be the solution to the entire problem. Imagine how important you are as a person when the God of the heavens and the earth decided to let go of his powers in you. When He is gone ahead to delegate the rulership when He has gone ahead to delegate the solutioning of this earth in your hands. You are more than important.

So even if no-one roots for you, know that the Father in heaven is daily rooting for you, because He’s poured in the entire requirements in you. He just wants you to become. I remember, if I am not wrong, I think it’s in 2 Peter 1:3 when he says, According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue.

We were called, we have been called. We would not be called, we have already been called. Because before we were born, He had already called us. And he gave us everything already that pertains to life and He’s called us to glory and virtue. So what that means is this, that whatever it is that you are going through right now your calling is going to end in glory and virtue, but it is dependent on your knowledge of Him that has called you. So we need to put seeking him, and I am not just saying Christian seeking, I am saying, seeking out what He wants us to do, its not just going to be a magical thing, It’s not going to be an “Abracadabra” like the whole world wants it to be. As long as we seek him, we will keep becoming, because He is rooting for us.

Olu: Wow, Thank you, Now, there is one part of the scriptures that I read this morning, In Isaiah chapter 14, and it was talking about the fact that, its easy, for you to complain. The way I saw it is that you can be going through something right now and all you can think of is just to complain; complaints, complaints, and complaints. But really, when you actually embrace the God of the universe…and as we were discussing today in my family devotion, we were talking about how, if you just bring God into the situation, you’re bringing the supernatural into the natural and you are actually able to see supernatural happening on you behalf. But the sad thing about life and even about Christians is that, we know so much how to talk the talk, but we are not so good at doing it. We actually forget about what we know as soon as trouble comes and before you know it…, that songs always comes to mind “ oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer”

And so I would like you to take us to the aspect of…I want you to join this now to the title of your book. I remember when I first this book, the word Vacancy, (I think it was when you were still trying to get the cover made) that I was curious, I was like ok is that like a job preparation book, you know like something you need to read to get a good job? Or a book that will help you master interview questions, Knowing the kind of work you do I was thinking that it was going to go in that line, you know;  You are urgently needed and…but its way more than that. As I have read the book, I realized that its actually a very good book that everyone need to find a way to get it in their hands. Thankfully its on Amazon, anyone can get it.

But I will like you to tell us a little bit more about what you meant by Vacancy, you are urgently needed. I know this is the same thing you have been talking about on this episode but do you want to zero it down on the book.

Folorunsho: Thank you. Its a long one, but I will try to make it as short as I possibly can. You know in my position I get lots of requests for placements, you know people who want to get jobs and all that. Kindly help my brothers, help my sister, help my son, or my daughter. And I could only take in so much. So Many people at once. So I have the tight job of always helping people get placements. but you can only do that for so long. But I did a project that was quite large and I was excited to find out that I had vacancy for a hundred and nine Engineers to fill, so I was excited. So finally I would be able to do something great in one shot… That will be great, that will be easy….so I thought.  So I went around to recruit young Engineers and it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. I eventually lost the opportunity because I couldn’t flll the vacancy as quickly as I thought I would be able to.

The second thing was like I got a few friends together who were entrepreneurs and it was all sorts of complaints about how they were looking for hands and they couldn’t get people on board. And then I asked people who were looking for jobs and there were people who were looking for people to fill the vacancy and I started noticing that there was a problem of employability. So that problem became bigger, I started speaking more with Entrpreneur, those who had their businesses, even organizations, and I realized that they were laying off people and these same organizations were also trying to recruit new people. So it wasn’t just that people were looking for jobs, but that they were laying off people as well. Then came the Nigerian government issue of ‘oh we needed to solve problems in this area and that area and the average Nigerian would complain there weren’t opportunities, meanwhile other people would come in from all over the world, seize some of these opportunities and begin to make money. Most of our Telecoms companies in Nigeria today are being run by people from different parts of the world.

So it became an issue for me when I started seeing that all over the nation there were vacancies but there weren’t the right set of people to fill the vacancies. We have people but we didn’t have the right human resource. Now, these does not mean that the people were not nice or good or whatever, but didn’t have what it took at the time to fill the vacancies available. And then we realized this was even much bigger than people trying to earn a living. In the homes, we realized that husbands had vacancies in their minds, but the wives were not filling the vacancies, hence we have lots of fights in the home. We find 2 people who are so much in love with each other and are on the brink of divorce because there was so much vacancy in the homes that the other wasn’t able to fill. The wife is seeking attention, she wants to be loved, vacancy in her heart. Her husband is just not filling it. its either that he doesn’t even know about it or doesn’t have the right mind set to fill the vacancy.

So we realized that there was vacancies all around us and people just were not filling it, even though they wanted a job, even though they wanted to be the one in charge but they were not filling it. So we realized that people were seeking vacancies of seats in the offices. But there were also vacancies in the land that people needed to step into and fill. In Nigeria today you have lots of people who are living below the poverty line. We need people to step in and get people out of this. There are new jobs that have not been created yet, new ideas, that have not been brought forth yet, that someone needs to create and then you fill the vacancies. That way we ‘ll complain less and do more.

But if the mindset is not there to seek out vacancies, and actively try to fill those those vacancies, we will keep complaining while others will see those opportunities, they would come in and the same people complaining would all contribute to make them rich. So the book is all about seeking, actively seeking out vacancies all around you, and positioning yourself in terms of your mindset and what you can actually do to fill the vacancy. But If you are not even looking for vacancy in the first place, and I mean actively, or if you are not seeking this vacancies out, you pass by them everyday, you trudge by them everyday, you have them even in your homes, you have them all around you and yet you sit down complaining. Thats what the book is about.

Olu: Amazing, anywhere you are in the world you are listening from, I personally want to say this book is one that you must find a way to get into your hands. I got mine on kindle on Amazon. And If you are in Nigeria, I will show you how you can get it. I will put a link to how you can get it if you are in Nigeria. But for those of you outside of Nigeria and all that, I am also going to put a link to the book on the corresponding post for this on my website(above). So you must get a hold of this book. And you must just have a way of reading it. cos its a very good book.

I know, FLS that you are such a busy person, very busy person and I really appreciate all the work that you ve been doing. Definitely, it looks like we have done a lot today but we are just scratching the surface. And so I know that we are definitely… I will really be glad if we can have another sessional at a later date. it doesn’t have to be now, I know how busy you are, but I really appreciate the time that it took you to make this possible. And not only that, FLS was a part of a program that my husband and I actually working on in Kuje, a part of Nigeria, called the Young Influencers Bootcamp. And that was phenomenal last week when he came to speak with the youths, to just encourage them to be the best and find opportunities and solve problems and that was just awesome. At some point I will also release the audio that we recorded from that event.

Alright, in conclusion I would like to ask you, I don’t know if there is something you are working on right now, or if there is something that you possibly want to tell us a little bit more about where to get the book, I am going to put the amazon link here. But if there is a way…, and different group coaching, anything that you want people to know about, I ‘ld like you to talk about that and then from there we can wrap it up and close in prayers.

Folorunsho: Oh thank you so much, this is a good opportunity and I appreciate it. I believe a lot in leadership, right now I am writing a book on leadership. I call is the book Leadership Conundrum and thats… I am looking at it specifically from the Nigerian perspective on how we are where we are, but more importantly; what can you do to start getting out of where we are, you know positioning not just for tomorrow but starting from today. What future do you want to see and how can we actively work towards gaining that future tomorrow. So I am writing that book and believing God that it will be out soon.

The second thing is I do a lot of strategy sessions, because I see a lot of organizations and SMEs, they struggle a lot within the environment, especially in the Nigerian environment, which is what I know anyway, I know about the Nigerian business environment. And I try to work with them to ensure that we grow businesses to where it should be, cos most people actually have their business cut short because of basic information they don’t have and because of mindset and there is a lot of religion that people bring into business and because of that they destroy the business without realizing that is based on what they have done or not done right. So I work with a lot of SMEs to help manage the business. I also believe a lot in working with young people because they are the followers of today, whether we like it, leadership will fall on them whether we plan for it or not.

So I believe a lot in values, I believe a lot in the creative abilities of people. If you have the creative abilities you also have destructive abilities because destruction is a form of creation. So it is looking for ways to work with young people to ensure that we dampen the destructive ability and enhance the creative abilities of our young people to create values. So those are the things I love to do. I love farming and building. Those are the things I love to do in my spare time.

Olu: Thank you very much for telling us more about….

Folorunso: One more thing, about the book, you can get the book in Nigeria; in Lagos, Lantana Ventures, you can get it from Abuja, you can get it from different bookshops in Abuja, Peculiar book store in Wuse II, …Barbie book store…different books stores in abuja and Lagos and online as you said on Amazon. Thank you.

Olu: I am sure my listeners are thinking that I should schedule another appointment with you. and definitely we are going to do that. But just to wrap this up today, I really want to say thank you so much, and I will like you to please pray for the listener, just to wrap this up.

Folorunso: Shall we pray? Divine Father we thank you. For the opportunity to be alive, and to be well. That is the greatest testimony that you are still rooting for us. We ask oh Lord that your rooting in heaven will get into our hears and into our hearts to buffer us, oh Lord God, to know that that is all we need to become and in becoming we get to know you better and the world, in turn, gets to know us. And we will find our fame, our fortunes, and our peace in our becoming that or whom you have called us to become.

Help us to hear you daily even in the midst of the noise all around us, even in the midst of the noise of hunger, the noise of fear, the noise of desperation, the noise of the world telling us we are not good enough, we are not beautiful enough, we are not strong enough, we are useless, all through the noise. Father, help us to dampen those noise and let your rooting, let your encouragement, keep our heart strong and right. And let our hears be open to hear you encouraging us and leading us to be and become. Anyone going through pain right now Father, I ask for your mercy. Anyone going through a tough time right now, I asked oh Lord God that your presence be made strong and manifest.  And Lord for everyone that has been battered at this time I ask that your suiting balm will come through for them. and above all let us become, that your name may be glorified and that peace, fame, and fortune be ours in Jesus name. Amen.

Olu: Amen. Once again I want to say that you for being here. And God bless you.

Folorunsho: Thank you so much, I do appreciate it, Do have a great week.

Olu: Thank you, you as well.

                                                                                            

Do you have a comment or question for my guest? Pls leave a comment below:

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Make It Real by Demi & Dami Sobanjo

Make It Real by Demi & Dami Sobanjo

I am so excited today😁 March 17 (today) is the 1st year anniversary of Like Jesus podcast by Olu Sobanjo. I am so grateful to God for grace and for all He has taught me along the way.

Thanks to you too for your support and help this past one year.

Above all, I am so grateful for my family, they have made this possible. I can’t count the number of times my hubby and boys have asked or reminded me to go do my recording. And shhh! mommy is doing a recording 😁

To celebrate and start a new thing, the boys created their first solo video. Demi composed the song and Damilola helped to edit and we all made it real.

So grateful to God for these boys and my darling hubby; my podcasting crew.

Enjoy!

 

Btw, they hope to find more time to write on their blogs…Demi’s site is at demisobanjo.com and Dami’s is at damisobanjo.com.

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Truth Journaling With Barb Raveling LJ056

Ep. Truth Journaling With Barb Raveling My Guest on today’s show coined out the process she calls Truth journaling as a way of renewing your mind. She is an amazing blogger, author, and podcaster.

Recently I noticed a trend in my personal story; that people pleasing and approval craziness are major hindrances that God delivered me from. That’s when I decided to do a series on breaking limits. While I was out looking for other people that have done some work on this topic I stumbled on the podcast of my new sister in the Lord. Here is a link to that episode.

Barb became a Christian 46 years ago but really didn’t start gaining victory over her bad habits until she started renewing her mind 18 years ago. Barb blogs about breaking free from strongholds and growing closer to God at barbraveling.com. She and her husband have been married 35 years and have four adult children. In their spare time, they like to camp, hike, backpack, ski, read, and hang out with family and friends.

You will not only enjoy my conversation with Barb, you will also be introduced to the amazing work that she has done and see how you also can learn to place a demand on God’s words in order to have a better and more fulfilled life.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play

Barb has done so much work in this space of developing great Christian habits. You can download her free App: ‘I Deserve A Donut’ for your ios and Android devices. This app is filled with scriptures that will help you break negative emotions and develop high performing habits.


Ep. 56 Transcripts: Truth Journaling With Barb Raveling

Welcome to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo and I’m very glad that you are here with me again today. And today, I have a very special guest on the show with me.

Recently I started seeing a trend in my personal story and I discovered that people pleasing – approval craziness, was a major hindrance that I’ve had struggle with and a major thing that God has set me free from. And that’s when I decided to do some series on breaking limits and mindset changes and all that. So, while I was looking out for other people that might have done some work on this topic, I stumbled on this wonderful podcast by my guest today. I’m going to link that podcast that I listened to, to the show note of this episode.

Her name is Barb Raveling and she’s a person that I’m getting to know and she’s someone that loves the Lord. She became a Christian about 46 years ago but really didn’t start gaining victory over her bad habit until she started renewing her mind 18 years ago. Barb blogs about breaking free from strongholds and growing closer to God on her website, barbraveling.com. She and her husband have been married for about 35 years and they have 4 adult children. In their spare time, they like to camp, hike, backpack, ski, read, hang out with family and friends. She has written about 5 books and many of those books have to do with renewing your mind and building habits that will bring you more fruit in your walk with the Lord. She’s here with me and I want to specially welcome you Barb, into the show. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Barb: Thank you for having me Olu. I’m excited to be here.

Olu: Very good. Thank you. So, I’d like you to tell us a little bit more about you. I see that you like hiking, backpacking and skiing. Tell us a little bit about all those fun things that you like to do. I know you live in the mountains. Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that?

Barb: Yeah. We live right in the mountains so we can go out and hike and be up in the mountains – the lake in a couple of hours. So that’s really nice. It’s something we grew up doing with our children and now our kids are out of the house and Scott and I still like to do those sorts of things. Just a nice way to relax and enjoy God, enjoy nature, enjoy each other and friends we do it with.

Olu: That’s amazing! That’s amazing. So about how often would you say you do that? Like I see a theme of outdoors there. Do you do that once in a week or is it more than that?

Barb: We try to get out once a week if we can but…

Olu: Okay

Barb: ….we don’t do much in the winter. We can cross-country skiing but it takes an hour to drive to wherever we would cross-country ski. So we don’t get as much out in the winter. In the summer, yeah! I’d say we hike at least once or twice a week. And sometimes we go like 7 in spring. We go hiking down there to the National park. We have a lot of great national parks here to hike.

Olu: Okay. Okay. Amazing! In the national park, do they have like animals or it’s just a park?

Barb: Well, it depends on the park. Like around here in Montana, there are grisly bears so that’s a little scary.

[Olu Laughs]

Barb: But yeah. You don’t have too much. Nothing that’s going to eat you up.

Olu: That’s good. That’s good. So be safe out there, please.

[Both Laughs]

Barb: I try to

Olu: Very good. Very good. So, just before the recording, you were telling me that you do this blogging and podcasting and writing right now, you do it full time. You also mentioned how when your kids were younger, you homeschooled them. Homeschooling is something that I’ve considered because of my lifestyle with my family – being missionaries. Sometimes we are here, sometimes we are there. I’ve considered and we are considering homeschooling the children at some point.

Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that? How did you decide to homeschool and now that they are out of the house, how is that for you?

Barb: Well, we actually decided to homeschool because our oldest one was reading a ___ book by the time he was supposed to go to kindergarten. So we thought he’d be kinda bored there…

Olu: Yeah

Barb: And we had friends, a lot of friends homeschooled and it just seemed kind of interesting. It seemed to be what would be best for the kids so we started it and they really liked it. And we just kept going. It was hard at times especially when the kids were young but we stuck with it. They were homeschooled till the end. It was worth it – well worth it but it was a bit of a sacrifice.

Olu: I can imagine. A huge… I don’t even think I’ll call it a bit of a sacrifice. I think it’s a major sacrifice because there’s so much you want to do but then you are the mom and the teacher…

[Barb Laughs]

…and the chauffeur and you are everything… It takes a lot of grace to do that.

Barb: That’s right.

Olu: Yeah.

Anyway, so blogging now is something that you’ve been doing. How did you decide on what topic to share on your website? How did you decide on renewing your mind series and I see also that you do a lot of Bible study guides? How did you get into that?

Barb: Well, I prefer writing because God had taught me some things and I wanted to share those things. I didn’t really want to be a writer. I just wanted to be able to help people outside my valley and I knew I’d have to write to do that. And He first taught me how to truth journal, that was about 18 years ago. For the first 3 years, I just spent a lot of time with God renewing my mind. He helped me figure out a lot of things and of course the Bible too. I got really interested in the Bible after a few years of being bored with the Bible as a Christian because I was interested in taking out the light, getting in on the truth and of course I wanted to read the Bible to get the truth out of it. So God changed my life in so many ways, through the discipline of truth journaling that I wanted to start helping other people. So, I started teaching some local Bible study on truth journaling and well, not really Bible study but to local women’s group. And they were interested. They thought it was really cool but nobody took the time to do it. So, I thought to myself because I really wanted to be able to help people develop that habit. And so in a week, I started writing about weight loss as kind of a backdoor to get people in to get closer to God – to grow their relationship with God because I knew that was something lots of people wanted to do – lots of Christians wanted to do, is losing weight. I have been overweight before and so I knew this was something that God could change through truth journaling. I started working on that in my own life and I thought, “I’ll write a Bible study on weight loss because then when people see how valuable truth journaling and renewing your mind can be for weight loss, then it will automatically help people grow closer to God and they can use it in other areas of life. And so I feel like that is why it happened. I get a lot of people write to me and say, “I grew a lot closer to God through your Bible Study…”

Olu: Amen.

Barb: And then, I just started writing on topics that God was working on in my own life. Of course, weight loss was one of those and it was insecurity, procrastination, negative emotions… The first area I started working on was resentment. That’s where I first started truth journaling about that. I think I just kind of grew into the habits and emotions. I’m kind of an undisciplined person by nature – like indulgent; want to have fun so I get lots of practice. I’m working on those habits regarding my own life and I write about those habits.

Olu: I find that it’s just beautiful to hear all that because I think that many of us believers have issues in the area of our minds – letting the mind go anywhere and we may not even notice that it’s gone. You just realize that some negative emotions just come up and you are not sure how you got there and all that. It’s really amazing to see how God has helped you with the weight loss and how you are able to get other people to follow along, you know, on the plan.

But as you were talking, what came to my mind is I wanted to have an idea of where the truth journaling started. How did that start for you? Was it that somebody introduced it to you? Was it that you just discovered one day that this was helping me? How did you get to that point of realizing that I really need to renew my mind and if I journal the truth as I’m getting them, it would help? How did you get there?

Barb: Well, my husband and I were in a Bible study with another couple – friends of ours. We each said, “Okay. Let each of us pick one thing to work on in our lives. One of our flaws that hurts their marriage. And I chose my thoughts that were being critical. I had a critical spirit and I was resenting my husband. So I thought, “Okay. I’m just going to start this think positive project. So every time I have a negative thought about my husband, I’ll write it down and I’ll put a positive thought down next to it. And I’ll start to think positive when I’m fragile…” And I only did that, I’d say for a week, 2 weeks at the most before I realized that my negative thoughts weren’t just negative. They were actually lies. So I started replacing lies with truths and I called it truth journaling. And I made a commitment to renew my mind every time I was annoyed with my husband. And in few months, God just radically changed my attitude towards him. So I wasn’t just like super duper annoyed at him anymore.

[Both Giggle]

I can’t tell you how much that He had changed me so I just kept doing it. Actually what I thought was, “Oh! This is so wonderful. 2 months, God really changes me. Of course not perfectly but huge differences. I could just do this for all the areas of my life. 2 months and I’ll be free from this new area.” So I started truth journaling about food and I did not take too much for about a few years… So, I realized some things are easier than others to get over but that’s kinda how I got started. And I really loved it. I loved that time with God. I truth journal; I talk to God about what He was revealing truth-wise. It was just a really nice time of worship with God.

Olu: Amen. Amen.

I know that there are people out there also that are listening to your story and are saying, “That’s me and I need help.” I’m trusting God that as they are listening to this, I’m trusting God that He’d draw their hearts to the place where they’ll begin to see that the word of God is rich and it’s strong, sharper than any two-edged sword and it can break away old habits and replace new ones.

I remember even in my life, there was a point where I was really frustrated with people. My husband, people, more people than my husband. As I was pastoring with – alongside my husband, one of the things that were really frustrating is to try to be what people wanted me to be. Not to necessarily their fault but me because I began to embrace the words of people as the word of God. So, I began to be turned from one person to the other. And, it got to a point where it became so hard for me – it got to the point where I was tired of everything and I just wanted to… God had to call me one time and said, “I’d like you to…” I think I must have been reading a book by Joyce Meyer or something at the time but I can’t remember the details. But I remember God speaking to me saying, “write down all the lies and write down the truth.” And I began to do that – I wrote down the worst case scenario and the Word of God that goes along with that. The process helped me a lot but I’m so excited and fascinated by the way you coined out truth journaling. It’s a habit that people need to learn and it can just take them away. And it’s very exciting to to see that two months, you start to see changes in your life and you start to understand God in a new way.

Do you want to talk a little bit more about weight loss? How does renewing your mind and weight loss, how does that come together? How?

Barb: A lot of times, the reason we feel like eating is that you are believing lies. So I might say, one little cookie won’t hurt or I deserve a doughnut or this would make me feel better… You know, things like that. And because we believe those things, it makes us eat too much. So then when we change our belief – take off the lies and put on the truth, it actually changes our desires. You’ll have truth journal the same thing over and over again because I might be believing those things. Like right now, I might truth journal and once I truth journal and take on the truth, I don’t have the desire to overeat anymore. But then 4 hours later, I might also be believing the same lies. That would spur anything. That could spur resentment, insecurity, anything.  So, we just keep taking those lies off and keep putting the truth on until eventually, we hear the truth as soon as we hear the lie and eventually not wanting to hear the lie anymore. It takes time to do that – it’s kind of like doing a spiritual work there. You’re in a huge battle. One battle is not going to do the trick. You have to keep fighting for a long time. If it’s short – like if it’s not a huge stronghold, then you can get over things pretty quickly but it just kinda depends on how much of a stronghold something is in your life. Eating takes a long time for a lot of people. Procrastination took a long time for me. Insecurity has taken a long time. I’ve been truth journaling about that for the last 6 years on and off ever since I started my last blog.

Olu: Amazing

Barb: If it’s somebody else, those things may take less time. It just kinda depends on the person I think.

Olu: And I guess… You mentioned something about strongholds also. I guess it depends on the level where it is at in the person’s life because I find that sometimes, you may not even think that it is a lie. Sometimes for example when… Let’s assume someone is in a difficult marriage that things are hard or you are in a relationship with a boss – a relationship at work where this person is just difficult. It’s a little hard, I mean it can even get really hard to be able to convince that person that they are the ones that need to work on themselves and renew their mind and not this other person that is mean to them at work. Because I’ve been in that situation before. While I was going through the process of having somebody that was extremely critical of me at work, I always thought the guy was the problem. I didn’t see it as an attack. I didn’t see it as a struggle – spiritual struggle. I just saw the guy as the main guy. And what did I do? Why is he mean to me? Those were the questions that were going on in my mind and so I find that even to get someone to a point where they begin to realize that they need a change – they are the one that needs a change. It’s a little hard.

I don’t know if you want to add. If somebody is listening right now and all they are thinking about is the fact that the other person is the problem. How do we get them to see that they need to renew their minds first?

Barb: Okay. Now, that’s a great question because that’s exactly how I felt when I started renewing my mind about my husband, about my marriage. I totally thought he was the problem. And a lot of my truth journal entries had things like “This isn’t fair!!! I can’t believe he did that…” That sort of thing.  Right now, my husband is a great Christian. He was also a great Christian back then. So, I’m not saying he’s a terrible Christian. But I was focused on his faults and I had a natural habit of being a critical Christian. So if I’m a critical person, I’m going to focus on his faults. So I tried changing him for maybe about 20 years.

[Both laugh]

At least 15 years and it just didn’t work. He wasn’t changing. So I’d say to that person first of all, how is… Should you be trying to change the person who is messed up? That’s not how it works out. We can say things just a few times or I can go to them… but the bottom line is we are all sinners. None of us changes fast as others would like us to change for various reasons. But we can’t change ourselves.

So, when I started working on renewing my mind, I felt really terrible being so angry with him. I don’t have outbursts or say anything. I was more of the silent angry type but I didn’t want to have to keep thinking ill of him so I wanted to get rid of that annoyance, okay. It didn’t work to change him to the type of person… I mean… I got annoyed too easily. But every time I renewed my mind, I just felt so peaceful. I felt super loved by God and it was worth it just to experience the peace. So, I know it will take a little bit of… It takes some time and effort to learn how to do it. For some people, it comes really easy… I actually have videos on my website. If you go to the renew your mind tab, under the renewing the mind tools, I have videos on how to truth journal and some other blog posts but it’s so worth it. I can’t remember what… Oh! When I kept realizing though is that I started out thinking he’s the bad guy. Almost every time I truth journal, I rewrite my own sin too. I was recognizing my sin of resentment… That may be repent or maybe be more compassionate with him. I’m not sure quite how to explain it but it just seems like “Okay, you’re the bad guy. I’m the good guy.” After truth journaling I realized, “Oh, we are both bad guys, we are good guys, and I can focus more on the good things about him except when I needed to accept that are not so good things but at least in my mind were not so good. Not necessarily simple. So anyway…

Olu: Very good. Very good. Thank you so much. I think the fact that we bringing the Word of God into a situation… The Word of God is powerful on its own and it has a way of breaking chains in our own lives. I think you know, as you are talking, one of the things that is coming to me since the fact that you are surrendering to the Word of God is I’m choosing to trust God that I don’t have the control. I don’t have the final say. His Word has the final say because and so I bring the Word of God into my situation – my relationship and I begin to say whatever your word says Lord, is what I’m going to believe and that’s what I’m going to live by. And that alone brings the power of God into your heart and I think that’s what renews the mind. And I believe also that… You know I was doing a study on this renewing the mind and all that and I saw that lady – Dr. Caroline Leigh. She talks about the fact… I think she’s a neuroscientist. Something like that.

Barb: Yeah. Yeah.

Olu: She talks about how the brain develops some really bad framework. I don’t know what word she uses. But your brain actually can change after you begin to think good. If you are used to the negative thoughts, it changes after a while if you just keep doing it and before you know it, the abundant life of Christ begins to be your experience in every area that you have exposed the word of God to.

So, yeah! I know you also have books that you’ve written, you have your blog and you also have a free app. Do you wanna talk about that? What’s …

Barb: Yeah. It’s called “I deserve a doughnut” and it’s a free Android and IOS app and it’s got questions that will help you renew your mind. There are questions and Bible verses. It’s directed towards people who want to lose weight but you could use it to break any habit or you can also use it to work on letting go of your negative emotions… I think I have 4 different types of Insecurity questions; I have anger, worry, envy… and you can push on whatever you think that you need and then we will ask questions. The questions you can either write down the answers in your journal. I think that’s super helpful than doing it in your mind. But you can also do it in your mind. If you do it in your mind then you can talk the answers over with God instead of writing them down in your journal. Or you should write the answers down and take breaks and talk to God. These are questions about help point out the life you have been living and help you get a biblical perspective on life. That’s what the most questions are like…

Olu: Very good.

Barb: These are questions that will help you not want to overeat or if you have a bad habit, not want to do your habit. You just have to adjust the question a little bit mentally… for breaking bad habits but they’ll work for that.

Olu: Very good. Very good. Very good. So I’ll recommend that app for everyone to get. “I deserve a doughnut” is on Android and IOS platforms so you can get it for getting the word of God to renew your mind for weight loss specifically and for breaking different habits. So please go there and download “I deserve a doughnut”

Yeah, you wanted to say something.

Barb: It also works for me go of negative emotions – worry, envy, insecurity… and I have a bunch of Bible verses too for each negative emotions. You can either work on answering the questions or you can just ignore the questions and use the Bible verses to meditate on or pray through. Either one is helpful.

Olu: Okay. Very good. Thank you so much. And you know, it’s very interesting that as Christians, sometimes we may even… we take work seriously, we take the study seriously but sometimes you hardly find somebody taking renewing your mind like a job that you have to do and if you don’t do it, that’s when the thief comes to kill, to steal and to destroy. But the life that Jesus came to give us is abundantly available for us but we have to work and take it. So, I really appreciate the time we’ve had to talk.

I ask you to just say a word of prayer as we wrap it up and just remember that there are some people that are struggling with different habits right now especially we are looking at habits this month on my podcast. I’d like you to just say a word of prayer over all that and end our time together today.

Barb: Lord, I thank you so much for the opportunity to be on this podcast and for all the people who are listening today who are struggling with different things and they may feel as though they may never get over them. They may be feeling discouraged or disturbed. Father, I pray for everyone who is listening and for Olu and I as well, that you will help us to glorify you with our lives. You’ll help us break the habits that you want to be broken. Help us let go of our negative emotions and hold all your gifts with open hands; to be accepting towards others and patient and loving more. I just pray for whatever we need in our lives to make that happen.

Thank you for your truth and thank you for how you give us wisdom whenever we come to you for help. Thank you for this podcast, in Jesus name. Amen.

Olu: Amen. Amen. Thank you so much, Barbara and I look forward to having you some more time on the podcast and God bless you.

Barb: God bless you Olu. Good to be here.

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Good Habits And Bad Habits LJ055

Good habits and bad habits In order to live a life of purpose, you must evaluate the relationship you have with the good habits and bad habits in your life. Will you agree with me that years of repetitive behavior is what brought you to where you are today? Oh yes, our habits help to push us forward or limit us from attaining what we desire in life. In fact, whether good or bad, habits are foundations to build one’s life on. Anyone that desires success then must realize that the path to success is in great habits.

I have a question for you: do you feel you are cruising along the road called life or is life cruising you?

As we start this discussion on habits, I will be talking with some great people: pastors, pastor’s wives, professionals, authors, bloggers. We will be discussing their practices. I am sure you will enjoy this month’s line up of program.

In order to start a new habit or to stop a bad one, you need a good amount of commitments, willpower, and strong desires. It takes a lot to overcome the natural tendencies to think, feel, speak and act in a certain way. Habits, when automated, can propel you towards a result, it will be important then to learn what habits you must break and which ones you must build.

When you desire an end result, there are certain habits that if done daily will eventually get you to your end results at the appropriate time. We see athletes show us this all the times. I am sure you know someone

One major question I get asked often is where do you get the time to do all that you do? And so I will share a few of the major habits that have really helped me to be efficient.

It all started 3 years ago when I began to get a nodding in my spirit to stop piling on more for myself. I will link the video I did about this in the description below. God wanted me to create some white space in my schedule. If you don’t understand what I mean you may also do well to listen to my episode on Multiple interest syndrome. I will also link that here. I was a scatterbrain, not that I was really exhausted, no I actually enjoyed it, but the only problem was that I didn’t have space in my day, Any space is quickly used to do something else. And then I got to that point when the owner of my life was complaining that I didn’t reserve space for him. That was when I consciously began to analyze my time and my habits.

Habits make or break us, what you do habitually will shape your life.

You need a strong reason to pursue a new habit or you won’t follow through. As we discuss habits this month, I hope you can trust God to help you break a bad habit and build up a good one, The truth though is that if you don’t have a strong reason why you are doing something, there is a big chance that you will quit along the way.

Jim John Said ‘Reasons make a whole lot of difference’

When you start a habit, you will find that you will have the urge to stop along the way.

Here are a few good habits and bad habits

1. A bad habit that I began to work on is negative thoughts. You may think this is not a habit but I tell you, it can break you, and its actually what determines what you become. I discovered that I used to criticize myself a lot before now and so I decided to break the habit. If this applies to you as well, pls join me.
2. Wake Up Early- Your brain is in its smartest and freshest position in the early hours of the day. Take advantage of it. Some people wake up to the news, I personally believe this is counterproductive. Don’t start by plunging your head into the problems in the world, not in communications nor social media. It’s better to start by arming yourself for a great day. Pray, read, write, study early each day to get the most out of life. I know it may be hard when your children are little, but try if you can and if not, don’t worry your baby will soon be independent.

Warning!

As you try new habits, I want to warn you? Accept yourself but push as well. What do I mean? as you try I can assure you that you will fail sometimes, don’t bit yourself for that. As an approval junkie, you have a huge tendency to feel really bad when you fail at something, don’t No, don’t stay there, don’t punish yourself for not getting ahead. When you fail, note it down but try again.

So what about you?

Do you wake up early? What is your morning routine like? Leave a comment below.

Ep. 50 – The Multiple Interest Syndrome

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Kill This Before It Kills You: Dealing With Resentments in Relationships – LJ054

dealing with resentments in relationships

I want to share my experience with you on resentments and give you some guidance on dealing with resentments in relationships. My aim with this episode is that you will not want to resent anyone again.

This is for you if you are resenting your spouse right now or you have ever done. Its also for you if you have any other person living or dead that you have resented because of what they did to you in the past. This emotion I find is a bit more prevalent among women. It is common in marriage and I will be sharing my experience of this and Yeah, Sadly I have resented my husband before. In short, I am aware of 3 major resentments I have had in life and that includes my husband and 2 other individuals. I hope you won’t judge me for this, I am just telling it as it is. And of course, I will also share how God helped me.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

The funny thing about this problem is that no one plans to resent another. Most of the times you may not even pay attention to know how you get there, you just suddenly realize you are in the resentment zone.

After the last episode of intentional love, I was getting ready one day when I realized that I may have to share this with you more in details.

What is Resentments?

Resentments as the ill feeling you have for someone as a result of something they did or a thought you had about their action or inaction.

Here is the experience: The last episode of resentment I had, this person said something that I was uncomfortable with, and I did not address it. That statement caused me to be angry and at that point, i didn’t stop myself from thinking about it. I continued to see many more reasons why the statement was wrong and destructive.

As the thought continued to brew in my heart it became bigger and unknowing to me it became deadlier each day. This continued for days and of course, at this point, I could no longer accommodate the person, I became critical of their every action. This person’s errors and habits became more annoying to me. I found that I wanted to correct them each time.

As much as I tried all my efforts to love them, I found more reasons why its impossible. I had become so critical and annoyed by the fellow, I couldn’t even see good at all in what they were doing.

Suddenly one day, God opened my eyes, I came to the light. Suddenly I realized I had been in a dark place the past few weeks concerning this person. I had been resenting them. In a flash, I realized that this was the same episode I had with my hubby a while before that. In short, it was also the same as the first person too.

As a result of resentments, you will find that the individual’s annoying habits start to really stress you.  You simply are not able to tolerate the individual’s good side, not even talk about their annoying habits.

And the worse part is that when you are resenting someone there seems to be a strong demon around you sent to keep you in the dark concerning that fellow, more like a new personal assistant. You may even try to convince yourself that I love this person and I won’t be annoyed with them again but the harder you try the more annoyance you feel.

Where do resentments come from?

Galatians 5:16 says… “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.

Usually, resentments start from: you want something and don’t get it, the works of the flesh becomes evident. You want attention, love, respect, approval, praise, support. Some other times its when you know you deserve something and don’t get it, you paid for a service or product and you don’t get it. someone is rude to you.

So then your flesh start its tantrum, the work of the flesh begin to come out especially anger.

“Anger, when focused on, can easily mature into resentments and resentments when it’s fully grown is hatred, with bitterness as it’s fuel.”

You see my dear, we get frustrated in life because we have this idea that people of things can make us happy.

“The day God opens your eyes to know that nothing outside of you can bring you fulfillments that the day you have found freedom and you must have a party.”

No-one and nothing outside of you can give you fulfillment in life, God; the love and joy he gives; is the only one that can give you the fulfillment you need in life. He is the one who can fill your void and He will be the right peg in the right hole of your life.

You must deal with every resentment you have, you must decide to get rid of bitterness in you.

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. Galatians 5:16,NLT

I see resentments everywhere even in the church. I was a pastor when I was going through these experiences and you can imagine how many of us Christians resent someone close or someone in our families growing up, someone we work with… the list goes on.

Steps To Dealing With Resentments in Relationships. 

  • First, you must realize that your mind needs to be renewed.  It’s true that people can be hurtful but in order to be free you are the one who must stop negative thoughts. Work hard with God using the word to renew your mind. When you catch yourself focusing on your anger and annoying issues, run to the Holy Spirit for help.
  • Second, make up your mind to intentionally love people around you. That way if they are actually hurting you-you must find a way to get help. Discuss with the fellow or with another person that can help you in this place. You don’t want to keep things in your heart. Sharing it makes it lighter and breaks you out of the jail that the devil wants to keep you locked in.
  • Thirdly, make up your mind to become whom God made you and get rid of every attempt to be fake. Don’t hide your feelings, find respectful ways to share what you feel.
  • Fourthly, allow people around you to be themselves. Always check your motives. Let go of trying to change the people in your life. Trust that the God and pray for them instead. Run far from trying to make people behave the way you think they must behave. That in itself is a chain around you because I can assure you that people won’t change because you make them, you are the one that will be frustrated.
  • Lastly chose to live in love. When you are living your life from a place of love from God daily, enjoy his love and let the overflow run to people around you no matter what. Chose to love people as they are not as you want them to be.

Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a selfish life?” Galatians 5:18 msg (paraphrased)

I will love to hear from you;

What about this topic today affected you the most? Do you have a question concerning Dealing With Resentments in Relationships or do you have a tip to help someone else understand this better? Then leave me a comment below:

 

 

Ps: Coming up on Like Jesus podcast, we will be talking about habits that can take you to the next level in different areas of life.  I will be interviewing some amazing people. I want you to also send me some habits that have helped you advance in life. 

Here is the format I want the audio to be… Hey Olu, For the past (period) I have been doing (habit) and It has helped me to (actions if any) and I have seen (result) I will be adding some of the habits you share with me to the podcast audio depending on how clear the recordings are. So please keep them coming.

 

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Ep. 53 – Intentional Love Part 2 With My Sweetheart

intentional love part 2Isn’t it interesting that close relationships can easily enter the zone of rights, privileges, and duties? Sadly, when this happens, even lovers switch from intentionally loving each other to the ‘tit for tat’ strategy. And because what goes around comes around, frustration and stress may start to pile up even in the best relationships.

If you, however, learn to practice intentional love, not only will your relationship and health improve, your productivity will also improve. Intentional love is active and not reactive while people pleasing is mostly reactive.

7 Steps To Intentional Love

  1. Get Your priorities right: Connect with your master daily. Make sure you know what you are doing so that you don’t have to feel bad saying yes or no.
  2. Start from Christ, not your right: We have been saved through faith. Let your love come from the mercies you receive from Christ, don’t be too preoccupied with thoughts about your rights and privileges. In Christ, you find peace, grace & wisdom.
  3. Make room in your mind & schedule for others. Don’t fully book yourself, reserve some quality time for the people you love.
  4. Excuse the faults of others, you are not perfect so are they.
  5. Don’t be afraid to say your mind. People cant read your mind, so don’t be afraid to share your mind respectfully to the other person. Even if you are misunderstood you can trust the Holy Spirit to clarify things. And I tell you this brings growth, both in your life and in your relationships.
  6. Don’t shun the wisdom of others. Be open to the wisdom of others, don’t trash others opinion. At least consider it, show them respect. You may find something good in it.
  7. Manage your mind. Guard the door of your heart. Get rid of any negative thoughts. Make sure that your old approval seeking lifestyle does not have to control you.  You may also lay your hands on some ‘Renewing Your Mind’ bible study that will help to correct some of your wrong ideologies.

Listen on iTunes or Google Play or Soundcloud

 

What other idea has helped you to love Intentionally?

Please leave me a comment below:

Episode Transcripts:

[Intro Message]

Hello! Hello!! This is Olu Sobanjo. I’m glad to have you again on Like Jesus Podcast. And I have my darling husband beside me here in the studio. Welcome!

Ade: Thank you! Hello Everybody.

Olu: We are very glad to always… We are very happy to have you all the time. Last week, we started talking about the part 1 of Intentional Love vs. People Pleasing. The idea that we started with is the fact that we all need to pay attention to our relationships and we need to genuinely, intentionally love people around us in order for us to get a better life; in order for us to have fruitfulness in every area of our lives where Jesus says, “I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” The idea is if you don’t work on your relationships i.e. the close relationships that you have, they would drag you back. Even though you are succeeding in some aspects, the fact that you are not doing well in your relationships, would drag you back and will slow you down. So, we were talking about that and one quote that I got from the book, The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schultz, is where we ended it last week. The quote is this… I will quote it again and then we will start from there today. So, it says, “One way to keep a positive attitude, is to make sure you are doing what you believe is morally right. When people do things that they don’t feel good about like lying to a significant other or taking from a friend without asking, it harbors guilt and erodes confidence. This negativity always shows up in a bad attitude.” It says, “Being happy and comfortable with a decision, on the other hand, builds more confidence and therefore sustains your better moods.” So, last week you were talking about… And for many years, you’ve always been saying this and when I read this n the book, I actually got it. You’ve always been saying, “Do the best that you think is right for the person and don’t do anything wrong for the person” If somebody is in your life and they are close to you, it’s important and I now saw it clearly in this book. It says the fact that if you do something negative, something morally wrong with you, it harbors – you begin to develop guilt. Guilt weighs you down and erodes the confidence that you have in the relationship that you are building with this person and that is where the frustration sets in.

I’d like you to continue from where you stopped last week,

Ade: You know, as you were reading that again, I remembered that Jesus said that first. He said, “Do unto others what you want them to do to you.” So, it’s the same whenever we are dealing with anybody. I always think of myself being in the other person’s shoes and I want to treat me the way I want to be treated. So, I treat the person the way I want to be treated too. Even if they are mean to me and I ask myself, “If I was mean t me, how will I want to be treated?”

Olu: [cuts in] Or if someone was mean to me…

Ade: Yes… No! If I was mean to someone…

Olu: Exactly!

Ade: …I put myself in their shoes and say, “If I was mean to me, how would I want to be treated?” I won’t want to be slapped; I don’t want myself to be beaten so what would I want? I would want the person to forgive me because I am just being foolish. I didn’t know what is wrong with me that is why I am being mean.

[Olu laughs]

Ade: I would now look at that person and say, “Well, the way I’m going to deal with you is… You know what? You are not going to get what you want. I’m just going to walk away from your meanness.” But I won’t go the extra mile and hurt them because I don’t want to be hurt…

Olu: Yeah

Ade: I know that I am the mean guy, I won’t want to be hurt. I don’t want someone to punch me in the face.

Olu: You know the point you are bringing up is actually a very valid point. Over the years that I’ve talked to people, I’ve realized that it’s natural to actually be mean to the person when they are mean to you. It is you know… It feels good. You feel like you pay back…

Ade: Yes!

Olu: You feel like they disrespect you, you give them what they deserve. They talk back to you, you punish them… It’s just a natural…

Ade: …reaction

Olu: It is just a natural feeling – the flesh’s way of dealing with it. It is nice that you are bringing that up and I’d like to highlight the aspect of the grace that we have in Christ. You may not naturally feel like doing what you are saying.

Ade: It is Jesus that does it.

Olu: Yes! It is the Christ that is inside you – in us…

Ade: He lives that life in us. That is what He wants to do. And even when I react wrongly. I don’t react right all the time but I find that there is something in me that wants to do that. So, maybe someone borrows money from me and doesn’t return it and the next time I speak to them, I speak to them roughly. It is not that I go after them or… it’s just a little bit rough. The Holy Spirit would convict me that, “if you were the one that couldn’t pay, would you want to be disrespected and talked to anyhow?” I would still feel it inside me so, over time, I am learning to still treat the person how I want to be treated even if I am doing wrong. So, how will I want to be treated even when I’m wrong? That’s how I learn. What this guy is saying is that what happens to you when you do that – when you do the right thing is that you remove the guilt. There are other consequences, right? Some may people may try to ride you or abuse your kindness. We are not dealing with the outside one first. We will deal with that later but for now, for you – for internally, to feel good and to feel strongly that you are doing what you think is right by the Holy Spirit that is in you, you should do that.

Olu: And I think that there is growth in the aspect that we are talking about. There is the first the conviction that comes. The Holy Spirit will convict you and He’d help you to realize that you need to be like me in this aspect of your life because naturally, you don’t feel like doing it but then, gradually you see that the Holy Spirit is pushing you and telling you “But then, this is not the way you should behave to the person. I want to let our listeners know that it is possible to grow.

Ade: That’s right

Olu: In the first instance, you may not feel like doing it. This is coming from somebody that has practiced it over – the process of renewing your mind. There may be a difficulty at the beginning but then that is where you cry for help and you say, “Lord, help me to do this…” like the man that said, “I believe but help my unbelief.” So, somebody is mean to you and somebody is doing something to you and you naturally feel like you should actually give them a punch in the face. But then, you realize that there is help in Christ. Christ has all the patience; He has all the perseverance; He has all the long-suffering; He has all the love and the joy that I need. I tap into that and I’m able to do what I need to do.

Ade: Another point that I’d like to talk about is the fact that I used to want to react but there is something that God opened my eyes to see. Which is the fact that the reason why that person is doing that is that they don’t have Jesus the way I have Him? So, it’s not that I won’t… I could be the guy that is mean that needs a punch in the face and so if I punch somebody in the face because He needs a punch in the face, then I’m trying to say that I am better off than Him. But it is Jesus that makes me be like this – to see that I am not supposed to behave like that. So with those two things in mind, doing unto others what you’d like them to do unto you and also, understanding that what you have is as a result of God’s grace on your life, it really helps you to calm down and just love.

Olu: That’s true.

Ade: When I say love, just do what to your best knowledge, you think is best for the other not for you. Sometimes, you need to make a sacrifice. That is what love means. You know what is good for you, you know what is good for the other person – within limits, within boundaries. Some people are a little bit off. They just keep destroying themselves – they keep sacrificing themselves to the extreme. Not that. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about within limits and knowing how to say, “Okay, I will make some sacrifice because I want to bless this other person. I don’t need their gratitude. I’m just doing it for me, knowing that this is what Christ in me…”

Both: …wants me to do

Olu: Yes, Yes. I really like that. This was something that God also opened my eyes to see a while ago where I began to see it in such a way that many of the things that we see in people and we are angry about, they are things that we do to God as well. And when you are angry, it is very similar to that guy that the master forgave His debt and said, ‘Don’t bother paying.” And he said, “You know what? Fine. Thank you” and left. Somebody owed him something so little and he said, “Put him in jail. You have to pay me back.” Sometimes, we forget. The same thing that you are accusing something of, is the same thing that you are doing. Actually, the fact that you are able to accuse somebody of an offense, is because you forgot that you don’t have any right even in front of God. And so, bringing it back to the point when you remember that it always starts with, “Actually, I died. I don’t have a life anymore. Jesus has paid the price and that is why I am able to start here and so I can’t demand from anyone. In short, there is no demand that anybody can give because I mean, I am gone. I’m supposed to be dead right now in sin but Jesus brought me back to life so the life that I have right now is no longer mine. So, I extend the mercy that I have received from the other person.

I don’t know if there is anything else that you wanted to say…

Ade: Yes! There is now the other side. There is the other side where you’ve done your best but because you always want the approval – you want the other person to say you have done very good; you know that your best will not be good enough in the sight of the other person or maybe not because you really can’t say because you don’t know the other person’s mind. Then, you still go ahead and do your best but you feel bad because the other person is not approving what you have done. So, that, we need to also talk about which is the fact that once you have done your best from your heart especially having prayed and accepted that this is how much God has helped you, please try – let’s just try to always be confident in the fact that, “You know what? The Holy Spirit helped me this way and that is enough. Now, if someone says, “You are not enough, you didn’t do enough”, let’s not allow that to continue to bring us down.

Olu: That is true.

Ade: And bring guilt. We don’t have to allow that because if we do that, it is just like doing evil. You take the guilt on, the confidence goes off and there is that cycle again. So once you break off from that cycle, you do the best that you can do within what you think that the Holy Spirit is helping you with and you let the rest go.

Olu: That is true. That is very good. It just reminds me of the fact that the Holy Spirit is always with us.

Ade: That’s right!

Olu: And it doesn’t even end at that junction. It doesn’t end at the junction of my decision that I need to make quickly. He is still with me even after because sometimes we will even do wrong…

Ade: …Be the wrong one

Olu: Exactly! And the Holy Spirit is still there and you can still receive grace for the next step to take.

And so, we have a few things that we have put together – that we talked about as some of the things that would help as a guideline for people that are listening and are saying, “I want to intentionally love. Can you give me some things that I need to be doing?” Maybe they have tried before and the relationships around them are not, you know… Maybe they have difficult people that they live with or that they are in a relationship with and they just need some guidelines, just to guide them – to always bring them to a point where they know they need help. Would you like to start talking about some of the things that it’s just good to always have this as a checkmark in your mind?

Ade: Well the foundation of it is getting your priorities right. The foundation is what we were talking about – Making sure that your relationship with the Holy Ghost, with Jesus, is not broken at any point in time. If you can guard that, it goes a long way. The others will follow. So that is why we say don’t do what you think the Holy Spirit doesn’t want you to do and all that. So, once the relationship is right – your relationship is good, your way of operation is always love, always!!! Anything that is not lovely, is not what you think Jesus would do and you are not doing that and you are asking for help all the time. I think that is the foundation. You start from there. That would be the point number 1.

Olu: Thank you very much and the next point that I have there is very similar to that but it’s, Starts from Christ, not your rights. And I like that because just like the parable that Jesus gave of the servant that won’t forgive the other person, it is easy to forget about the fact that Christ forgave me and then begin to say, “This is my right. I’m the one that should… If I don’t tell you, nobody will tell you. If I don’t put my mind to it, t is not going to work. It is my right…” If you begin to go the route of the right, you are going out of them… you must always start with Christ which is Christ forgave you. You forgive other people. When you start with that, it helps you in your relationship with somebody that is very difficult. Some people, they are in very difficult relationships; for some people, they are in a mean environment; some single people, they may find themselves in environments that are so hostile to them but it still applies. Where you don’t start with the rights that you have as human beings which is very important but start with Christ and say, “The mercy that I receive, I give.” And I believe that helps a lot. It helps with intentional love. It is actually like a foundation of intentional love where you can actually give the best – you give the Christ-like life. That is what you are expecting in your relationship.

Ade: That is right. That is right! The other one is to make room in your mind and schedule for others which means… You know, we are talking about relationships with one another. There will be a need for one to make a sacrifice for another person to have a good time or to move forward spiritually or to move forward in their career and all that. So, we need to intentionally decide that I am going to take my time and give it to the other person; take from my resources and give to the other person; listen to the other person and allow them to take some of my rights so to say. All of these things come with communication – good communication…

Olu: That’s true

Ade: Once the communication is going well, then you will move forward. Now, there are relationships that the communication is mostly broken and there is no discussion ad some of these things can’t work specifically but these are good foundations – good things that you can easily begin to put into your life and you will begin to see results immediately when you take the time to say, “You know what? What is it that you are going through? What is it that you are experiencing or sometimes, you just need to ask for even some time. I’m looking at the case of people not just giving their time because some people are always giving their time and they are not getting it back. So maybe you should just ask for some time also. It is going to help.

Olu: That is true. That is true. On that note, not overbooking yourself that you don’t give extra time to be with somebody in your life. It’s part of it also.

I have the next one there is don’t be afraid to say your mind. Don’t be afraid to say your mind. This is one that I used to have issues with because I am scared that if I say my mind, it may not be taken right.

Ade: Misinterpreted…

Olu: It may be misinterpreted or misunderstood. Over the years, God has really… I may say over the months actually, God has really helped me to see that you need to just say your mind. It is not the end of the world. And even if it is the end of the world and the person misinterprets it, you still need to be able to say it. Whatever is in your mind is in your mind! It helps in every relationship. It helps people… For example the fact that… One example in our own relationship is the fact that two things. You like to sleep in the dark when there is not too much light to distract you. I like it to be bright when I am sleeping.

Ade: Now, you love to sleep in the sun.

[Both Laugh]

Olu: I like it not too bright but I like to have a nightlight. But even my very small night light is too much for you.

Ade: It’s too much for me.

Olu: And then we must be able to discuss that. Then, the aspect – the other aspect of you are able to do a lot with people around, you know, the buys running around, people around and you are still able to focus on – concentrate. I’m not able to do that. And it got a point I had to open up and say… Because before I used to think I am not smart enough – I am not as smart as you that is why I am not able to combine all of these together but then it had to get to a point where I said NO! It doesn’t matter even if I’m not as smart as you. I’m not trying to compete with you. I just know that when I am with a lot of people, I’m not able to concentrate and I’m not able to do a lot. So, I had to open up. It’s good to get to a point where you open up your mind and let the other person know what’s going on.

Ade: That’s right! Communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!!

Olu: That’s true.

Ade: It’s always a foundation for good relationship. And with great wisdom and carefulness, not just being mean in communication…

Olu: Yes, Yes!

Ade…but it is good stuff.

Olu: Yes

Ade: Now, excuse the fault of others. Excuse the fault of others. The beauty of relationships is that the other person is not going to be exactly like you and we need to really learn to let people be themselves. So, that can be a problem. If we don’t let the other person be themselves, we are going to always have frustrations. Let’s just pray because I think it is very difficult but we must pray to God to help us to just let the other person be. Let’s learn to discover rather than change the other person. Yes, Yes.

Olu: Yes and the next one there is don’t shun the wisdom of others. There is a point where you just feel like I know. I know what I am doing. So, when somebody comes and they bring you a suggestion, you say, “You know what?” Now you may be smiling and saying, you like what they are saying but really you are not. You don’t like it. You are waiting for them to just zip their mouth together and leave you right now because they are wasting their time. And so it’s very important to also… Because it’s true that they may not understand you; it is true that they may not be able to express things the way you’d express it – be able to communicate it. But it is also very important that you know that other people, even though they are different from you, they also have something good to offer. It doesn’t mean that you have to take it. You can take it but you can take it. If you actually listen clearly, even children, if you listen to them, you will realize that they have some important things that they are saying. And if you just have a mindset of shutting people off, you will lose out.

Ade: you will lose out.

Olu: You’d be the one that loses out in life. So, it’s very important that you don’t close your mind to the wisdom that people have.

Ade: Yes, Thank you. The last one that is written down here is managing your mind which is tell yourself that all those noises is noise. I think that has helped me a bit. I tell myself I don’t know what you don’t tell me. I just try to tell myself. “Ah! Maybe that guy just wants to trick you”, I say, “Did he say that? He didn’t say that so I don’t know that. I’m not going to waste my energy thinking about that.” What this means is just try to think about what you are thinking about.

Olu: Exactly. Exactly!

Ade: You just try to be aware. Try to be conscious of what your mind is saying or what the enemy is saying to you or what you are scared of or what you are doubting and shut down as many of them as are not useful.

Olu: All of them. All of them.

Ade: Some can be useful but anything that is not useful- anything that is not good…

Olu: Okay, I get what you mean.

Ade: Yeah

Olu: And…

Ade: …shut them down.

Olu: You are right.

Ade: Rather, let the Holy Spirit speak instead.

Olu: That’s true. That’s true. I…

Ade: Things that are positive, things that are good, things that are building…

Oulu: That’s what it says in Philippians.

Ade: Things that make you have faith and move forward, think on those things.

Olu: That’s it. That’s it. And one of the episodes in March will focus on our thoughts and what to do about that. And I am hoping to actually get somebody – to invite somebody on the show to talk more about these. But I think that it’s a big thing. And it’s a process of growth. It’s our process of growth. This issue of guarding your heart is everywhere in the scriptures. It is very important. In short, is it Ephesians that talks about taking captive of imaginations – things that are just thoughts in your mind and seeing them as “these are deadly” and actually recognizing them as that and dealing with them in that way. It’s very important because if you are going to intentionally get the most out of a relationship, you must think the best o that relationship. And so, it is very important we work on that and make sure that whatever… As things are coming in – we get information from all our senses -as they are coming into us that just as we eat food and we digest, we take as much as we need and we throw away the rest, the same way the information that comes into our minds need to be digested as well. And whatever is a waste product, if you keep it inside, it can kill.

Ade: Yes!

Olu: In the physical sense, the leftover from your body that is supposed to be excreted out, if it is kept in your body, it can kill you. The same way the mind also works. Something that needs to go, if it doesn’t go it is going to really…

Ade: …start destroying the system

Olu: Exactly. It is going to destroy the system. It will destroy the relationship. It will destroy the impact that you are supposed to be having in the world that God brought you into.

Ade: And even health

Olu: And even your health as well. You know, I shared that on my stomach ulcer issue. So, I like us to just wrap this up on this note with a word of prayer. You’re the pastor, you are my pastor. Pray for us.

Ade: Sure.

Father, we thank you once again for the opportunity to share our lives and share your Word with your children. Lord, our prayer is that you’d continue to live out the true love in us and live out your purpose and your plans for us. We confess that we do make mistakes and we do fall into the flesh – the human nature but what we want is to walk always in the Spirit. So, Lord, we receive grace. We pray for everyone that is listening for special grace this week and for the rest of our lives to live like you… to love fully, to love intentionally and to love powerfully through you, in Jesus name.

Olu: Amen! Amen! Thank you so much, everyone, for listening. Thank you, Ade for joining me for this 2 sessions and I look forward to having you again soon.

Ade: It’s my pleasure.

Olu: Thank you for listening to this episode of Like Jesus Podcast. Don’t forget to head over to lusobanjo.com for more useful resources. While you are there, remember to leave me a comment. At least you know now how bad I want your approval

[Chuckles]

And if you found this on iTunes, please take 2 minutes to review it. It’d help other people like you to find the show. Alright, now it’s your turn to go impact someone with what you’ve got. Bye for now.

[Outro Music]

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